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mashka9

mashka9

Member
Oct 4, 2023
47
it's been a while, so i thought i'd give u guys an update ig.
i was doing pretty great for like a month ish, altho i was high on speed literally every single day. now tho, my tolerance has gone up a shit tun and even just the thought of being sober for a day kills me.
eventually i also ran out of money, considering that i'm a hs dropout and haven't got a job, so i started selling myself. i'm only 18 yet i spend my days fucking old men for money.
i can't believe my life has come to this. there's no hope left for me, i think.:(
 
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Otaku

Otaku

Experienced
Mar 2, 2024
229
I don't know how wealthy your family or caretakers is.
Or where you live. In most part of EU, most of help is free.
I think one of your first stop should be a social worker or some sort of person, that can point your life in the right direction.

What is the next step? Is it a clinic to get out of the drugs, or what is? I hope you have some elder persons, that can help you point in the right direction.
 
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T

ttg30000

Member
Feb 13, 2023
10
Hi .. I hope you are ok today .. as ResidentEvil mentioned, is your family an option for help and support?

You are so young. This does not have to stay your story, unless you want it to be. There is hope. You can turn this around. I dont know where you are, but am more than happy to help you find a localised service that may assist, if you like.
 
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mashka9

mashka9

Member
Oct 4, 2023
47
Can you go to rehab?
i still live with my parents and i know this would also force me to a psych ward again, which i'd honestly rather die than go to:( i get help for my mh but i'm way too ashamed to tell my doctors this, as they're already concerned about other things
 
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SadLad

SadLad

Member
Feb 9, 2024
49
Just realise a lot of people have been in your position and gotten out of it. I have really bad experiences with amphetamines but I know they can be very addictive. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of shame. I don't really have a solution but I have been quite addicted to other drugs so maybe can share some insight through private message if you'd like.
 
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mashka9

mashka9

Member
Oct 4, 2023
47
I don't know how wealthy your family or caretakers is.
Or where you live. In most part of EU, most of help is free.
I think one of your first stop should be a social worker or some sort of person, that can point your life in the right direction.

What is the next step? Is it a clinic to get out of the drugs, or what is? I hope you have some elder persons, that can help you point in the right direction.
i already have a social worker and a nurse assigned to me, mainly because i can't go to school because of my depression. the thing is, neither of them, or my parents, know about any of this. i'm way too embarrassed to admit to anything like this, especially since my mom has been so happy as she thinks i'm "better", but i just haven't been sober for months. all of my family is so pleased with my progress with my mental health and even my nurses keep telling me how they "didn't think i'd make it but now it seems like everything's gonna be okay", yet none of them have any idea of what my life has come to..
 
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SadLad

SadLad

Member
Feb 9, 2024
49
i already have a social worker and a nurse assigned to me, mainly because i can't go to school because of my depression. the thing is, neither of them, or my parents, know about any of this. i'm way too embarrassed to admit to anything like this, especially since my mom has been so happy as she thinks i'm "better", but i just haven't been sober for months. all of my family is so pleased with my progress with my mental health and even my nurses keep telling me how they "didn't think i'd make it but now it seems like everything's gonna be okay", yet none of them have any idea of what my life has come to..
BTW I basically took drugs constantly from 18-22 and got clean, you can too. Some days I was awake for 3 days in a row. You're trapped in a vicious cycle right now but you can get clean.
 
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M

mtoro998

Experienced
Feb 29, 2024
257
You can still change things start planning to get out and invest that money into a business.
 
theboy

theboy

Visionary
Jul 15, 2022
2,962
you have to have the confidence to tell what is happening to you to get out of where you are.
 
jpfef

jpfef

colossus of roads
finite for sure ⚑
Sep 10, 2023
5
:( i'm a drug addict too. i have been since i was 16, and i'm 20 now. it's not a bad way to live, it's just different. but if you're going to continue down this path, it's important to set up some harm reduction practices. not necessarily for staying alive, but to improve your quality of life for the time being. instead of prostitution, i would suggest doing some form of online sex work, like onlyfans maybe. it's not great, but it's better than anything irl. you'll probably make more money tbh. i know i did..

do you want to get sober? are drugs helping you or harming you? these are the kinds of questions you need to ask yourself. drugs can be an effective coping mechanism, but only up to a certain point. i passed that point about a year ago but you still have time. maybe try getting sober, even for a little while. try it out and see how it feels. the first few weeks are absolute misery, but after the post acute withdrawals, there might be an improvement.
 
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H

hadenough58

Student
Mar 7, 2024
100
i already have a social worker and a nurse assigned to me, mainly because i can't go to school because of my depression. the thing is, neither of them, or my parents, know about any of this. i'm way too embarrassed to admit to anything like this, especially since my mom has been so happy as she thinks i'm "better", but i just haven't been sober for months. all of my family is so pleased with my progress with my mental health and even my nurses keep telling me how they "didn't think i'd make it but now it seems like everything's gonna be okay", yet none of them have any idea of what my life has come to..
If both your social worker and nurse does not recognise the signs of what you are doing then you are either an actress to rival Meryl Streep or they are failing you and need replacing.
I appreciate that over coming embarrassment is far easier said than done but you need to speak to somebody and to somebody you do not know but can trust would be my suggestion for the first step.
You are very young and so have a life time to change your situation for the better
 
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TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Visionary
Aug 27, 2018
2,913
it's been a while, so i thought i'd give u guys an update ig.
i was doing pretty great for like a month ish, altho i was high on speed literally every single day. now tho, my tolerance has gone up a shit tun and even just the thought of being sober for a day kills me.
eventually i also ran out of money, considering that i'm a hs dropout and haven't got a job, so i started selling myself. i'm only 18 yet i spend my days fucking old men for money.
i can't believe my life has come to this. there's no hope left for me, i think.:(
Are you from the US?
 
rotciv

rotciv

Something In The Way
Mar 25, 2023
496
it's been a while, so i thought i'd give u guys an update ig.
i was doing pretty great for like a month ish, altho i was high on speed literally every single day. now tho, my tolerance has gone up a shit tun and even just the thought of being sober for a day kills me.
eventually i also ran out of money, considering that i'm a hs dropout and haven't got a job, so i started selling myself. i'm only 18 yet i spend my days fucking old men for money.
i can't believe my life has come to this. there's no hope left for me, i think.:(

Whats your plan now?
 
RegretedFeeling

RegretedFeeling

Student
Mar 21, 2021
103
it's been a while, so i thought i'd give u guys an update ig.
i was doing pretty great for like a month ish, altho i was high on speed literally every single day. now tho, my tolerance has gone up a shit tun and even just the thought of being sober for a day kills me.
eventually i also ran out of money, considering that i'm a hs dropout and haven't got a job, so i started selling myself. i'm only 18 yet i spend my days fucking old men for money.
i can't believe my life has come to this. there's no hope left for me, i think.:(
Right there with you
 

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