Venting i am well and truly tired.

[olvidame]

I suffer from what is likely the most severe case of hypochondria/anxiety that has ever fucking existed. Every day is a struggle. My mind and body are in tatters because I can't seem to feel better. Ill keep it short. I was a loner neet my entire life. I went out and got a GF and a job. Lost my gf. Now I'm close to losing my job that I'm actually good at and well liked by the people there. I'm tired of fighting. It's too much. All the time every day I barely get any breaks. I am done. Going to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist to try and get some fucking Xanax so I can nod off and not feel shit anymore . I can't express how much I truly suffer. It is unreal the fact that I havent caught the bus yet. But I am very very close. Medicating is my last try at this life.

I suffer from what is likely the most severe case of hypochondria/anxiety that has ever fucking existed. Every day is a struggle. My mind and body are in tatters because I can't seem to feel better. Ill keep it short. I was a loner neet my entire life. I went out and got a GF and a job. Lost my gf. Now I'm close to losing my job that I'm actually good at and well liked by the people there. I'm tired of fighting. It's too much. All the time every day I barely get any breaks. I am done. Going to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist to try and get some fucking Xanax so I can nod off and not feel shit anymore . I can't express how much I truly suffer. It is unreal the fact that I havent caught the bus yet. But I am very very close. Medicating is my last try at this life.

Every waking moment I have to be ready for my mind to attempt to turn on me. I'm tired. I've fought so hard for so long but it just won't quit. So if meds won't help, I'm fucking done with this shit life and this shit brain and body I was cursed with.
So sick of it. Imagine being in fight or flight mode all the time. Your fucking heart beating fast and hard from the smallest trigger, inconvenience or loud noise. I'm so fucking fed up with this shit I'm considering just sitting my wrist now and getting it over with

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so tired of existing, it's so cruel and dreadful to me how there's all this suffering in existing, it sounds like you've suffered a lot. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope you find the relief you search for.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with all of this. It is overwhelming. I always hated the word hypochondriac because the doctors can't figure out what's wrong doesn't mean I'm imagining this stuff.

I suffer from very bad anxiety, it's very difficult, I completely understand. I just sleep a lot now, it gives my brain a break and rest. I don't know how I would cope if I had to stay woke everyday, it would be too much to handle.

I suggest you try to take naps if possible. What helps me is listening to audio books, music, podcast, etc. Basically, anything that will block the voices in my head is helpful. Maybe those things can possibly help you. I have 3 sets of headphones, so I'm rarely alone with my thoughts.