Venting i am so sick of myself

[Suicidal Ideation]

my existence irritates me so fucking bad i wish i wasn't a real person, living, breathing the same air as everyone else. i literally don't deserve it, im so fucking sick of myself because i am the reason im like this. even when im granted something good i always manage to fuck it up cause im so fucking dumb and stupid. i actually loathe myself so bad. i wish i could realize the importance of things before they're gone from my life. i wish i wasn't always fucking things up. i wish i wasn't so dumb. i deserve nothing.

 

[immrw]

I feel the same. I see myself in the mirror or dissociate and see myself interacting with people and I get so annoyed with myself. Like I hate that bitch. I'm so awkward around people, always say the wrong stuff. I always wondered why I got bullied growing up, but honestly if I met myself now I'd probably hate me too.