Venting I am so done

[BBY]

Bro I'm actually gonna fucking do it I am so sick of my family. I made my mom a whole meal and she still has the audacity to complain bc there is no bread like.. I couldn't go out to get some earlier bc I had to watch the cats??? She says it like it's my fault the bread isn't good anymore. I can't wait to be fucking dead. I bet she'll be so relieved to not have to deal with a child like me anymore. I hate her so much. She not only made me but also ruined my life. I hate her.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish that humans were aware enough not to procreate, I think that procreation is something so selfish and harmful especially when the parents treat the person they brought here in such a cruel way. I understand why you would be looking forward to finally being free from all the suffering as it's awful feeling trapped in an existence that you hate, I wish you the best.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Bro I'm actually gonna fucking do it I am so sick of my family. I made my mom a whole meal and she still has the audacity to complain bc there is no bread like.. I couldn't go out to get some earlier bc I had to watch the cats??? She says it like it's my fault the bread isn't good anymore. I can't wait to be fucking dead. I bet she'll be so relieved to not have to deal with a child like me anymore. I hate her so much. She not only made me but also ruined my life. I hate her.

Oh dear don't hate your mum for doing and saying that. I understand your frustrations but maybe you can try to talk to her and explain to her how she makes you feel when she does that?… Also you said she ruined your life ? How did she ruin your life if you don't mind me asking?

Just to add when a parent brings a child to the world and cause harm to the child that sort of person shouldn't be a parent, I can never understand why a parent would give birth to a child and only to cause her mental pain later on…

That's why I have no desire to have children and my focus is to just complete ctb successfully ….

 

[BBY]

Oh dear don't hate your mum for doing and saying that. I understand your frustrations but maybe you can try to talk to her and explain to her how she makes you feel when she does that?… Also you said she ruined your life ? How did she ruin your life if you don't mind me asking?

Just to add when a parent brings a child to the world and cause harm to the child that sort of person shouldn't be a parent, I can never understand why a parent would give birth to a child and only to cause her mental pain later on…

That's why I have no desire to have children and my focus is to just complete ctb successfully ….

She gaslit me so much I doubt my own memory and constantly have to second guess myself. When I reached out for help when I started to self harm she mocked me because it wasn't deep enough. She told me ctb on multiple occasions and even offered to help by bringing me a dull knife and putting it against my wrists. She didn't notice my behavior shift when I was 7 and got said by my older brother. I went to therapy for a while but she was complaining about the cost and having to drive me there. She blamed me for the fact that I didn't tell her about my brothers drug addiction(he begged me not to tell her). Recently she's been using me as a emotional pillow, veting to me about how she isn't sure if she loves my dad, crying about my brother having fut her off and so on. Last but not least she is actively stopping me for meeting my friend(who is getting sick of me canceling plans). I tried talking to her, teachers and therapists. Nothing helped. I am just so done with everything. (Sorry for the rant ^^')

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

She gaslit me so much I doubt my own memory and constantly have to second guess myself. When I reached out for help when I started to self harm she mocked me because it wasn't deep enough. She told me ctb on multiple occasions and even offered to help by bringing me a dull knife and putting it against my wrists. She didn't notice my behavior shift when I was 7 and got said by my older brother. I went to therapy for a while but she was complaining about the cost and having to drive me there. She blamed me for the fact that I didn't tell her about my brothers drug addiction(he begged me not to tell her). Recently she's been using me as a emotional pillow, veting to me about how she isn't sure if she loves my dad, crying about my brother having fut her off and so on. Last but not least she is actively stopping me for meeting my friend(who is getting sick of me canceling plans). I tried talking to her, teachers and therapists. Nothing helped. I am just so done with everything. (Sorry for the rant ^^')

Oh wow that sounds like a nightmare, I'm sorry for what you are going through and I hope you can heal from all of this.

She sounds like she has mental health issues herself because why would she take a knife and put it on your wrist? Very strange for a mum to behave like that.

Anyway I wish you all the best from whatever decision you make as it can't be easy.

 

[BBY]

Oh wow that sounds like a nightmare, I'm sorry for what you are going through and I hope you can heal from all of this.

She sounds like she has mental health issues herself because why would she take a knife and put it on your wrist? Very strange for a mum to behave like that.

Anyway I wish you all the best from whatever decision you make as it can't be easy.

Thank you! I hope life treats you well!!

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Thank you! I hope life treats you well!!

Thank you but I will be leaving this world soon, my days are numbered and if my CO method fail I will end up choosing a violent method that I was against before so that there won't be any chance for survival for me. That's how much I despise existing.