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girafeli

girafeli

it's okay
Dec 23, 2025
39
I'm dreading it. I don't want to think of it. I wish time would stop. I wish I didn't have to think anymore. I wish I was gone.
I'm scared of sleeping because I dread waking up to another panic attack. I feel so paralyzed. I feel so empty.

i feel like this rn fr




shoutout to mitski and phoebe btw for making songs i can cry to
 
Last edited:
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Unlucky777

Unlucky777

Arcanist
Dec 10, 2025
402
I wish I didn't have to think anymore.
This x 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

My fingers are tired and I still don't think I have enough zeros in here
 
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girafeli

girafeli

it's okay
Dec 23, 2025
39
This x 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

My fingers are tired and I still don't think I have enough zeros in here
sometimes i wish there was just a way to just turn off emotions or actually feeling anything even just for a moment. like something that can just turn me into a robot to get over my anxiety so i could get better
 
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Unlucky777

Unlucky777

Arcanist
Dec 10, 2025
402
sometimes i wish there was just a way to just turn off emotions or actually feeling anything even just for a moment. like something that can just turn me into a robot to get over my anxiety so i could get better
I think about this quite often (actually every day).

I thought sleep would fit the bill but then I have sleep issues also, really bad insomnia. I'm lucky if I can shut my brain off for more than 2 or 3 hours a night.

Would you say sleep is the closest thing to this?
 
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girafeli

girafeli

it's okay
Dec 23, 2025
39
I think about this quite often (actually every day).

I thought sleep would fit the bill but then I have sleep issues also, really bad insomnia. I'm lucky if I can shut my brain off for more than 2 or 3 hours a night.

Would you say sleep is the closest thing to this?
I think so? but I don't like sleeping lately because my anxiety has started manifesting in my dreams too. Even when they don't, I just wake up with panic attacks. Sometimes I can just turn my brain off for hours when there's something I can distract myself with.

hbu?
 
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Unlucky777

Unlucky777

Arcanist
Dec 10, 2025
402
I think so? but I don't like sleeping lately because my anxiety has started manifesting in my dreams too. Even when they don't, I just wake up with panic attacks. Sometimes I can just turn my brain off for hours when there's something I can distract myself with.

hbu?
OH I'm sorry to hear that. I have been having dreams also where I feel anxiety but I quite enjoy dreaming. 99.99% of my dreams I feel anxious but something about dreaming is so euphoric to me. Even when I don't remember WTF I dreamed about, I can recall the feeling of euphoria. Crap I'd do anything right now to be able to sleep for an hour or so and go off into a dream state 🥰🥰🥰

My overthinking is in ultra overdrive right now, especially after a night where I barely slept. Nothing can distract my brain once it breaches a certain threshold 😒😒😒. Sometimes doing crossword puzzles or playing chess helps. IDK I'm very weird and bizarre.

What distractions work best for you?
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,116
I understand, I just want to be gone as well, all I want is peace from this cruel, torturous existence, I just always find it so dreadful to exist, I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.
 
girafeli

girafeli

it's okay
Dec 23, 2025
39
OH I'm sorry to hear that. I have been having dreams also where I feel anxiety but I quite enjoy dreaming. 99.99% of my dreams I feel anxious but something about dreaming is so euphoric to me. Even when I don't remember WTF I dreamed about, I can recall the feeling of euphoria. Crap I'd do anything right now to be able to sleep for an hour or so and go off into a dream state 🥰🥰🥰

My overthinking is in ultra overdrive right now, especially after a night where I barely slept. Nothing can distract my brain once it breaches a certain threshold 😒😒😒. Sometimes doing crossword puzzles or playing chess helps. IDK I'm very weird and bizarre.

What distractions work best for you?
just anything tbh :/ moments when things are silent and i'm just alone with my thoughts are the worst
 
D

daruino

odi et amo
Nov 9, 2025
127
Very real.. sometimes I wish i could just shut my brain off. I hate being alone with my own thoughts..

And aaa I love mitski but I avoid listening to her when i'm feeling down because it really keeps/worsens those feelings, but she's such a great artist wow.
 
girafeli

girafeli

it's okay
Dec 23, 2025
39
I avoid listening to her when i'm feeling down because it really keeps/worsens those feelings
this. im at a point where hearing a song i resonate with will absolutely send me into a breakdown
 
L

lollipoppi

Member
Dec 29, 2025
18
I relate so much. How are we supposed to keep going on when we know what horrible future awaits us? I send you lots of hugs ❤️
 

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