Venting Hurting myself makes me high

[Cirno]

I don't know how it works, but... After I cut myself I feel like I'm high. I have problems with blood clotting, and seeing my blood leak through my skin makes me so calm and ecstatic. I love looking at my scars, and my most favourite ones are the ones that are still fresh and leaking my fluids. It even makes me horny sometimes... I always knew I am a masochist, but actually experiencing it like that, it feels different.

What the hell is wrong with me?

 

[NoIdeaForAUsername]

What the hell is wrong with me?

Just go to shrink / therapy and try to fix it. The issue is about danger to your health

 

[Cirno]

Just go to shrink / therapy and try to fix it. The issue is about danger to your health

The problem is- I have no money for these stuff. I barely afford my psychiatrist and meds. Sadly mental health department in my country is really bad, and the government doesn't try to fix it. Poland is on 18th place on the worldwide statistics of suicide amounts. 10th place in Europe. We have almost non-existent psychiatry...

 

[Anonymousa]

Feeling somewhat high when cutting is something a lot of people feel. Something to do with producing adrenaline and hormones when you hurt yourself to emotionally regulate yourself I think. I felt high and calm from cutting too and even horny sometimes from it so you are not alone at all.

 

[fenty]

I don't know how it works, but... After I cut myself I feel like I'm high. I have problems with blood clotting, and seeing my blood leak through my skin makes me so calm and ecstatic. I love looking at my scars, and my most favourite ones are the ones that are still fresh and leaking my fluids. It even makes me horny sometimes... I always knew I am a masochist, but actually experiencing it like that, it feels different.

What the hell is wrong with me?

SAME
When i was cutting the most i would start manically laughing and i couldn't stop smiling for like 10 minutes and then i would drink the blood (gross i know lol) and that would be the highlight of the month. I would feel like im drunk or something. I honestly just think its the relief like any other coping mechanisms (overeating, drinking etc).

 

[NoIdeaForAUsername]

The problem is- I have no money for these stuff. I barely afford my psychiatrist and meds. Sadly mental health department in my country is really bad, and the government doesn't try to fix it. Poland is on 18th place on the worldwide statistics of suicide amounts. 10th place in Europe. We have almost non-existent psychiatry...

Są miejsca refundowane z Unii, w ktorych masz za darmo wszystko niezaleznie od ubezpieczenia. Ja mam takie miejsce w mojej gminie. Zainteresuj sie tematem, może tez gdzies masz niedaleko i nawet nie wiesz

 

[Cirno]

Są miejsca refundowane z Unii, w ktorych masz za darmo wszystko niezaleznie od ubezpieczenia. Ja mam takie miejsce w mojej gminie. Zainteresuj sie tematem, może tez gdzies masz niedaleko i nawet nie wiesz

Wizyty prywatne na jutro 280 zł, wizyty na NFZ 465 dni oczekiwania. Nie zaliczam się też do osób nieletnich, a większość dofinansowań Unijnych jeśli chodzi o psychiatrię jest właśnie na psychiatrię dziecięcą.

 

[NoIdeaForAUsername]

Wizyty prywatne na jutro 280 zł, wizyty na NFZ 465 dni oczekiwania. Nie zaliczam się też do osób nieletnich, a większość dofinansowań Unijnych jeśli chodzi o psychiatrię jest właśnie na psychiatrię dziecięcą.

Chodziło mi o miejsca takie jak to: https://fundacja-akme.pl/srodowisko...ieszkancow-gmin-buk-i-steszew-w-niepruszewie/

 

[Cirno]

Chodziło mi o miejsca takie jak to: https://fundacja-akme.pl/srodowisko...ieszkancow-gmin-buk-i-steszew-w-niepruszewie/

Fajnie wiedzieć że istnieją takie inicjatywy. Z tego co wyszukałam niestety w mojej okolicy nie ma tego typu miejsca. Mimo to dziękuję za chęć pomocy.

 

[nuva]

bro, SAME
I agree with every word, you're not alone in this