How's everyone's day going?

[Donewith_]

My day is the usual.. just like any other day. How is your day going ? @Circles
hey @Weeping Garbage Can hope your day is going well too

 

[Circles]

My day is the usual.. just like any other day. How is your day going ? @Circles
hey @Weeping Garbage Can hope your day is going well too

Heyyy @Donewith_ How does your usual day go? Hope it's been more or less tolerable. Mines going alright it's night time here and I've stayed up too long lol. I'm half-ass watching a history documentary, smoking and chatting with my peeps. Have you eaten any breakfast yet? Hugs btw.

 

[Weeping Garbage Can]

@Donewith_ Oh hi, it's lovely to hear from you! Thank you :) Today was a usual day for me too. I hope you've been able to rest? Is there anything pleasurable you're looking forward to/planning on treating yourself to later on?

 

[Donewith_]

Heyyy @Donewith_ How does your usual day go? Hope it's been more or less tolerable. Mines going alright it's night time here and I've stayed up too long lol. I'm half-ass watching a history documentary, smoking and chatting with my peeps. Have you eaten any breakfast yet? Hugs btw.

Usually, my days are bearable . I am neet so, i feel that there is nothing too important. I spend some of my time applying for some exams, preparing, and I spend good amount of time here and on reddit.. i go out rarely. There are some kids in our neighbourhood..they come sometimes, I spend some time with them .. and with my over-thinking, and writing things down. That is it.. this is how my day goes more or less. Thanks for asking . Its noon here.. just had lunch.
Have good sleep. Hugs

@Donewith_ Oh hi, it's lovely to hear from you! Thank you :) Today was a usual day for me too. I hope you've been able to rest? Is there anything pleasurable you're looking forward to/planning on treating yourself to later on?

My days are going ok. Honestly, I am just as clueless the way I was before and just pushing each day back. but, thankyou for wishing me good. Hope some good things come your way )

 

[Weeping Garbage Can]

My days are going ok. Honestly, I am just as clueless the way I was before and just pushing each day back. but, thankyou for wishing me good. Hope some good things come your way )

I see, I highly recommend you remain gentle with yourself as the days pass by, especially when feeling clueless. Perhaps you could try to take things step by step, keeping yourself and your well-being in mind? Oh no problem :) I wish you all the best with all of your days, I hope they treat you with care <3 And thank you very much :)

 

[AhG]

Hi circ, I see you always like my stuff/everybody's and I just wanted to say that I'm really happy that you are coming out of your shell and that you are trying to be social. I'd say more proud actually, because it's hard for some people to come out of their shell. Happy for you!

 

[Circles]

Hi circ, I see you always like my stuff/everybody's and I just wanted to say that I'm really happy that you are coming out of your shell and that you are trying to be social. I'd say more proud actually, because it's hard for some people to come out of their shell. Happy for you!

Thank You so so much for the encouragement and support @AhG. I'm about to fall asleep but I want Thank everyone in this thread for helping me get through another lonely night, I truly appreciate it. Have a good day and night, see you around when I get up. Hugs.

 

[blanketyblk]

So home from therapy session, feel a little bit better about myself. And even went to another pub and had dinner on my own. I just sat there and read my book was getting some weird stares from people. But kept to myself and kept my head down.

I did dread coming back into my empty house. So decided to pack my sleeping bag and going to go down to camping spot not too far from my place. Park the car and sleep in the back, haven't done that for years and years and year. Going to lie in the back and look at at the stars and dream.

Btw thanks everyone for your messages of support and mail message. They helped me thought today. no idea what was wrong with me. You're all are fantastic.. I swear better than my councillor.
See you all in the morning.

 

[SinisterKid]

Glad therapy went ok. Have a wonderful evening under the stars.

 

[wiIIow]

gotta say, this thread has a pretty refreshing atmosphere going.

I haven't been doing so hot. had my first psychotic break in a long time recently. i went from mostly neverending buzzing anxiety in the background with general numbness towards everything... to everything exploding and my brain is basically on fire.

I felt two distinct shifts: first one was at home, I was lying in bed after work, trying desperately to feel something from music (oddly enough listening to Shine On You Crazy Diamond, one of my favorite songs from the time I was a kid) and it worked for a second... but then everything went back to not only numbness, but I suddenly felt myself leave my body. I felt I was observing myself from a distance, and the noises from the music made no sense and felt overwhelming. I turned it off, I went to bed.

second time was at work, it started off as a manic episode. it was like my brain cranked up the saturation filter, music sounded full and rich again. This was only for a moment though, before descending into absolute terror and madness. it's been a hell of a ride through crazytown, distinguishing between reality and the shit my brain has been making up to fill in the spaces, trying to limp through my shifts at work. Even my body has felt totally alien, my head feels inflated, my limbs are too heavy. It has calmed down a little today... I'm still very sick and shouldn't be going to work but I've no choice.

It doesn't help that in my desperation to leave the toxic call center, I overestimated myself and took a job that wound up being much more mechanical in nature than I thought it would be. I'm not mechanically inclined whatsoever, and I don't have the brain to learn this shit. makes me feel anxious and stupid especially in front of customers... I may have no choice but to flee back to the shitty call center for a while. I guess they desperately want me back, me leaving was evidently the catalyst for many changes so I hear it's a little better in some ways. Still...

I'm rambling at this point. I'm miserable as fuck, so exhausted and burnt out. wish this was a world where I could realistically just take the time to get back into art and work towards living off of it. That's what I'm meant to do, but it's a cycle of getting a job so i can afford a home and supplies for creative endeavors, never last long enough to quite get there, mental breakdown, rinse and repeat. I'm barely holding on. I had a very vivid ctb dream last night, that hasnt happened in a while

have a nice day folks. thanks if you managed to bear with me here, Im not in a position to know if I'm making any damn sense at all. peace

I was doing okay today but then got chewed out by my dad over Skype. We normally chat a bit daily and get on well but he had some criticisms aimed at me and my life which sort of pissed me off and threw me for a loop. He has no idea how bad I struggle with my various issues and symptoms. I tell my family all the time if I could put them in my mind and body for five minutes they'd run screaming for the hills. I just wish people would fuck off if they're not going to be supportive. Maybe that's not fair of me but I have no desire for any more ugliness at this stage of my life. I don't have the resilience or energy for it.

I'm sorry Angst, that really feels terrible. I know that feeling well, Ive even had that same thought very often... if any of you fuckers had to switch bodies for just a single day, they wouldn't last before begging me to get them out. Ive gotten to the point where I try not to judge though, for example my father has sorta tried to understand but I think a lot of people just can't understand something they haven't experienced. it's too alien to them. I don't talk to my dad about my mental illness anymore, because it's a pointless conversation that just leads to frustration on both ends. still sucks feeling like a massive disappointment to him, I don't even bother telling him when I get a new job anymore because it's embarrassing.

 

[ExitTheDay]

Just having a "normal" day as usual, there is nothing in my life that's worth looking forward to but I'm used to that but now

 

[Scribble Fan]

Paranoia and anxiety are having a fun dinner date eating my soul away. I hope you're doing better, haha.

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

No a girl, I really have a hard time not trying to squeeze her cause of how cute she is lol. Hope your night going well, has the feelings lessened? Anything for dinner?

Still cute! I squeeze hazel (not hard) Nd kiss her tummy a lot lol and im currently at work wasting time in the bathroom (lol) i had made macoroni and porckchops for dinner how about yourself? And the feelings are always there. Im used to it but dont like it.

 

[PBis]

have a nice day folks. thanks if you managed to bear with me here, Im not in a position to know if I'm making any damn sense at all.

So much it's rather amazing (I only know psychosis from the outside, call centers from the inside). Wishing you all the best.

 

[Circles]

Dropping by to say hey again hoping the distraction helps, but the looming darkness is coming back. Anyone feeling the same? I'm trying to mellow it out with breathing deeply and smoking but damn. Now I have to repeat to myself 'Not today, Go away.' Pathetic I suppose. Thanks for listening btw.

 

[inconsequential]

Dropping by to say hey again hoping the distraction helps, but the looming darkness is coming back. Anyone feeling the same? I'm trying to mellow it out with breathing deeply and smoking but damn. Now I have to repeat to myself 'Not today, Go away.' Pathetic I suppose. Thanks for listening btw.

It's coming back for me too. I thought I'd shaken it for a few weeks (not entirely, but, you know), and it occurred to me yesterday that I felt as if my personal black cloud is once again hovering above.

Hugs to you.

 

[Circles]

It's coming back for me too. I thought I'd shaken it for a few weeks (not entirely, but, you know), and it occurred to me yesterday that I felt as if my personal black cloud is once again hovering above.

Hugs to you.

It's just so fucked up how we're on this little rock in a vast nothingness and yet there's so much shit happening. So many people going through the same thing it's too much. I want to care but the magnitude of it all makes me feel numb and apathetic. Like wtf can we even do? I can't do shit about anything. It's all chaos and I'm trying to find something, anything, to hold on to.

 

[SinisterKid]

If nothing else my friend, we all have each other. Its not much I know, but its better than the complete isolation I felt before i found this place. So hold on to that and just refuse to let go and lets see how far it can take us.

 

[Circles]

If nothing else my friend, we all have each other. Its not much I know, but its better than the complete isolation I felt before i found this place. So hold on to that and just refuse to let go and lets see how far it can take us.

Thank you for the encouragement atleast. It's hard putting things in perspective but we're able to have an outlet whereas many don't. I'm finally a bit mellowed out now and stable after smoking. I'll try to but the loneliness and self-loathing just gets deeper as time passes.

 

[SinisterKid]

I dont know if you have ever done WRAP at all. Its very personal and unique to the individual. Ever been involved at all?

 

[blanketyblk]

Dropping by to say hey again hoping the distraction helps, but the looming darkness is coming back. Anyone feeling the same? I'm trying to mellow it out with breathing deeply and smoking but damn. Now I have to repeat to myself 'Not today, Go away.' Pathetic I suppose. Thanks for listening btw.

Circles. Your one of the nicest people Ii have seen on this site. Always able to make people smile or feel better about themselves. I can't do much. but i believe in ya I'm sure you can find your way out of the darkness.

So last night was good. Slept OK until about 2am when the police rocked up. They left me alone after having a chat. It was bloody freezing though *35f*.

I feel a lot better about today, so going to go to the markets and have a wonder around and then go to a pub and spent the day reading a book in front of a fire.

 

[Circles]

I dont know if you have ever done WRAP at all. Its very personal and unique to the individual. Ever been involved at all?

Never heard of it, may I ask what it's about?

Circles. Your one of the nicest people Ii have seen on this site. Always able to make people smile or feel better about themselves. I can't do much. but i believe in ya I'm sure you can find your way out of the darkness.

So last night was good. Slept OK until about 2am when the police rocked up. They left me alone after having a chat. It was bloody freezing though *35f*.

I feel a lot better about today, so going to go to the markets and have a wonder around and then go to a pub and spent the day reading a book in front of a fire.

Thank You for your kind words. I'm glad you had a much easier day. May I ask what you're reading? That's something I've been meaning to do again is making and sitting around a fire as it's somewhat calming, wouldn't hurt to smoke too hehe.

 

[SinisterKid]

WRAP [Wellness Recovery Action Plan] is unique to you. It is about looking at the symptoms of what affects you and only you. Its not generic. You compile a list of how you feel, when you feel it and what it does to you. Then you begin to look at ways in which you could counter the symptoms when they occur. The first one I did was almost impossible as I am not good at assessing myself, but with a little help, it got easier.

Now I have a real list of the things that affect me and what I can do to stop them controlling me in ways that are completely detrimental to my wellbeing, physical and mental. It does not work all the time, but it has helped me fight off negative emotions and feelings.

I know if I dont eat, then I tend to "feel" more depressed than if I eat regular meals. So I try to make sure I eat properly. if I dont take my meds by a certain time of day, I tend to get very very tired, so I have a medipack that has my meds in time slots so I remember to take them when I should. If I am having a bad day emotionally, dont listen to music as it has a adverse effect of making me feel worse, which can lead to a very bad place for me.

I am sure you get the gist of it.

 

[blanketyblk]

Thank You for your kind words. I'm glad you had a much easier day. May I ask what you're reading? That's something I've been meaning to do again is making and sitting around a fire as it's somewhat calming, wouldn't hurt to smoke too hehe.

I'm jumping between two books at the moment. my Councillor gave me 'How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety' just starting on it now. this is a part of her long term goals for me to try and start liking myself better. will see how it goes.

The other one. is a bit of a weird online novel. called 'Mother of learning' it's about magic and time travel. - https://www.fictionpress.com/s/2961893/1/Mother-of-Learning

 

[Egddios]

Just took my night meds and smoked a bit, sleep is all I really look forward to lately. I read a lot today but didn't do the "homework" my psychiatrist gave me to do. I'm supposed to make a list each day of the things I appreciate or live for. I want to laugh even writing that, not that I don't appreciate anyone or anything anymore, it's just I want this to be over already. Every day feels so heavy. Just want to be free from this pain.

Hugs @Circles and to all of you.

 

[Circles]

Just took my night meds and smoked a bit, sleep is all I really look forward to lately. I read a lot today but didn't do the "homework" my psychiatrist gave me to do. I'm supposed to make a list each day of the things I appreciate or live for. I want to laugh even writing that, not that I don't appreciate anyone or anything anymore, it's just I want this to be over already. Every day feels so heavy. Just want to be free from this pain.

Hugs @Circles and to all of you.

I feel you, I'm probably going to take my muscle relaxers and clonazapam to pass tf out for a day, hopefully two. I'm sorry you're experiencing the same darkness friend. It seems such a conundrum for me I want to be free but the only way to be truly 'free' in all sense of the word Is to be dead. Now I'm getting the munchies, I'm going to go get a burrito brb.

 

[LifeIsNotFun]

Just laying in bed waiting for my N to come here.

 

[Egddios]

I feel you, I'm probably going to take my muscle relaxers and clonazapam to pass tf out for a day, hopefully two. I'm sorry you're experiencing the same darkness friend. It seems such a conundrum for me I want to be free but the only way to be truly 'free' in all sense of the word Is to be dead. Now I'm getting the munchies, I'm going to go get a burrito brb.

Enjoy that burrito :)

 

[Skathon]

Felt the approaching diabetic coma again, which was rather close this time. The events today have been rather amusing, I mean.

 

[Midnight]

All i want to say is i admire your kindness and effort to talk to people here. Even if ever so slightly it brings comfort to people getting a like on their post or having a reply to their post or question about how they are doing. You are a kind soul and it's a sad thing you are here of all places for obvious reasons.

Take care. Wish you well.