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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,345
I am about to cry my eyes out. Had love delusions the whole day. Realized I was delusional at the evening and noticed the people in my self-help group look at me down. Because I am weird, insane and/or a loser.

This song really touches something inside myself. I cannot relate to every statement/description in that song but the way it is shouted damn you can feel the pain. But I am not good at judging music.

I feel so fucking ashamed because of that in the self-help hroup. It is gut-wrenching and I feel like throwing up. I wanna kill myself so badly.



Thanks to the forum for being there for me.
 
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TransilvanianHunger

TransilvanianHunger

Grave with a view...
Jan 22, 2023
358
Not my style of music, if I'm being completely honest, but I think the most important aspect of "judging music", beyond any stylistic or technical merit, is whether or not it resonates with you and makes you feel something. Any other considerations aren't desperately interesting outside of a theoretical or technical discussion. I know you're not into the writings of my boy Schopenhauer, but he believed that listening to music and feeling it was one of the few true pleasures in life, and it allowed us a glimpse of transcendental beauty and joy.

I'm sorry that you've had such a rough day, especially in a setting that is supposed to be beneficial for you. I only know you through your activity here, but you don't strike me as weird, insane, and/or a loser. I mean, maybe a bit "weird" by the mainstream definition, but I don't find that something to be ashamed of. All the interesting people I've encountered are "weird" in some way or another. To quote Huxley:
The real hopeless victims of mental illness are to be found among those who appear to be most normal. Many of them are normal because they are so well adjusted to our mode of existence, because their human voice has been silenced so early in their lives that they do not even struggle or suffer or develop symptoms as the neurotic does. They are normal not in what may be called the absolute sense of the word; they are normal only in relation to a profoundly abnormal society. Their perfect adjustment to that abnormal society is a measure of their mental sickness. These millions of abnormally normal people, living without fuss in a society to which, if they were fully human beings, they ought not to be adjusted.
 
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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,345
Not my style of music, if I'm being completely honest, but I think the most important aspect of "judging music", beyond any stylistic or technical merit, is whether or not it resonates with you and makes you feel something. Any other considerations aren't desperately interesting outside of a theoretical or technical discussion. I know you're not into the writings of my boy Schopenhauer, but he believed that listening to music and feeling it was one of the few true pleasures in life, and it allowed us a glimpse of transcendental beauty and joy.

I'm sorry that you've had such a rough day, especially in a setting that is supposed to be beneficial for you. I only know you through your activity here, but you don't strike me as weird, insane, and/or a loser. I mean, maybe a bit "weird" by the mainstream definition, but I don't find that something to be ashamed of. All the interesting people I've encountered are "weird" in some way or another. To quote Huxley:
Thank you very much for this reply. It helps me trying not to cry myself to sleep this night. Hopefully.
 
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TransilvanianHunger

TransilvanianHunger

Grave with a view...
Jan 22, 2023
358
Thank you very much for this reply. It helps me trying not to cry myself to sleep this night. Hopefully.
There is also no shame in crying, if that is what you're feeling. It's a way to manifest and process the things that are causing us emotional pain or suffering. You are human, and you shouldn't be ashamed of feeling human emotions. It's definitely a better option than trying to bottle up the emotions because, eventually, everything must be dealt with in one way or another. A suppressed emotion is like that forgotten slice of pizza in the back of the fridge—if you don't deal with it promptly by eating it or discarding it, you'll have to deal with it later, once it's covered in mould and your whole fridge stinks.
 
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