How will you spend your last day?

[noalarms]

People often ask the question "If you had one day left to live how would you spend it?"

Considering that many of us in this forum are in fact in this situation, have any of you thought about how what you will do on the day that you CTB?

I think I will probably watch a movie that might make me feel nostalgia, look at photo albums, and put together a playlist. I want to feel calm when I go, but I also want to be determined so I won't back out at the last minute.

I think how one spends their final hours will determine whether or not they complete their attempt. I will probably right a note. Not for my family or friends, but just for myself, just to lay out the reasons for my decision.

How about you?

 

[flightless bird]

I'm planning to do it in nature, far away from the human realm.

I'll probably sit under a tree and think for hours.

 

[Hope:-)]

Arrange my letters, put a sign on the door as well as signs in my bedroom to remind me not to call for help and to persevere. Doing things like making sure the windows are closed. Praying..literally... that I will be able to do it, that it won't hurt too much, that I won't call for help and that it will be fatal. Don't fancy being revived in an ambulance/hospital. I've heard a number of people saying the treatment after is more painful than the actual act. I'm attempting sn btw. Chatting to people on here during the few hopefully final days. Having a final cup of tea and biscuits in the morning, maybe a few crisps and then start fast. Being as off my nut as I can be on benzos, listening to music, maybe watching a bit of Seinfeld. Stuff like that xx

 

[Fktw0rld]

Well, if my life was a movie I guess speeding around the city, robbing banks, drinking heavily, partying, having sex with 1000 people then at the end of the day dropping my huge duffel bag of bank robbery money off at the children's hospital and local cancer hospital for all the patients and families that can't afford their treatments.

But in real life, most likely sitting around my house, flipping through my phone to take my mind of things, fasting, taking beta blockers and antiemetics according to the schedule. Nervous, dreading everything, then eventually initiating and completing the final task.

 

[noalarms]

I'm planning to do it in nature, far away from the human realm.

I'll probably sit under a tree and think for hours.

That sounds perfect. When I actually ctb, it will be in a secluded rural area.

Well, if my life was a movie I guess speeding around the city, robbing banks, drinking heavily, partying, having sex with 1000 people then at the end of the day dropping my huge duffel bag of bank robbery money off at the children's hospital and local cancer hospital for all the patients and families that can't afford their treatments.

But in real life, most likely sitting around my house, flipping through my phone to take my mind of things, fasting, taking beta blockers and antiemetics according to the schedule. Nervous, dreading everything, then eventually initiating and completing the final task.

Do you plan to do anything to help you get in the right mindset i.e. selling possesions, writing down reasons for ctb etc.?

Arrange my letters, put a sign on the door as well as signs in my bedroom to remind me not to call for help and to persevere. Doing things like making sure the windows are closed. Praying..literally... that I will be able to do it, that it won't hurt too much, that I won't call for help and that it will be fatal. Don't fancy being revived in an ambulance/hospital. I've heard a number of people saying the treatment after is more painful than the actual act. I'm attempting sn btw. Chatting to people on here during the few hopefully final days. Having a final cup of tea and biscuits in the morning, maybe a few crisps and then start fast. Being as off my nut as I can be on benzos, listening to music, maybe watching a bit of Seinfeld. Stuff like that xx

That sounds nice, I hope you have success with SN, it is hard to acquire in my country so I have chosen a different method.

 

[again_noidea]

i guess high on some opiates

 

[noalarms]

i guess high on some opiates

That would be the best way to ctb in my opinion, it sucks that getting non-street opiates is difficult outside of the U.S

 

[again_noidea]

That would be the best way to ctb in my opinion, it sucks that getting non-street opiates is difficult outside of the U.S

well, in most countries there is a way to get some... don't be afraid, those addicts are often nice people, even though most of they would steal your money, if given a chance. the probably gladly bring you some if you are willing to pay more than usual, because then they can get some for themselves without paying. just ask them, but don't give them any money before they bring you what you want.

 

[noalarms]

well, in most countries there is a way to get some... don't be afraid, those addicts are often nice people, even though most of they would steal your money, if given a chance. the probably gladly bring you some if you are willing to pay more than usual, because then they can get some for themselves without paying. just ask them, but don't give them any money before they bring you what you want.

Buying heroin from an addict seems risky to me, there is always the chance that it is impure.

 

[AliceTheGoon]

Whenever I think it's coming I clean my toilets and microwave, make the bed, run the dishwasher and clean the crumbs off the coffee table. I also put my list of contacts and bank accounts somewhere findable but not too obvious.

Anyway I wonder what the world would be like if there was a giant moon-sized asteroid on a collision course with earth and it was going to be everyone's last day. We'd know pretty far in advance this was coming, what the heck would people be doing? Would services still be available? Would enough people be going to work to run society? Now I think I'd just sit and think 'thank god what great timing, I didn't have to choke down SN'. Before I fell ill I would have taken my guitar and guns and driven out to my friend's ranch to wait it out with his family and friends. Pretty much the same plan I had for the zombie apocalypse. I miss those days.

 

[noalarms]

Whenever I think it's coming I clean my toilets and microwave, make the bed, run the dishwasher and clean the crumbs off the coffee table. I also put my list of contacts and bank accounts somewhere findable but not too obvious.

Anyway I wonder what the world would be like if there was a giant moon-sized asteroid on a collision course with earth and it was going to be everyone's last day. We'd know pretty far in advance this was coming, what the heck would people be doing? Would services still be available? Would enough people be going to work to run society? Now I think I'd just sit and think 'thank god what great timing, I didn't have to choke down SN'. Before I fell ill I would have taken my guitar and guns and driven out to my friend's ranch to wait it out with his family and friends. Pretty much the same plan I had for the zombie apocalypse. I miss those days.

You have guns? Is that your chosen method?

 

[Al0neAlwayz]

Whenever I think it's coming I clean my toilets and microwave, make the bed, run the dishwasher and clean the crumbs off the coffee table. I also put my list of contacts and bank accounts somewhere findable but not too obvious.

Anyway I wonder what the world would be like if there was a giant moon-sized asteroid on a collision course with earth and it was going to be everyone's last day. We'd know pretty far in advance this was coming, what the heck would people be doing? Would services still be available? Would enough people be going to work to run society? Now I think I'd just sit and think 'thank god what great timing, I didn't have to choke down SN'. Before I fell ill I would have taken my guitar and guns and driven out to my friend's ranch to wait it out with his family and friends. Pretty much the same plan I had for the zombie apocalypse. I miss those days.

I often watch The Walking Dead and kinda wish it was really happening...lol. I guess just further proof I'm not right in the head. At least I would be free from house arrest, LMAO.

 

[FuneralCry]

There is not much that I would particularly want to do, apart from making sure that the method would succeed. All my focus would be on the method and I would be unable to think about much else.
I'm tired of everything in this world and nothing apart from the thought of being dead brings me much peace or comfort. My life does feel very empty and if one was capable of missing anything after death, there isn't much at all that I would miss. Maybe if I had a more peaceful method I would feel more relaxed about the process of dying and just feel glad that it's all coming to an end.

 

[noalarms]

There is not much that I would particularly want to do, apart from making sure that the method would succeed. All my focus would be on the method and I would be unable to think about much else.
I'm tired of everything in this world and nothing apart from the thought of being dead brings me much peace or comfort. My life does feel very empty and if one was capable of missing anything after death, there isn't much at all that I would miss. Maybe if I had a more peaceful method I would feel more relaxed about the process of dying and just feel glad that it's all coming to an end.

What is your method?

 

[FuneralCry]

What is your method?

The methods that I think about a lot are hanging and drowning as they are the most easily accessible methods for me yet they both sound horrible and difficult which is the reason as to why I'm still here. However, eventually I will have to find a way to leave when life inevitably gets more unbearable for me, no matter what.

 

[noalarms]

The methods that I think about a lot are hanging and drowning as they are the most easily accessible methods for me yet they both sound horrible and difficult which is the reason as to why I'm still here. However, eventually I will have to find a way to leave when life inevitably gets more unbearable for me, no matter what.

Drowning sounds like an awful way to go. How would you keeep yourself below the water?

 

[FuneralCry]

Drowning sounds like an awful way to go. How would you keeep yourself below the water?

I don't even know, I think the reason as to why that method is so difficult is because the SI would prevent someone from staying underwater. I think that most people who die by drowning die in accidents rather than purposely trying to die.

 

[takemetooblivion]

I'm planning to do it in nature, far away from the human realm.

I'll probably sit under a tree and think for hours.

I'd like to jump into mount mihara like kiyoko matsumoto in 1933. Or maybe some other peak where I can reflect on my every thought, action, and the world around me before I do it. I would almost consider myself a Misanthrope, but I don't want to hate the world. Theres just no other option because its terrible. That place would feel far away from the human realm but close enough to remind me why I am going to do it.

 

[NoLightRemains]

Eat a nice final meal the day before, start a 24 hour metoclopramide regiment. Wake up around 1 or 2 next day. Maybe have a light snack, maybe I'll just continue my fast. Get to the hotel around around 4. Set up my comfort objects around the room, send off my scheduled emails. Get high off cannabis like I usually do, and try to keep my mind occupied with my laptop/phone. Then as time gets closer to meds/SN, fight the urge to call for help and message my partner.

 

[klonoaencore]

Either doing nothing or some hook up from grindr lol. Maybe I should buy pizza? Idk, i am vegan and I miss cheese...

 

[AliceTheGoon]

You have guns? Is that your chosen method?

Yes I have guns but that isn't specifically my plan.

 

[noalarms]

Either doing nothing or some hook up from grindr lol. Maybe I should buy pizza? Idk, i am vegan and I miss cheese...

I'm sure you could have cheese just once... considering that it's your last day on earth haha

 

[NoLightRemains]

Either doing nothing or some hook up from grindr lol. Maybe I should buy pizza? Idk, i am vegan and I miss cheese...

Funny you say that, I am vegan also and was planning on a vegan pizza as my last meal.

 

[spectraltease]

People often ask the question "If you had one day left to live how would you spend it?"

Considering that many of us in this forum are in fact in this situation, have any of you thought about how what you will do on the day that you CTB?

I think I will probably watch a movie that might make me feel nostalgia, look at photo albums, and put together a playlist. I want to feel calm when I go, but I also want to be determined so I won't back out at the last minute.

I think how one spends their final hours will determine whether or not they complete their attempt. I will probably right a note. Not for my family or friends, but just for myself, just to lay out the reasons for my decision.

How about you?

think I will get up not early but not late and go showering. I do my skincare and brush my teeth. Calling my doc, tell him I have to stay at home because im sick. make a nice breakfast. Maybe eggs, bacon and toast, I always loved this brakefast. I will spend it very normal. Just wait to die actually. If the time has come, go to the place with my things. Then just wait in the woods near the tracks, chilling there for a h or a half h and than make my final post, plug in my airpods and than die. Happy end.

 

[noalarms]

think I will get up not early but not late and go showering. I do my skincare and brush my teeth. Calling my doc, tell him I have to stay at home because im sick. make a nice breakfast. Maybe eggs, bacon and toast, I always loved this brakefast. I will spend it very normal. Just wait to die actually. If the time has come, go to the place with my things. Then just wait in the woods near the tracks, chilling there for a h or a half h and than make my final post, plug in my airpods and than die. Happy end.

I wish you the best of luck when the time comes for you.

 

[outrider567]

Don't see myself doing anything, aside from being in a thoughtful but ultimately confused stupor all day on why she's not here anymore, and what might I could of done.....useless random thoughts...

 

[lionetta12]

People often ask the question "If you had one day left to live how would you spend it?"

Considering that many of us in this forum are in fact in this situation, have any of you thought about how what you will do on the day that you CTB?

I think I will probably watch a movie that might make me feel nostalgia, look at photo albums, and put together a playlist. I want to feel calm when I go, but I also want to be determined so I won't back out at the last minute.

I think how one spends their final hours will determine whether or not they complete their attempt. I will probably right a note. Not for my family or friends, but just for myself, just to lay out the reasons for my decision.

How about you?

As nothing give me joy, I have literally no idea. I try to think of what used to be my favourite things to do, favourite food to eat and favourite drinks to consume. Thinking about it, none of it is appealling anymore and I don't see a point in experiencing or consuming any of it on the last day.

 

[SaylorTwift]

I don't care about anything anymore. I'll probably do nothing on my last day, just like every other day. The absolute last thing I will do before I CTB is listen to a playlist of my favorite music. Music was the most important thing to me when I still felt like a person.

 

[EroicaB]

Listen to music. Find a place that I'm alone but easy to find.

 

[tary]

Listen to music and eat like a king. Stay up past midnight and then go out and do it.