I was quite literally bullied through every single part. in preschool a boy used to hit me with toys and my teachers would mock me. in primary people would make fun of me constantly and I remember one girl even pulled the hood of my coat backwards and choked me a little. in secondary it was horrible. I was constantly made fun of by everyone, even people I thought were friends. and I just let it happen because I didnt want to look alone, but I hated them I got so angry inside around them. they just kept me around to make fun of me. in college same thing happened, I was the punching bag and these girls would be so condescending towards me that I dropped out. I didnt even last 5 months. then when I chose sixth form instead people were more mature, but they still laughed at me. even my fucking teachers gossiped about me, I grew to resent them so much I would think about hurting them and I skipped their lessons because being near them pissed me off so much. I dont understand what is so wrong with me. why am I such an easy target.
majority of the mornings before school I would cry as I got dressed. I never wanted to go ever. it was so bad sometimes I wouldn't be able to stop myself from crying as I walked out the house and my mother, who never cares about me, would let me stay home. I almost dropped out of sixth form multiple times and the only reason I got through it was because I got to spend my free time alone, and I sat alone in the back of the classrooms. I just put my head down and did the bare minimum, I never stuck around more than I had to or could get away with. but even that was unbearable, I would break down in the toilets constantly. I couldnt even fathom going to university. if I have to endure any more of that, it will absolutely push me to the edge