• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
W

wasteodwords

Member
May 9, 2024
8
While I'm in the process of researching what method is best for me I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to follow through with it. I've tried so many different times and so many different ways in the past, but I'm too much of a bitch to follow through with it. Honestly it's kinda fitting I can't even succeed at killing myself. Any suggestions?
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: etherealspring, annxietty, marchshift and 3 others
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
13,370
You're not a coward. Living is difficult dying is even more difficult. When you're ready to leave you will find the strength you need to overcome SI and to do it. In other words when you're in total desperation and hopelessness that also my help overcoming SI.
 
  • Like
Reactions: lnlybnny, marchshift, mexican_patty and 1 other person
feverinjection

feverinjection

sacrifice
May 8, 2024
18
I promise it has nothing to do with being a coward. It's just science, it's your body's natural reaction. It's something that takes a lot of breaking down to get used to.

With that being said, I think when your time actually comes, you won't feel as scared. I like to think of it as part of fate. It's really not your fault.
 
  • Like
Reactions: mexican_patty
W

wasteodwords

Member
May 9, 2024
8
I don't understand why my body isn't cooperating when there's nothing to keep living for. I've already made peace with that fact.
 
D

DeletedAccount0864

Student
Dec 17, 2023
199
Not CTB is not "being a coward".

Everyone has their own time. If you don't have a firm desire to CTB, it's not yours. Nobody here will convince you to do this.
 
W

wasteodwords

Member
May 9, 2024
8
Not CTB is not "being a coward".

Everyone has their own time. If you don't have a firm desire to CTB, it's not yours. Nobody here will convince you to do this.
I've definitely decided to do it. If anything I think I'm more worried about what would happen if I fail.
 
  • Like
Reactions: pthnrdnojvsc and divinemistress87
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,192
I find it terrible and cruel how it's so unnecessarily difficult to die, people should simply have the option to die in a painless way without any risks or complications, I'd also fear trying to die going wrong and leading to worse suffering. But anyway I hope that you eventually find what you search for, I understand that it's dreadful feeling trapped in this existence.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Hotsackage
DEATH IS FREEDOM

DEATH IS FREEDOM

Death is the solution to unsolvable problems.
Sep 13, 2023
606
Soldiers and terrorists are trained to overcome the fear of death by exposing themselves to danger. Nothing can be accomplished without courage. Anyone can be brave.
 
  • Like
Reactions: samarra, pthnrdnojvsc, divinemistress87 and 1 other person
L

LaughingGoat

Mage
Apr 11, 2024
589
I don't understand why my body isn't cooperating when there's nothing to keep living for. I've already made peace with that fact.
I've definitely decided to do it. If anything I think I'm more worried about what would happen if I fail.
It's your brain that's not cooperating because there is a part of you that is holding onto something still, whether that is solely the fear of failing or something more that you aren't aware of. Choosing a method that has a near impossible chance of failure may help, but if the hesitation is due to more than that, then that won't be enough.
 
  • Like
Reactions: pthnrdnojvsc and divinemistress87
W

wasteodwords

Member
May 9, 2024
8
It's your brain that's not cooperating because there is a part of you that is holding onto something still, whether that is solely the fear of failing or something more that you aren't aware of. Choosing a method that has a near impossible chance of failure may help, but if the hesitation is due to more than that, then that won't be enough.
I definitely think finding something "reliable"is my main hurdle right now. Hopefully if I can convince myself there's no risk of failing then I should be able to take care of it soon.
 
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress87 and pthnrdnojvsc
L

LaughingGoat

Mage
Apr 11, 2024
589
I definitely think finding something "reliable"is my main hurdle right now. Hopefully if I can convince myself there's no risk of failing then I should be able to take care of it soon.
In that case, getting your hands on a shotgun would be your best bet. As long as you follow the resources here on setting it up properly, the risk of failure is as non-existent as it gets.
 
  • Like
Reactions: wasteodwords and pthnrdnojvsc
U

UKscotty

Doesn't read PMs
May 20, 2021
2,445
You are not a coward for carrying on. We only CTB once all hope is gone and we are truly ready.

There are no shortcuts or guides. It is the last resort for a reason.

People will say all sorts of nonsense but the reality is no one is ready until the act.
 
K

kudaphillips

Student
Apr 17, 2024
178
I'm in the same exact boat. I'm so desperate to ctb but really haven't gotten to close . I have every type of firearm , all the inert gas rigs , supposed pentobarbital ( need to test it but don't know how, exit int tests are garbage ). People say " well your just not ready ". I'm fucking ready , been ready for 10 years .
I think since life has gone insanely ridiculously wrong , I don't trust that ctb will go well. Even if I succeed and die , I'll probably have my soul captured by dark entity or something , this adds uncertainty. Not to mention the insanely pussy SI that I seem to have .
Shotgun 00 buckshot , in back of my mouth , I know it's game over . Can't fucking do it .
Inert gas rig, I get drenched with sweat within first 10 seconds and pull the bag off.

Oh well, back to another day of smashing my face with a monkey wrench in my chair , only got like 50 more years to go
 
Last edited:

Similar threads

Liebestod
Replies
2
Views
259
Suicide Discussion
Matchaaa
Matchaaa
annxietty
Replies
2
Views
283
Suicide Discussion
freeanxiety
F
H
Replies
5
Views
359
Suicide Discussion
Forveleth
F
S
Replies
5
Views
526
Suicide Discussion
yesi
Y
loslassen
Replies
6
Views
549
Suicide Discussion
loslassen
loslassen