Okay, so I have a ballpark date for when I'll ctb, nothing concrete, though. I was wondering if anybody knows how you stop SI/ panic response? That's really the only thing keeping me here, that and too many distractions/ intertuptions
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Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,398
Willpower. Contrary to the prevailing stupid opinion, suicide is not for sissies.
Yeah but like, how? Do I meditate first? Get high/ drunk? Take a pill (which I can't afford anyway)? Cause you add severe anxiety to a strong SI and... well
Lilacmoon
Beautiful moon, take me away.
- Sep 23, 2020
- 1,308
I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I believe once you're absolutely ready you'll be able to overcome it. That's what I am hoping for for me.
Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,398
Those things can work, but it's ultimately a choice you make when the suffering of life gets to be too much. The flames of life will push you to seek death if the flames are hot enough.
When living is scarier than dying it won't be an issue.
hoping to lose hope
<3 Message me to trade music <3
- Nov 14, 2020
- 848
VtubersAreMyLife
Member
- Nov 26, 2020
- 45
Sadly its pretty much mental. Even when I practice hanging (only method I have right now) and I know I wont actually do it yet, my SI kicks in and it makes sure I don't commit to the deed, as if my body and mind doesn't want to die, even if I really want to do it. It kind of sucks that SI makes you feel like a coward sometimes.
SI is a bitch. ...if not there would have been many more suicides... At least I would no longer be here
muffin222
Enlightened
- Mar 31, 2020
- 1,187
I think that when we're truly ready to die, SI won't paralyze us from taking action. Some people get upset when I say that, but I believe it's true. When the pain of living far surpasses the joy, then SI alone won't be enough to stop you.
yetme
Arcanist
- Oct 20, 2019
- 486
i work on it as a project. Got the rope, learnt to tie the knot, researched how to best fall...somehow it feels good to have all those small steps successfully planned. But i will take a bunch of pills when i do it to calm my nerves, so the many rehearsals will hopefully help to go on auto-pilot
Damn right. I hate it when people say that suicide is committed by those who gave up and were cowards. I believe, like you said, that the total opposite is true. It takes some big balls to ctb.
not always... sometimes i hurt myself just to make the pain of living more manageable.. but then SI... my body is programmed to live and fight for life no matter how shitty that life is
muffin222
Enlightened
- Mar 31, 2020
- 1,187
I agree that we're programmed to survive and fight, but that doesn't change the fact that almost a million people commit suicide every year. I don't say this to shame anyone for not being able to ctb (hell, I've been a member here almost a year now!), I just feel like suicide isn't really as complicated as we make it out to be on here.
I feel like the concept of survival instinct and its role in ctb is massively over-emphasized on here. The people who are dead-set on ctb do it; the numbers don't lie.
A lot of these ctbs are likely impulsive acts, but even so, they manage to override their instincts and go through with it. I personally believe most of us on SS are either in limbo, too scared, or still uncertain on some level, all of which are 100% normal reactions to an irreversible decision like death. I don't think it's survival instinct itself that hinders us. But, that's just my very unpopular opinion on the matter.
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