not always... sometimes i hurt myself just to make the pain of living more manageable.. but then SI... my body is programmed to live and fight for life no matter how shitty that life is
I agree that we're programmed to survive and fight, but that doesn't change the fact that almost a million people commit suicide every year. I don't say this to shame anyone for not being able to ctb (hell, I've been a member here almost a year now!), I just feel like suicide isn't really as complicated as we make it out to be on here.
I feel like the concept of survival instinct and its role in ctb is massively over-emphasized on here. The people who are dead-set on ctb do it; the numbers don't lie.
A lot of these ctbs are likely impulsive acts, but even so, they manage to override their instincts and go through with it. I personally believe most of us on SS are either in limbo, too scared, or still uncertain on some level, all of which are 100% normal reactions to an irreversible decision like death. I don't think it's survival instinct itself that hinders us. But, that's just my very unpopular opinion on the matter.