How to overcome perfectionist thinking?

[Autumn Blaze]

Hi, posting this thread because I've not yet found an answer that works for me from professionals: how do you get over perfectionist thinking?
I have a condition that has rewired by brain to think rigidly, and I have been beating myself up internally for about eight years by now. It's been very difficult as a result to just can the self hatred and thoughts that I'm not good enough, no matter how much I try.
It even weasels its way into my relationships in a way that's especially destructive because I always tend to set impossible standards for myself…

Any advice helps.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Does it put you off attempting to do things to begin with? You can see that as a bad symptom of it. I suppose also- focussing on the negative side effects of doing this to yourself. If it makes you act strangely in your relationship.

I eventually tackled limerence- which was an obsessive thought pattern- because I recognised it was doing me more harm than good.

I suppose practically speaking too- look at how this is affecting your life. I'm imagining with things like cleaning say- are you all or nothing with it? But then- does that make the environment either really good or, really bad?

Do you think you may have other underlying issues that cause this? OCD maybe? You could look at what's available to treat that.

I wasn't ever overly perfectionist but, I used to want my creative work to be better. I still do. But then- very often, there isn't the time or budget to attain the level I'm hoping for. I suppose what pushed me through it was knowing it was better to submit something not perfect rather than miss the deadline or quit all together.

 

[peacebenow]

DBT And CBT both can be helpful here.

 

[Autumn Blaze]

Does it put you off attempting to do things to begin with? You can see that as a bad symptom of it. I suppose also- focussing on the negative side effects of doing this to yourself. If it makes you act strangely in your relationship.

My creative work has a very slow output (3~ images / songs / whatever a month) because I get overly perfectionist about what I want the results to be looking like. Things have recovered a little because years ago when I was much more willing to CTB because of this urge to be perfect I straight up could not do anything, haha.
What fucks with me and how things tend to get caught in my relationships is I enter a loop of telling myself "I need to be perfect and the best person for them possible" and then that makes me do negative things and have negative thoughts, which in my brain gets registered as imperfect and then I beat myself up. Repeat that so many times and you get pretty big and painful urges.

Do you think you may have other underlying issues that cause this? OCD maybe? You could look at what's available to treat that.

Well I know there's one issue that makes this particularly hellish (Asperger's, Anxiety and PTSD holy trinity which makes it very very hard to deal,) so I've been trying to tackle this sorta stuff with DBT and all that stuff (thanks peacebenow for suggesting that, it's already on my radar though LOL.) Hasn't been particularly effective because I'll forget what I learned with coping strategies and have to go back and that pisses me the fuck off that I keep ending up in the treatment room for all my issues because they continue to be recurrent.

 

[explosiveKai99]

Any advice helps.

I think doing things badly on purpose could help.
You will never be good at something if you don't do it, and if you do it a lot, you will naturally become better over time and also your barriers will be torn down.

So try to produce some crap. Put it inside a drawer or throw it out or burn it so nobody can see it, doesn't matter. You have to force yourself to do it bad and it might hurt in the beggining.

 

[Insufficent]

For me perfectionist thinking is/was that if i make a mistake, i have to start all over again.
I somehow managed to re-think or realize that no one can finish anything ever if one mistake starts everything all over again.
Developed a somewhat working mindset that i just do everything half-assed just get them them done.
At work, so far the amount of complains haven't increased.
Managed to get full credits from a school course.