How to let my parents know it's not their fault?

[leaftomb]

I'm planning to CTB in a few months, gonna get some meds and overdose around the end of the year, but I'm scared of how I'm gonna leave my parents. Of course, I'm very much aware they will definitely be impacted by my decision, probably for quite some time too as I am their only child. I've already started drafts of my suicide note, trying to explain that it's no one's fault but mine, I'm so worried that they'll think I did it because of them. This might sound ridiculous and I apologize if it does, but is there anything I could write down to just ease the news a little? Anything any of you has mentioned and felt was important for their loved ones?

P.S. : This is my first time posting on here, I hope I am not breaking any rule but please let me know if I need to fix anything in my post.

 

[okuhvtuji]

I'm planning to CTB in a few months, gonna get some meds and overdose around the end of the year, but I'm scared of how I'm gonna leave my parents. Of course, I'm very much aware they will definitely be impacted by my decision, probably for quite some time too as I am their only child. I've already started drafts of my suicide note, trying to explain that it's no one's fault but mine, I'm so worried that they'll think I did it because of them. This might sound ridiculous and I apologize if it does, but is there anything I could write down to just ease the news a little? Anything any of you has mentioned and felt was important for their loved ones?

P.S. : This is my first time posting on here, I hope I am not breaking any rule but please let me know if I need to fix anything in my post.

I feel you. If you are not in a hurry you might consider spending time with them/giving them a small gift/telling them how much you love them IRL before ctb

 

[leaftomb]

I feel you. If you are not in a hurry you might consider spending time with them/giving them a small gift/telling them how much you love them IRL before ctb

that's probably the best thing i can do, and for some reason i didn't even think about the time i have left with them. thank you a lot

 

[okuhvtuji]

that's probably the best thing i can do, and for some reason i didn't even think about the time i have left with them. thank you a lot

I wish you the best. Also I know doctors suck, but I hope you considered therapy before opting to ctb.

 

[leaftomb]

I wish you the best. Also I know doctors suck, but I hope you considered therapy before opting to ctb.

thanks. and yeah, i've seen therapists a few years back, i've just always been unable to voice my issues so it was quite useless. i feel like going to therapy again would just make my relatives worry over something that is almost inevitable now. thanks for the suggestion tho, i appreciate it

 

[Traveller12724]

I am sorry you find yourself on these shores fellow traveler, they will still blame themselves but you may try something like "please understand that me leaving is not a reflection of you but my own inability to turn myself for the better."

 

[okuhvtuji]

thanks. and yeah, i've seen therapists a few years back, i've just always been unable to voice my issues so it was quite useless. i feel like going to therapy again would just make my relatives worry over something that is almost inevitable now. thanks for the suggestion tho, i appreciate it

I don't want to nag you, but you can ask your therapist to have sessions where you send them emails or have phone calls. I struggle with speaking too. Sorry if I insist, it just saddens me to see a caring young person willing to ctb, but I respect your choice.

 

[leaftomb]

I am sorry you find yourself on these shores fellow traveler, they will still blame themselves but you may try something like "please understand that me leaving is not a reflection of you but my own inability to turn myself for the better."

that's a beautiful way to put it. thank you.

I don't want to nag you, but you can ask your therapist to have sessions where you send them emails or have phone calls. I struggle with speaking too. Sorry if I insist, it just saddens me to see a caring young person willing to ctb, but I respect your choice.

don't apologize for insisting, i get it. i actually never thought of doing that, so thank you. i'll keep it in mind and try it if i can find a therapist in time

 

[EternalSummer]

Say that your life was happy, talk about how much you appreciate them, mention all the moments which were the most meaningful to you, say that you don't see yourself moving foward and that your cycle is complete, as a last favour ask them to continue their lives without guilty, cause they did nothing wrong, say that you will be looking them from the other side.

 

[Contraband]

be careful how much you say in person, but make the best of your time with them and say what you'd like to show your love and gratitude if you can do so without raising a red flag. anything you can't say, put it in your letter. emphasize your thankfulness for the opportunities and memories you got. explain that it's personal and go into your reasons. i hope you aren't going to ctb because of other people and if so, make sure you mention that.

i would also really be clear that nothing they could have done or avoided could have prevented it.

you can't control how they will react but you can control the info you give them. hopefully they will understand as much as possible. sadly it's never going to be ideal in this culture.

 

[leaftomb]

Say that your life was happy, talk about how much you appreciate them, and talk about all the moments which were the most meaninful to you, say that you don't see yourself moving foward and that your cycle is complete, as a last favour ask them to continue their lives without guilty, cause they did nothing wrong, say that you will be looking them from the other side.

i probably couldn't say better. thank you

 

[EternalSummer]

i probably couldn't say better. thank you

I'm glad I can help, i hope you take the best decision possible, and take your time to ponder on things and consider all avaiable options.

 

[leaftomb]

be careful how much you say in person, but make the best of your time with them and say what you'd like to show your love and gratitude if you can do so without raising a red flag. anything you can't say, put it in your letter. emphasize your thankfulness for the opportunities and memories you got. explain that it's personal and go into your reasons. i hope you aren't going to ctb because of other people and if so, make sure you mention that.

i would also really be clear that nothing they could have done or avoided could have prevented it.

you can't control how they will react but you can control the info you give them. hopefully they will understand as much as possible. sadly it's never going to be ideal in this culture.

i'll make sure to include all of that in my note and try to spend as much time with them as possible until then. thank you

 

[SNastablesalt]

I'm planning to CTB in a few months, gonna get some meds and overdose around the end of the year, but I'm scared of how I'm gonna leave my parents. Of course, I'm very much aware they will definitely be impacted by my decision, probably for quite some time too as I am their only child. I've already started drafts of my suicide note, trying to explain that it's no one's fault but mine, I'm so worried that they'll think I did it because of them. This might sound ridiculous and I apologize if it does, but is there anything I could write down to just ease the news a little? Anything any of you has mentioned and felt was important for their loved ones?

P.S. : This is my first time posting on here, I hope I am not breaking any rule but please let me know if I need to fix anything in my post.

CAL PFP TWINS!!

 

[leaftomb]

CAL PFP TWINS!!

HELL YEAH