Venting How to get people to take me seriously

[SplitInfrastructure]

Im fucking tired over 2 years Ive been feeling this one fucking way about something and now its just a little 'youre out of meds' Im so fucking tired of living as somebodys mental support dog and I dont wanna leave them but I wanna be more than that

 

[kyukyu]

Im fucking tired over 2 years Ive been feeling this one fucking way about something and now its just a little 'youre out of meds' Im so fucking tired of living as somebodys mental support dog and I dont wanna leave them but I wanna be more than that

You cant make people respect you sadly. They have biases and they are too stuck up to even consider another persons struggle with a respectful and empathetic approach. While I dont know your full story, you should always remember your strength in simply surviving, and that at the end of the day, you shouldn't feel as though you have to "prove" yourself to anyone. I wish you the best of luck :)

 

[SplitInfrastructure]

You cant make people respect you sadly. They have biases and they are too stuck up to even consider another persons struggle with a respectful and empathetic approach. While I dont know your full story, you should always remember your strength in simply surviving, and that at the end of the day, you shouldn't feel as though you have to "prove" yourself to anyone. I wish you the best of luck :)

Ive been lately getting angry with my friend not getting any help for themselves and leeching off me
Thank god they got a psychiatrist appointment recently but I still have this sour taste that since the beggining I was 'known' as their only source of closure, their first source of physical closure in forever, but it came with me always putting them before myself and whenever I put myself first I always had to face a punishment for that. any type of it- dramas or not i dont care anymore. I love them but its just exhausting to always put them first and whenever I had trouble with it it came at a cost. Last time I just went out on the poarch to drink wine and smoke and when I came back she accused me of masturbating next to her while she was crying because 'my legs were shaking'. They were out of stress and overwhelming emotions, I went out to burn myself and get hammered and had to explain myself having any major negative emotions. She did understand it in the end but what the fuck am I supposed to think about her assuming I just jerked off in a situation stressful for both of us. Then I texted her about her socks on the floor next to our bed that were left there for 2 days and it annoyed me and she just went on a full meltdown saying how she should just move out since we cant live together, even then I tried to be calm despite being angry at first, I think she got it in the end after I explained to her that its only coming from her and nowhere in our conversation did I mention her going away as a solution. Its just exhausting to always be calm and even if I still on my meds it would at some point anger me that Im always her voice of reason while shes breaking down

in short im just tired of taking care of someone who tends to act like a child and not having the support reciprocated fully even in the rare moments where i showed need it
Whenever she beats herself I have to hold her whenever she cries I have to hold her, whenever she cuts I have to look at it like nothing ever happened and whenever I show weakness by doing any of mentioned above Im just belittled

 

[kyukyu]

Ive been lately getting angry with my friend not getting any help for themselves and leeching off me
Thank god they got a psychiatrist appointment recently but I still have this sour taste that since the beggining I was 'known' as their only source of closure, their first source of physical closure in forever, but it came with me always putting them before myself and whenever I put myself first I always had to face a punishment for that. any type of it- dramas or not i dont care anymore. I love them but its just exhausting to always put them first and whenever I had trouble with it it came at a cost. Last time I just went out on the poarch to drink wine and smoke and when I came back she accused me of masturbating next to her while she was crying because 'my legs were shaking'. They were out of stress and overwhelming emotions, I went out to burn myself and get hammered and had to explain myself having any major negative emotions. She did understand it in the end but what the fuck am I supposed to think about her assuming I just jerked off in a situation stressful for both of us. Then I texted her about her socks on the floor next to our bed that were left there for 2 days and it annoyed me and she just went on a full meltdown saying how she should just move out since we cant live together, even then I tried to be calm despite being angry at first, I think she got it in the end after I explained to her that its only coming from her and nowhere in our conversation did I mention her going away as a solution. Its just exhausting to always be calm and even if I still on my meds it would at some point anger me that Im always her voice of reason while shes breaking down

in short im just tired of taking care of someone who tends to act like a child and not having the support reciprocated fully even in the rare moments where i showed need it
Whenever she beats herself I have to hold her whenever she cries I have to hold her, whenever she cuts I have to look at it like nothing ever happened and whenever I show weakness by doing any of mentioned above Im just belittled

You cant help someone who doesnt want the right help, and sometimes we simply aren't qualified to deal with such things. Dont hurt your own mental health for the sake of others all the time, and that you can communicate as well. You sound like a good hearted person who cares deeply, and you deserve to find the right people to give it to. Take your time to think and reflect and to really go through your emotions, because all of them are Valid. See how her having a psychiatrist helps and if it doesn't, reevaluate your situation. You deserve the same love you give, especially in hard times, and you can expect that from such a mentally demanding friendship.

I wish you the best of luck

 

[SplitInfrastructure]

You cant help someone who doesnt want the right help, and sometimes we simply aren't qualified to deal with such things. Dont hurt your own mental health for the sake of others all the time, and that you can communicate as well. You sound like a good hearted person who cares deeply, and you deserve to find the right people to give it to. Take your time to think and reflect and to really go through your emotions, because all of them are Valid. See how her having a psychiatrist helps and if it doesn't, reevaluate your situation. You deserve the same love you give, especially in hard times, and you can expect that from such a mentally demanding friendship.

I wish you the best of luck

Thats what I really wanna do but I care too much. I guess its just gonna be hard no matter the outcome, wanted to get drunk today again but Im feeling nauseus and Im shaking again, Ill just go to sleep on the couch for today

 

[kyukyu]

Thats what I really wanna do but I care too much. I guess its just gonna be hard no matter the outcome, wanted to get drunk today again but Im feeling nauseus and Im shaking again, Ill just go to sleep on the couch for today

Dont numb things out with alcohol, allow yourself to feel and to properly think about all the conflicting emotions you are going through. Take a good sleep and see how you want to proceed :) You deserve so much more than that

 

[snowcloud9]

You gotta tell them you want to move past a trauma-bond friendship. Directly.

 

[jessisme]

Ive been lately getting angry with my friend not getting any help for themselves and leeching off me
Thank god they got a psychiatrist appointment recently but I still have this sour taste that since the beggining I was 'known' as their only source of closure, their first source of physical closure in forever, but it came with me always putting them before myself and whenever I put myself first I always had to face a punishment for that. any type of it- dramas or not i dont care anymore. I love them but its just exhausting to always put them first and whenever I had trouble with it it came at a cost. Last time I just went out on the poarch to drink wine and smoke and when I came back she accused me of masturbating next to her while she was crying because 'my legs were shaking'. They were out of stress and overwhelming emotions, I went out to burn myself and get hammered and had to explain myself having any major negative emotions. She did understand it in the end but what the fuck am I supposed to think about her assuming I just jerked off in a situation stressful for both of us. Then I texted her about her socks on the floor next to our bed that were left there for 2 days and it annoyed me and she just went on a full meltdown saying how she should just move out since we cant live together, even then I tried to be calm despite being angry at first, I think she got it in the end after I explained to her that its only coming from her and nowhere in our conversation did I mention her going away as a solution. Its just exhausting to always be calm and even if I still on my meds it would at some point anger me that Im always her voice of reason while shes breaking down

in short im just tired of taking care of someone who tends to act like a child and not having the support reciprocated fully even in the rare moments where i showed need it
Whenever she beats herself I have to hold her whenever she cries I have to hold her, whenever she cuts I have to look at it like nothing ever happened and whenever I show weakness by doing any of mentioned above Im just belittled

Take care of yourself. You don't have to be in this relationship. xo, j

 

[SplitInfrastructure]

You gotta tell them you want to move past a trauma-bond friendship. Directly.

I do really want to see how therapy will turn out first
at this point I dont want to leave because I worked for so long to get her to go get help, care about her no matter what and I know she would simply not go if we broke any ties

 

[snowcloud9]

I do really want to see how therapy will turn out first
at this point I dont want to leave because I worked for so long to get her to go get help, care about her no matter what and I know she would simply not go if we broke any ties

Therapy only works if the person going puts in effort to make it work.

 

[SexyIncél]

You clearly sound like a moral person with a backbone. Whatever your self-serving friend's fleeting opinions

One possibility: find decent people who value you, enough that you can walk away. Your friend likely will treat you better. Because of two principles: bargaining power & social validation

You gain bargaining power with the ability to walk away. (Not that you actually plan to.) Social validation means many will approve of you more, because they observe others approving of you

Not everyone is affected by these things, but sadly, many are

Could be tricky though: success of one partner can cause envy

---

One way to do find such people is to look at communities of people who act morally. Because moral virtues are built by practicing moral actions. (In those communities, many merely talk. But a subset of them act)

Now, this may not get you a romantic partner. But friends, yes, that's possible. Now, that may require some time/effort, which you may not be able to spare

But I dunno if this'll work for you. Could end up sucking