How to get past the guilt of leaving my loved ones as I CTB

[posterchild]

So I know that this is a big of a cliché, but what do I do about the guilt of having to leave my fiancé, family and friends behind as I CTB?

I love them so much, but unfortunately the love is not enough to keep me from CTB. My life is beyond repairable, but I don't want to make their life hell like mine has been. Once I am dead I know that I won't have to worry about any of these things, but here I am…

In a way, if I CTB now, I will no longer be a burden to them and they don't have to see me grow old and bitter.

 

[abcdefg789]

You can't get past it in my view.

Personally I feel existence is so unbearable I don't want a part of it anymore. I feel very loved and have a good life, but I cannot bear myself and my thoughts. Though I'm also not convinced I'd get to escape that if I CTB.


It just occurred to me that if I CTB, I might be more of a buren to my loved ones than I am now.

 

[Shiitake]

You dont get past the "guilt"
You can't stop loving them unless you seek destruction, which is more painful than death itself.

To me having loved ones was the very reason i stayed, i wanted to leave, but couldnt cause of that fact, it made me stay here for longer,
and to my suprise they also helped me and supported me (not many have this)
And this made me want to live again.

You can't get past it in my view.

Personally I feel existence is so unbearable I don't want a part of it anymore. I feel very loved and have a good life, but I cannot bear myself and my thoughts. Though I'm also not convinced I'd get to escape that if I CTB.


It just occurred to me that if I CTB, I might be more of a buren to my loved ones than I am now.

You're not a burden, lmao this reminds me of metamorphosis franz kafka, if they view you as a burden then they can kindly fuck off, but i dont believe so.
I think you're worried you are one.
familiies are supposed to stay together even through hardships,
you being a "burden" (your own viewpoint i believe) is temporary, and can be fixed.

 

[Rainbow Dash]

....?

How to get past the guilt of leaving my loved ones as I CTB

I mean when you are dead youll get past the guilt....

Sorry if straightforward but like who cared what happens when you die... Youll be dead....

Not trying to be rude or insensative but like...

Youll be dead man lol

Just make sure bank and financials are in order and YOU WONT BE THE REASON HE IS LOCKED OUT OF ACCOUNTS AND BANKS AND FINANCIAL.