how to get more courageous to commit suicide

[miekorevvv]

just as the title says i just want to find a way to get more suicidal or rather braver to actually do it suicidal thoughts started like almost 5 years ago and since then ive been trying to get more and more suicidal notably through getting more and more into nihilism which worked kinda of but still despite me viewing life is meaningless rn and it doesnt matter whether i die now or later i do still struggle to actually get to the action of actually committing suicide and ending it all cuz yes i still in fear of pain while at the same time being obsessed with the idea of not existing anymore and ending my life

 

[Mattew]

I'm about to do it this night. I'm here searching for how many floor i have to jump. Im on third floor and i think that probably I'm not gonna be able to die instantly. Didn't have courage in month but i don't know how to explain, this night seems perfect to me

 

[miekorevvv]

I'm about to do it this night. I'm here searching for how many floor i have to jump. Im on third floor and i think that probably I'm not gonna be able to die instantly

someone told me that some ppl survived jumping from 8th floor so yea anyways good luck and may u find peace

 

[Mattew]

someone told me that some ppl survived jumping from 8th floor so yea anyways good luck and may u find peace

Actually i think there's nothing after we pass, just black like before we were born.. So our existence on earth was quite pointless and maybe 50 years form now, all the people forget about us.... So what's the point of living tho? Btw the best metod i think is probably a complete hanging ant not partial or even the overdose from xan and other stuff. Maybe we will meet again in the afterlife if it exists

 

[miekorevvv]

Actually i think there's nothing after we pass, just black like before we were born.. So our existence on earth was quite pointless and maybe 50 years form now, all the people forget about us.... So what's the point of living tho? Btw the best metod i think is probably a complete hanging ant not partial or even the overdose from xan and other stuff. Maybe we will meet again in the afterlife if it exists

life is indeed pointless and yes ppl will eventually forget about the dead at the end and personally id love to be part of that nothingness again and embrace it cuz that place for 3 years by now does indeed feel like home and maybe the point of living is dying at the end and i dont really believe n the afterlife rather i think its usually a tool to control some ppl(concept of heaven and hell etc)

 

[name2come]

Honestly? I don't think it's a matter of courage. I think that's something we can sometimes turn to because we are used to beating ourselves up, but this is a really hard thing to do and it's about so much more than courage or even will. No one is a coward because they are struggling with this. The struggle is normal and sadly part of being alive, as much as we might not want it to be.

I had a realization recently that it's not courage that would motivate me, but desperation. Which makes sense, really. Desperation is the state where I feel most like I'm losing myself, but I've started to think that is what I'm going to need when the time comes. It sucks, because it's an awful feeling. I don't like feeling so out of control with my emotional state, but I think that's the moment it will be the easiest to CTB. For me, at least, this would be almost an extreme opposite from brave or courageous.

 

[Mattew]

life is indeed pointless and yes ppl will eventually forget about the dead at the end and personally id love to be part of that nothingness again and embrace it cuz that place for 3 years by now does indeed feel like home and maybe the point of living is dying at the end and i dont really believe n the afterlife rather i think its usually a tool to control some ppl(concept of heaven and hell etc)

I mean most people have so much fear of the death and the time that pass by too fast. They seems happy while living their life, even with the problems that they have during their life.

For example i have a friend who finds out it has cancer, he seems like he really want to fight this battle ( i really hope for him to win) but I don't know why people keep ahead even whit a lot of problems.
Maybe I'm just too weak to win my battle, I never remember a single day while i was really happy and grateful to be alive in years.

 

[LastDayOnEarth]

I'm at a point where I dont think I need courage anymore, I already accepted my inevitable death

 

[miekorevvv]

I mean most people have so much fear of the death and the time that pass by too fast. They seems happy while living their life, even with the problems that they have during their life.

For example i have a friend who finds out it has cancer, he seems like he really want to fight this battle ( i really hope for him to win) but I don't know why people keep ahead even whit a lot of problems.
Maybe I'm just too weak to win my battle, I never remember a single day while i was really happy and grateful to be alive in years.

tbh its reallh much more complicated then weakness and strengh imo after all being able to reach the point of taboo thoughts such as suicide in societies like ours today feels like an act of going against the tide and actually being sort of rebelious against the tide type of thingy tho that aside ive also seen a lot of ppl with cancer fighting their max to survive its like usually two ppl either those who wanna stick up to life cuz at the end they believe they didnt really get the right to live really at the end of the story so at the end they wanna also try themselves also there are those who just since they know when they are going to die so they enjoy the latest moments to the fullest also i hope ur friend survives cancer
personally id wish to know when i will die exactly this way i can see how to deal with the ramining time left of living to me ( i even thought looking for a hitman for myself lol)

I'm at a point where I dont think I need courage anymore, I already accepted my inevitable death

tbf i accepted it and i ideolize it sometimes i just need ti fastforward it at this rate

 

[BlueMist96]

Don't go looking for it. If you're ever ready, you'll know. Stay safe.

 

[Mattew]

tbh its reallh much more complicated then weakness and strengh imo after all being able to reach the point of taboo thoughts such as suicide in societies like ours today feels like an act of going against the tide and actually being sort of rebelious against the tide type of thingy tho that aside ive also seen a lot of ppl with cancer fighting their max to survive its like usually two ppl either those who wanna stick up to life cuz at the end they believe they didnt really get the right to live really at the end of the story so at the end they wanna also try themselves also there are those who just since they know when they are going to die so they enjoy the latest moments to the fullest also i hope ur friend survives cancer
personally id wish to know when i will die exactly this way i can see how to deal with the ramining time left of living to me ( i even thought looking for a hitman for myself lol)

tbf i accepted it and i ideolize it sometimes i just need ti fastforward it at this rate

It can be a stupid question sorry, but i don't understand the part where you say that you want to deal with your remaining time. Basically you can just immagine that you're gonna die pretty soon and live your life at the fullest. Isn't it?
Sorry if i didn't understand correctly what you are writing but now actually I'm crying and writing in this forum sitting at the edge, on the top of the roof.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I don't think anyone here would give you advice on this as it is considered encouraging suicide. Which isn't allowed here and is very morally questionable. But regardless, I hope you find whatever peace your heart desires.

 

[Aflame5926]

To be honest CTB aint cool. like the other said im also not going to encourage you

tbf i accepted it and i ideolize it sometimes i just need ti fastforward it at this rate

my 2 cent of opinion which is worth nothing and at the end of ill shove it in our own arse again.
Also i dont know your whole story only what is part of this thread.

I dont want you to CTB. if you have to hype yourself to make you more suicidal then it makes there is so space for a happy path.
what that happy path is that ofcs for you to look for yourself

I also think SI will be a pretty big blocker for you.

ready so shove my opinion in ma ass

 

[PanaxMan]

just as the title says i just want to find a way to get more suicidal or rather braver to actually do it suicidal thoughts started like almost 5 years ago and since then ive been trying to get more and more suicidal notably through getting more and more into nihilism which worked kinda of but still despite me viewing life is meaningless rn and it doesnt matter whether i die now or later i do still struggle to actually get to the action of actually committing suicide and ending it all cuz yes i still in fear of pain while at the same time being obsessed with the idea of not existing anymore and ending my life

You would usually get into a desperate or to have the desperate urge mostly relating to life circumstances (for example I'm homeless)