Discussion How to endure wageslaving for another 5-7 years before i CTB?

[gantaigarashi]

Can't really CTB right now because I support my parents and will have to pay for my siblings college tuition.

But I really want to off myself while I'm wageslaving.
I just need the strength to endure this hell for 5-7 years till my sibling is also in a good financial condition and then I can CTB without any regrets.

Any advice from suicidal wageslaves will be really helpful.

 

[brokeandbroken]

Can't really CTB right now because I support my parents and will have to pay for my siblings college tuition.

But I really want to off myself while I'm wageslaving.
I just need the strength to endure this hell for 5-7 years till my sibling is also in a good financial condition and then I can CTB without any regrets.

Any advice from suicidal wageslaves will be really helpful.

Why isn't your sibling paying for their own tuition? Can your parents not support themselves? Neither is your responsibility.

 

[gantaigarashi]

Why isn't your sibling paying for their own tuition? Can your parents not support themselves? Neither is your responsibility.

I'm from a south asian country and we barely have any jobs for high school graduates. Shit! Even college grads can't get decent jobs

And my dad is a bum, he lost all of his money due to alcoholism and now he can't even take care of my mom. So, I have to stay alive until my sibling graduates, and makes enough to support himself and our parents.

 

[SeenMoreThanEnough]

Can't really CTB right now because I support my parents and will have to pay for my siblings college tuition.

But I really want to off myself while I'm wageslaving.
I just need the strength to endure this hell for 5-7 years till my sibling is also in a good financial condition and then I can CTB without any regrets.

Any advice from suicidal wageslaves will be really helpful.

The thing is..and I want you to really think about this logically..there's no point in wage-slaving for 5-7 years before you CTB. None. You'll be gone, and will obviously have no perception of anything at that point. I know you want to 'provide' for your parents/sibling..but if that's the case, why not work ten years? Or fifteen? Will it make it a more 'honourable' suicide in your mind if you 'wage-slave' for 5-7 years first? Makes no sense. Additionally, the psychological pain your suicide will inflict on them will be very detrimental and is going to cancel out any good your 'wave-slaving' did. So in reality, the only person that is going to profit will be whatever corporation/entity you are 'wage-slaving' for. The only good I thing I see about your plan is that in 5-7 years, things may have improved to the point where you no longer want to kill yourself. Just a thought.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I'm from a south asian country and we barely have any jobs for high school graduates. Shit! Even college grads can't get decent jobs

And my dad is a bum, he lost all of his money due to alcoholism and now he can't even take care of my mom. So, I have to stay alive until my sibling graduates, and makes enough to support himself and our parents.

I'm tremendously sorry to hear that. If it makes you feel better I American and I have an undergrad degree and went to medical school in Europe (DNF), was forced out illegally... I don't have the money to go back etc.. And I also can't get a decent job... I wish you all the best sounds like an incredibly difficult situation. Hopefully your dad can get off the hooch.

 

[SeenMoreThanEnough]

Rest in peace, Kim Jong Un.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think the main thing is to try and not let work stress you out. You can only do what you can do. I do understand your wish to support your family and it's so impressive. Just try to make your life as enjoyable as possible though. Maybe use your end goal to CTB as a tool to take everything else less seriously. Obviously- still do the work but, try to not let it get to you so much.

I think that's what's happened to me anyhow. I used to get so stressed about work. Part of that has gone now because- next to death, nothing really matters. It puts things into perspective. My situation is slightly different to yours. I don't have to support anyone else financially (thankfully) but- I do need to support myself. I'm holding on for my Dad to go before I feel like I can. So- I also feel trapped here for now. Really- I just see it as treading water though. The ambition to succeed in life has largely gone for me now. That has felt like a weight off of me. I don't know if any of that helped! I do really admire what you're doing for your loved ones.

 

[damianshawl]

I'm from a south asian country and we barely have any jobs for high school graduates. Shit! Even college grads can't get decent jobs

And my dad is a bum, he lost all of his money due to alcoholism and now he can't even take care of my mom. So, I have to stay alive until my sibling graduates, and makes enough to support himself and our parents.

Sounds like America's system. They call everyone lazy, but they don't wanna higher those with a high school degree.

 

[kindalone]

As a fellow man, who grew up in a rather traditional family that values filial piety, I understand your position. Despite your father failing in his role to protect and provide for your family, you have to pick up his slack and sacrifice your individuality. I unfortunately don't have good tips other than delegating some responsibility onto your sibling. He is studying but he still can help around the house and be an asset to the family. It might make coming home less stressful when you know you're all in it together. Is your mother working? If not, she could do some part time work. It might take a load off your shoulders. I personally take Kratom. It's making my day a lot more bearable. I take a small dose and it lifts my mood a little. That's what I personally did. If you have time, work on something that is just for you, so you don't feel like you're just living for your parents' sake. If you're gonna force yourself to live for another 5-7 years, you should definitely look into something that you value for yourself.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I think this isn't option for you now, but I would have preferred CTB long before becoming a wage slave in any case.

I'm sorry you have to go through this torture, it's inhumane. I hope you find peace!

 

[leloyon]

Get good life insurance.

 

[monday?]

As a fellow suicidal wageslaver the best feeling i get is when i leave work. The amount of dopamine that i get at the end of the shift is directly proportional to the shittiness of the shift. You can probably relate to this. You could think of it as working towards a goal: the satisfaction of being done with this shit. If you trick your mind into thinking it is working towards some kind of goal it will become more bearable

 

[CW36]

Winning the lotto would work!

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Get good life insurance.

I doubt that most life insurances would pay if suicide was the reason for death.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Sexual intercourse

 

[gantaigarashi]

I think the main thing is to try and not let work stress you out. You can only do what you can do. I do understand your wish to support your family and it's so impressive. Just try to make your life as enjoyable as possible though. Maybe use your end goal to CTB as a tool to take everything else less seriously. Obviously- still do the work but, try to not let it get to you so much.

I think that's what's happened to me anyhow. I used to get so stressed about work. Part of that has gone now because- next to death, nothing really matters. It puts things into perspective. My situation is slightly different to yours. I don't have to support anyone else financially (thankfully) but- I do need to support myself. I'm holding on for my Dad to go before I feel like I can. So- I also feel trapped here for now. Really- I just see it as treading water though. The ambition to succeed in life has largely gone for me now. That has felt like a weight off of me. I don't know if any of that helped! I do really admire what you're doing for your loved ones.

Yeah, my goal to CTB does work as a good cope. Also sometimes I take up more work, don't know why maybe because I feel so empty that doing something feels better than nothing.

Anyways, I just convince myself that this grind is just for few more years and it's all over after that.

As a fellow suicidal wageslaver the best feeling i get is when i leave work. The amount of dopamine that i get at the end of the shift is directly proportional to the shittiness of the shift. You can probably relate to this. You could think of it as working towards a goal: the satisfaction of being done with this shit. If you trick your mind into thinking it is working towards some kind of goal it will become more bearable

I don't even have shifts, it's all upto the client and managers how many hours I'm going to put in and right now is tax filing season, it gets extra stressful literally want to put a bullet in my head.

I used to wfh now these fucks wants all the employees to go to office alteast twice a week That's adding more to the stress