How to deal with "mom will be sad"

[EternalSummer]

As the day approaches, i find it harder and harder to deal with the pain I'll cause others, especially mom and dad.

But, as I have written in my letter, this cant be the my only reason to live or not ctb.

Advice would be welcomed. I believe that during the day I shouldnt even think about it, i'll also do it in hotel room so they are not the ones to find my body. If theres anything more you guys think I can do for them to alliviate their suffering, feel free to reply.

 

[lostintheloop]

I know isn't what you want to hear but I don't think there's much you can do. You can't alleviate their grief.

Just Give them the what answers you can in note, remind you love them , maybe share a favourite memory with them etc.

 

[wtg]

It doesnt matter after you do it

 

[dopaminedeath]

HOW TO WRITE A SUICIDE NOTE

this person's thread may be worthwhile Strategies to LESSER FAMILLY SUFERRING after CTB

 

[sos]

realizing that she won't be alone is what helped me, it has definitely made it easier for me

like knowing that she'll have others around her to help her get thru it is somewhat of a thought and feeling that i can live with

 

[the_last_race]

You have to realise and make it clear to your own self that when you do it - there's no mom, no dad, no moon and sun anymore - the whole existence stops. Educate yourself on how brain works, read about death, but not spiritual bs and cold hard science. When you dead - it doesn't matter at all what happens after. You may even think to yourself that by ceasing the universe in such way you set your parents free of suffering since there will be no parents as i said earlier. You should only think about it in first person because as you stop existing - everyone else do too.

 

[EternalSummer]

You have to realise and make it clear to your own self that when you do it - there's no mom, no dad, no moon and sun anymore - the whole existence stops. Educate yourself on how brain works, read about death, but not spiritual bs and cold hard science. When you dead - it doesn't matter at all what happens after. You may even think to yourself that by ceasing the universe in such way you set your parents free of suffering since there will be no parents as i said earlier. You should only think about it in first person because as you stop existing - everyone else do too.

But before i go through with it, they still exist and the consequences of my action are still known to me, so to carry through, i need to do this little final effort.

 

[sugarb]

As the day approaches, i find it harder and harder to deal with the pain I'll cause others, especially mom and dad.

But, as I have written in my letter, this cant be the my only reason to live or not ctb.

Advice would be welcomed. I believe that during the day I shouldnt even think about it, i'll also do it in hotel room so they are not the ones to find my body. If theres anything more you guys think I can do for them to alliviate their suffering, feel free to reply.

When my ideation gets really intense and I rehearse pulling the trigger with my fingers like it's the real thing- I just put it out of mind. Mentally deny it. Or disassociate so heavily it's not even in my mind at all. When I actually CTB, I'll probably be disassociating.

Edit: For reference- disassociating is a common autistic thing and I don't know if NTs are able to do it or not. It feels almost like being high and nothing feels wholly real and it's sort of a mood thing.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be a difficult situation to be in and I'm sorry you suffer in this cruel existence, in my view maybe the note might help others understand if they have some sort of explanation. But anyway I hope that you find peace eventually.

 

[EternalSummer]

When my ideation gets really intense and I rehearse pulling the trigger with my fingers like it's the real thing- I just put it out of mind. Mentally deny it. Or disassociate so heavily it's not even in my mind at all. When I actually CTB, I'll probably be disassociating.

Edit: For reference- disassociating is a common autistic thing and I don't know if NTs are able to do it or not. It feels almost like being high and nothing feels wholly real and it's sort of a mood thing.

I kind of get what you mean, that's why in the day I think I shouldnt deal with writing stuff down or thinking about consequences. It's a mood thing as you said.