How to CTB when everyone’s eyes are on me?

[3FailedAttemptss]

Hopefully I get out of the ward tomorrow, and i so desperately want to ctb after my bf of two months left me.

I am anticipating my clincions and family will keep a close eye on me post discharge. my method is train decapitation so i somehow need to sneak out of the apartment unnoticed

any advice?

 

[JeyJeyOfJeypore]

Was it that bad? You guys were only together for 2 months right?

 

[_Vasa&Me_]

I just wanted to say before it is too late that you were the first SaSu user I ever checked out posts from going as far back as early December last year. Yeah all the way back to when u first met that boy at the ward that gave you cookies and you started to develop feelings for him, but since they were so good at confirming your gender, their homosexuality would not allow y'all to be together.

Reading your previous (false) suicide post was heartbreaking and made me really mad at myself for not commenting earlier when I had the chance to, so I am doing it now. While I think you have every right to CTB I do want to say that once ur wish does come to fruition… a large chunk of SaSu (at least to me) will be gone.

I just wanted to say one last thing - You are a real girl, I am sorry your boyfriend broke up with you and I am especially sorry for your schizophrenia that is the driving force behind the CTB… you truly do deserve better and will be dearly missed. I really wish I could hug you and that somehow things could be different… but it cant be…

Hopefully you knowing that theres many ppl like me where you had a huge impact on them do exist and that these people will miss you dearly (even those that do not leave messages on ur posts). Hopefully at least that means something and doesnt mean it was all to waste

 

[EndlessRage]

Hopefully I get out of the ward tomorrow, and i so desperately want to ctb after my bf of two months left me.

I am anticipating my clincions and family will keep a close eye on me post discharge. my method is train decapitation so i somehow need to sneak out of the apartment unnoticed

any advice?

Why did he leave you?

 

[SASU-KE]

am especially sorry for your schizophrenia that is the driving force behind the CTB

I believe anhedonia is the driving force she mentioned it in the farewell post.

 

[CarbonBased]

I believe anhedonia is the driving force she mentioned it in the farewell post.

I was just about to ask whether I was going insane because I also remember seeing and commenting under that post. I guess it got removed

 

[_Vasa&Me_]

I believe anhedonia is the driving force she mentioned it in the farewell post.

It switches or could be all three together. Much earlier posts used to say that if the boyfriend is gone they will CTB. Some days ago once her specific Schizophrenia was addressed it was that, now its anhedonia. I wouldnt say they are mutually exclusive, plus the anhedonia could have come from the Schizophrenia, who knows