Child online safety is the responsibility of that child's parents, not this or any other forum's moderators. Anyone can lie about their age and there's not a non-invasive way of confirming that. Why should the internet be forced to do parents' jobs for them?
If you leave your child unsupervised on the internet, that is just bad parenting. And if a minor ends up here of all places, and their parents don't know, maybe there's a personal reason for that that matters more than the fact that they did end up here?
The entitlement of parents that blame the internet when their child dies just goes to show they didn't put any effort in to their own parenting, they weren't there for their child when they were needed the most, and then when the reality that their child had been suffering so much to take their own life before even getting to live it hits them they all of a sudden care so much now. Too little too late, and it's always someone else's fault.
My take on online child safety is that children should never be left unsupervised on the internet at all under any circumstances, but that's kinda not what this is about. When it comes to child suicide, the parents always have at least some of the blame. At the very least they were neglectful enough to let it happen under their noses; at worst they might have contributed to it.
I don't really buy this. I don't like infantalising and downplaying the struggles minors can go through. I've known people who have committed suicide when we were children and every single time they had been abused and hurt and wronged and their parents either contributed to that or didn't care, that's the real problem here. The internet isn't responsible for that regardless of which websites they accessed before death, the uncaring and neglectful attitude of their parents and of wider society is.
Abused children are probably the most vulnerable group of people in society. So many of the people here now have been abused as children, so many have had awful or abusive parents, so many have been chronically suicidal since childhood, had life-long physical or mental illnesses, been groomed or raped or physically assaulted by adults; myself included in all of those groups. My suffering as a child hasn't magically gotten better since I grew up, I still have to live with the fallout of the traumas that were inflicted on me as a minor and I always will. But back when I was a child, no one cared about my well-being until my life had already been ruined and I tried to end it, then all of a sudden everyone cared about making sure I stayed alive no matter what.
The problem of child suicide is systemic, and its primary cause is neglectful parenting and uncaring and/or abusive medical systems.
Suicide itself is a red-herring here. It's not children committing suicide that's the problem, that's the symptom of the problem. It's children being abused and/or neglected to the point that their life is horrible enough that they want to commit suicide that is.
Shouldn't people focus on trying to improve the lives of suffering children so they actually want to live instead of scapegoating the internet and playing the blame game for their death when it's already too late? How does that help them?
Well if the kids are on here its safe to assume those parents have already failed in some way.
Yeah and i mentioned that already;
"Because parents are stirring up a shitstorm and blaming their bad parenting on an online website. Yes logically we all know this, but the majority of people dont. isn't the point here also to preserve the website and keep it up, so the info IS easily accessible. Kids being here will only cause issues, as we have seen […]" i got into how nevermind what ur opinion is, minors on here will bring the site down cause of critics.
suicide is a symptom yes. A symptom can be a problem. Ur not wrong about the suffering of children, ur quite right. But your solution for it is perplexing. I am also in those groups of abused kids and I still don't believe ctb will fix their problems.
where do we draw the line? Who has "good enough" reason to ctb? Who is the judge of that? The child? Do you realise how many happy kids would do this impulsively simply because they don't understand the concept of death. Or how do we differentiate between the kids who are being neglected and the ones who want to CTB because of (for example) bad grades? Literally who is deciding and assisting this and what makes that person a fit judge whether someone should live or die?
children aren't equipped to deal with the idea of suicide.
!! Im assuming the people on here (myself incl) are
making an informed, thought out decision and have exhausted all other options? Kids cant make that informed thought out decision because they are kids.
They cant consent to basically anything - and for good reason. You dont believe kids can consent, surely? So what makes them fit to decide on a permanent life/death situation? Most of these kids dont even KNOW what other options they have!! If they want to CTB, why not come back when they're legal adults? Its a permanent decision that shouldn't be rushed anyway, which is why some people post on here for years, even with their sn and whatnot ready. You seem to think children should be able to do this when, respectfully, most adults on here are hesitant themselves. This is a serious decision. And it is not natural for a child to ignore their natural SI. Im not saying suicide is wrong, Im saying
children making uninformed permanent decisions without being aware of the alternatives is a problem. They dont even know they can get help, which is why so many lean towards this. You, an adult, know the risks, possibilities and options out there.
meanwhile, kids don't. which is why they are often so hopeless. They are not aware of what they can do with their situation.
So if children shouldn't be online unsupervised (i completely agree) then it's self explanatory they shouldn't be on here either.
Parents will continue to be shit. Abusers will move onto other kids. systemic problems will keep affecting everyone else. So its not really helpful, its just a bandaid so we have less depressed kids to deal with. It would quite literally make more sense to just kill off their pedophiles for example, if we're being radical (lets be honest, its not that bad of an idea).
Im not infantilising or downplaying their issues, kids have real issues, some have problems most adults will never have to deal with. Except ppl like me and you are already past a certain point. Kids brain structure is different, theyre flexible, nothing is set in stone yet. If we help them early enough, there is a chance. Do you not believe in therapy? If some issues are tackled before a certain age, it will bring huge success. If we start young and early, they might not grow up into sad suicidal folk like us. We are like this because we haven't received the appropriate help fast enough. We cant cope and maybe with some things we shouldn't need to but we are adults making this decision.
We may not know how to prevent all the problems in the world, but if we know what steps to take to maybe (at least)
attempt making their life worth a while, why would we jump
straight to suicide instead? There is some things that are just facts and biology meanwhile ur opinion is based from ur lived personal experience like the user earlier.
There is a 100 things to try before choosing suicide as a solution.
I see this often, a case of the "me, me, me's, my, mine and I". I sympathise with your experience and truly feel sorry for what you had to go through. But ur experience seems to have shaped the way you think of other kids and their autonomy. More life experience doesn't make it right automatically. Or that what works for you, will work for others. Truth is - its the opposite. Id bet the majority of people want to live, unlike us.
Btw I genuinely believe some people on here haven't interacted with kids in their life and thats why they think this is ok. People are ignoring fundamental differences between kids and adults.
