Nyx𓂀

Nyx𓂀

Xerox Of A Xerox
Jan 19, 2024
43
sorry to be bringing it up again. but I really need someone who I can dm with to figure out and plan how I break up with my boyfriend. I really don't know what to do and need help. so if you're willing please pm me.
context is in these 2 threads - I think we need to break up + I've made my decision
💜
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,279
Via text and then a quick press of the block button
 
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gogoprince

gogoprince

Member
Dec 19, 2021
55
I would imagine yourself going through what you'll say to him maybe once, or twice just to be mindful of the point you want to get across, but don't do any more rehearsing than that. The more you plan for these things, the more it fucks you up when things don't go according to your plan (which they inevitably will). Breakups are painful and suck, but its less painful than the awkwardness and alienation of being in a relationship you don't want. You're making the right decision: you just have to stay confident in that.
 
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StillBreathing

StillBreathing

Student
Dec 4, 2022
153
As quickly as possible with zero unnecessary contact afterwards.
 
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Z

zeecen

Member
Mar 30, 2024
37
What's stopping you from breaking up via text or over the phone? You could say something like "Hey I want to break up. It's not you it's me." And just leave it at that. More information isn't necessary, but if you do want to communicate something more then that can just be added on.
 
gogoprince

gogoprince

Member
Dec 19, 2021
55
I'm shocked ya'll are counselling this person to just ghost this person entirely lol. Is there a good reason for that? She said in her previous post that they were friends before they got together so it's not out of the realm of possibility that they could remain friends after a breakup, no?

Generally, if my friend broke up with someone over text or over the phone I would think that was pretty impersonal and selfish if you've been going out for over a year? Unless you think it would be dangerous to do in person because some history of abuse, or because he is a violent, erratic person. But yeah generally give this person the respect they deserve if you feel like you've grown apart, or that you're not in a good spot to have a relationship and need to focus on yourself. Otherwise you end things abruptly and yeah its easier for the time being, but if you ever have to see him, or his friends again than you've fully burned those bridges and invite all sorts of drama into your life imo
 
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Little_Suzy

Little_Suzy

Amphibious
May 1, 2023
941
She claims she is afraid of being alone, which is why she is hesitant to end their relationship.

You admitted to using this man because he is popular, and your only two friends, whom you met through him, are loyal to him rather than you.

You admitted to attempting suicide three times while with him, being emotionally unavailable, and causing this man emotional trauma.

This man needs help breaking up with you! Tell him to create an account.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm de-stressing
Jul 1, 2020
6,915
they way he treats you, he needs to be ghosted.
"He is also not very good at receiving boundaries. like I cannot deal with physical touch, like it just ugh I can't, but he is a very touchy person. when I try to bring it up it, it either ends up with me apologising for saying anything or him agreeing but not changing anything and then getting annoyed when I flinch from him."
 
N33dT0D13

N33dT0D13

Xe/It
Apr 2, 2023
365
Keep ruminating over the idea of breaking up but never doing it cuz it "isn't the right time" or you "don't want to abandon" them and put up with enough of their bullshit that you're ready to snap so that the next time they spout the same dumb shit as usual you just snap and tell them it's through. Worked for me twice now lol but only if you don't mind hating yourself a little more
 
M

moshimoshi

Apr 6, 2024
749
This is just how I would go about it to create as little pain as possible, since something like a break up can be really mentally heavy on both people involved. I would first ask them if you could talk to them about something really important, that way they can mentally prepare a bit and it's not just out of the blue. I would give specific reasons why you want to break up and think it's for the best. That way they aren't stuck wondering for the rest of their life why you left. Thank them for all of the amazing memories you did share, and let them know that you will treasure them even though your paths in life have to go different directions. That you were happy to meet them, and you're sorry that your story together had to end. Then say your goodbyes, you can block them if you don't want contact with them ever again. This is just what I would do but every situation and person is different :] I would recommend not giving a one line text that you want to break up and leave it at that, or the generic "it's not you it's me" or anything like that. imo that kind of devalues all of the time and energy you put into eachother. I hope this helps! And I hope it goes well, sending you love ❤️
 
actualfemcel

actualfemcel

Member
Mar 30, 2024
19
Just ghost him. Pretend he doesn't exist. It's what everyone does nowadays. Confrontation makes things worse. People typically refuse to treat others better and if you confront them with their wrongs they twist your words and gaslight you. And that's in a best case scenario. Men get violent when a woman wants to leave.
 

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