How sure are you?

[copioushopelessness]

I feel terrible asking this question, but I guess it seems like the best place to do so. If you didn't have to overcome SI and you had your preferred method, how sure are you that you would ctb asap?

 

[gottacheckout]

I'm not ready to right now but I have many options ready to go when I am.

 

[starboy2k]

Id be dead by tomorrow morning.

 

[hmnow]

99.9 percent certain - since I have rehearsed partial suspension several times - I am probably certain when the time comes, I will do it. I am tired of life

 

[weallhaveourghosts]

I have no doubts and nothing holding me back besides access to means.

 

[wishingonstars]

If I had everything prepared right now (method, in a hotel, letters to everyone written, unofficial will written, and a video recorded and left for the police detailing that this was a suicide and not homicide) then I would not hesitate, 100% certain I would go through with it, the guilt of hurting my close family and friends and leaving my cat would eat me alive while I died but it wouldn't be enough to stop me.

 

[copioushopelessness]

I'm not ready to right now but I have many options ready to go when I am.

I envy your preparedness and your will to hang on longer <3

Id be dead by tomorrow morning.

Same. I wish I had the will or a meaning to hang on longer.

If I had everything prepared right now (method, in a hotel, letters to everyone written, unofficial will written, and a video recorded and left for the police detailing that this was a suicide and not homicide) then I would not hesitate, 100% certain I would go through with it, the guilt of hurting my close family and friends and leaving my cat would eat me alive while I died but it wouldn't be enough to stop me.

I live alone so I'm not sure I'd prepare that much. I don't care if my asshole landlord had to pay for the cleanup. He's half the reason I'm this depressed. I know that sounds awful. I think only two people would be affected by my decision but I don't think many would care at all. That's all that's stopping me, the guilt and the means to do so, and SI of course.

I have no doubts and nothing holding me back besides access to means.

Same. Months ago I threw my method away. It consumes me that I messed it up.

99.9 percent certain - since I have rehearsed partial suspension several times - I am probably certain when the time comes, I will do it. I am tired of life

I failed partial. I'm sorry you're tired of life. Same.
I wish things were better for us.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'd be long gone if I had the option to peacefully cease existing and finally be free from this dreadful, torturous existence I always saw as the most cruel mistake and the only reason why I continue to be burdened with this existence that to me is just waiting to die that just leads to decay and death anyway is because I exist in this horrific anti-suicide world where suicide is treated as a crime despite all the harm and suffering this existence causes.

I just always suffer so much from how I cannot just have a death like falling into an eternal, dreamless sleep as non-existence is just all I'll hope for, I'll always prefer to not exist than suffer in this existence, existing to me is so undesirable in every way and I suffer simply from existing, I'll always see it as an abomination to exist and I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was imposed causing and bringing all this suffering all for the sake of it with no limit as to how much one can be tortured.

 

[Audrey.2025]

I would like to say 100%, but something tells me if I was really that sure, I should be already dead by now, so maybe not really 100% yet... but getting there.

I can feel it in my bones, my setup is ready and my timeline is close, I feel strangely calm and excited and happy about it. But I can be 100% sure only when I am actually hanging and beyond the point of return, never before that, because both fucking SI and fear can be a bitch.

 

[otoyikim]

I have a bit of a timeline for ctb day. So i plan on getting the methods on that day.

Rationally, i am ready.

But emotionally, perhaps not. Survival instincts are an issue, and the plan can be potentially aborted at any time that day.

I plan on various measures against this. Such as:

-Shaving my head

-Breaking my glasses

-And carving various injuries onto my palm. (I have never injured myself in any permanent way so this will be noticeable no matter what i do.)

I live with my parents so doing these acts will make going back home unfeasible. As going back home means that i will likely be sectioned. And i REALLY don't want to be sectioned. For this, i will buy a safety razor, some bandages, and comandeer the electric razor at my house.

 

[somebodyfromeast]

I am absolutely certain that I will do it. And that is why I will not do it as soon as possible. I will do it when I want to.
My method is completely ready, and I do not think that I will have to overcome SI (at least, when I think about the entire sequence of actions in detail, I do not feel any fear, only relief).
Living is excruciatingly painful. Every day brings a new round of suffering. However, I still have some businesses to finish.
And I have the privilege of deciding when my life will end.

 

[Irisse]

If I didn't have SI I guess I would be around 80% sure I'll do it. For me the biggest problem is hurting my family.

 

[58Alice85]

I already did this once, they spent 3 days in the ICU bringing me back. Also a couple of times when i was about to do it but SI kicked in at the last moment. I guess i am comfy in that i will do it when i want to do it.

 

[Firefly.Forest]

I am trying to prepare multiple methods and accrue supplies in addition to possibly a forced relocation.

SI still an issue. Like many who lurked and came here I was hoping for simple only to have reality dawn that it is not simple, clear cut, cheap or guaranteed.

My life as I knew it has been obliterated - there is no choice.
I wish for peace for all of us.

 

[•_still_here_•]

I feel terrible asking this question, but I guess it seems like the best place to do so. If you didn't have to overcome SI and you had your preferred method, how sure are you that you would ctb asap?

Not right now, my cousins are visiting me in a few weeks. They're really excited about it and my youngest cousin has been preparing for it since last month, I don't want to ruin it for them. I promised myself that I won't ruin it for them, so not now. I wouldn't do it right now. I don't want my cousins to be sad.

 

[Sinful]

I am 100% on it, little to no Si or even care about it. Only how it will affect others and I'm starting to accept that me hopping on the bus will affect others anyways, no matter how much I worry about it.

That being said, I decided to postpone it for a couple of weeks since something came up and I want to leave as few loose ends as possible

 

[Busridin'26]

Would've last fucking week. Buttt many barriers. Finances & survival.

Finances and methods.

Survival instincts. Especially as im getting closer this has been coming up a lot more.


Aquiring a method that matches incone and my own capacity to harm myself.


Some other things but hoping to be ready before the yr ends or ready for January the latest...


It pains me to have to wait tho. More than I can ever describe.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

100% i would do it today if i were sure my method was at least 99.99% likely to work and kill me. i only fear failing and remaining alive with more brain damage