Beyond_Repair
Disheartened Ghost
- Oct 27, 2023
- 452
I'm researching methods and since it sounds like SN is near impossible to source in the US, I'm thinking about other ways. I'm considering hanging/night night method but that's kind of a last resort due to not wanting anyone to find my body like that. I know I'll be gone by then, but knowing someone will find my body in that state and potentially traumatize them makes me feel sick. At least with ODing you just look like you're asleep. I just worry about being able to source the stuff needed for that.
I've thought about traveling to the ocean and carrying a heavy backpack or something to weigh me down, and just swim out as far as I can. I would drink until I'm intoxicated or take benzos. I'm just wondering if there's still pain involved while drowning, if you'd panic even if you were highly intoxicated/sedated. Even though I do genuinely want to die, I think I'm too much of a weenie to carry something out if I thought it would be really painful/panic inducing that's why I could never jump lol.
What are your thoughts? Is drowning a way you'd want to go?
I've thought about traveling to the ocean and carrying a heavy backpack or something to weigh me down, and just swim out as far as I can. I would drink until I'm intoxicated or take benzos. I'm just wondering if there's still pain involved while drowning, if you'd panic even if you were highly intoxicated/sedated. Even though I do genuinely want to die, I think I'm too much of a weenie to carry something out if I thought it would be really painful/panic inducing that's why I could never jump lol.
What are your thoughts? Is drowning a way you'd want to go?