Discussion How old are you and how long have you been depressed or suicidal?

[TitianCashew26]

Just turned 27. Depressed since 19 or so. Suicidal for about six months but in the back of my mind I was worried I get to that point for a long time

What were things like before you were 19?

 

[MissBlack000]

I'm 31, first ideation was when i was around 8, with ups and downs since then, but i've never seen real good times and goes worse with time. In retrospect, it's a very long and heartbreaking way. Being suicidal for long times it isn't life.

Yes I am in my mid 40s and my first ideations began at 8. I am medicated. Which keeps me largely from having ideations except around ovulation and pre-menstrual they come up too. I am very introverted and spend most of my time with my pets. Interacting with others feels too risky because I don't want to feel hurt or disappointed with people or life and get triggered into ideations. I feel I have been guilted into living in a way by family and the responsibility to my loved ones. I believe at some point in the future or once I am completely old, decrepit, & hopeless I may eventually take my life. I just hope to find a way that no one will notice that it was my doing so the ones I love will be able to avoid suffering more. It seems inevitable at some point in the distant future. I feel my depression is a slow suicide in a way because the things that come along with it effect your physical health and your behaviors and habits lead to a shorter life without you really being able to control it. I enjoy napping too much.

i'm 32 depressed since forever turned into existential nihilism and now waiting to die or to ctb when my body starts shitting out for real

I totally understand the existential nihilism.

 

[Rainking]

51. As long as I can remember. Growing up, I had extreme social anxiety before it was really recognized as a thing so I was just completely lost and confused for most of my childhood. I think the earliest that the thought of suicide crossed my mind was 12ish. The deep depression really hit in my early 20's so I guess around 30 years of depression.

 

[CutToRelease]

I'm 20 from California idk when it started further back I remember the more instance of intentional self harming behavior I remember. So yeah I just have felt like this for as long as I can remember.

 

[Dejected 55]

I turned 55 last month. I've been on and off depressed for most of my life, going back to childhood. I never used to be suicidal, though. I sometimes would feel like I understood how bad people who were must have felt, because I often felt really bad and wondered what was the point... but I never considered suicide until last year. Several things fell into place that just seem like the final nails in my coffin and I don't see any choice or any reason anymore to be here.