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davidtorez

davidtorez

Wizard
Mar 8, 2024
648
Everyday since my health has been getting worse. Plan is already in my head on where and how I'll be doing it. Just a matter of time but I'm guessing I won't make it through next year
 
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Promised Heaven

Promised Heaven

Eternally atoning
Feb 1, 2024
675
Jokingly considering death has always been there. It's like that magic button to press to reassure myself I can always CTB and my worries and stress lessens. It happens multiple times a day, often at work.

Seriously considering suicide is significantly less. Maybe once or twice a week at max, when I'm in significant distress about my traumas. I have a plan, I have my method, I just need to wait for the perfect moment.
 
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S like Siren

S like Siren

Enlightened
Apr 29, 2021
1,549
At least more than once a day...sometimes all day long every day
 
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LastLoveSong

LastLoveSong

attention seeker
Oct 18, 2023
125
every 3-5 minutes maybe 10 on a "good" day
 
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D

diy-event

Student
Nov 16, 2024
146
For me it comes in waves. Sometimes I am fine and then it totally soaks up my ability to concentrate on anything else but suicide. I start to practise it in my head
 
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N

noname37

Student
Sep 10, 2024
100
Basically 24/7, it's not just in my head, it's like an impulse in my body. It's hard to explain. Only thing I'm waiting for is the right moment. If I in a place where I was guaranteed to be alone I would've just done it at this point.
 
Surai

Surai

Experienced
Mar 26, 2024
249
Everyday even if its a small thought it stays
 
Warlord's Pulse

Warlord's Pulse

Time to end this endless war
May 27, 2024
201
On a daily basis, but it stopped being a "sad" thought for me
 
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vampire2002

vampire2002

weeb & neet ♡
Oct 8, 2023
153
every day. exactly how often depends on how my day goes, but no matter what when i lie down in bed at night i can't help but think about it because all my thoughts come crashing in and i have no distractions anymore. on the really bad days, it's constant, non-stop screaming in my head, and distractions won't work.
 
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Unleashtherain

Unleashtherain

Student
Nov 12, 2024
112
Every second of the day. I wish I could get better and those thoughts would fade, but it's impossible.
 
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T

ThisIsNotAPipe

Member
Jun 24, 2023
31
Pretty much everyday. I'd say about 30 percent of the day is spent fantasizing about killing myself. I have various scenarios I've played out in my head literally thousands of times at this point. Despite all this, I've never attempted suicide once. I'm planning to end it hopefully soon enough so finally the pain will stop.
 
boiling0ver

boiling0ver

tw ed
Dec 7, 2024
9
Hi! I'm also new (just started my account today)! I have suicidal thoughts almost everyday, only sometimes I don't think of it as often.
 
shrizoid

shrizoid

Experienced
Nov 18, 2024
200
as i find myself getting older and still facing my mental health issues and suicidal thoughts i've realized that i've just increasingly grown more suicidal despite efforts to get better and now having different reasons to be.

these past few months have been especially hard, as i've genuinely thought about suicide. every. single. day.

i can distract myself for a little, maybe even a while, but eventually i'll go back to feeling like i want to die. or that i should've been dead already. or that i have to die.

and, without fail, these thoughts happen at the very least once day (though it's most often more than once).

so, i was just curious about how often you all think about suicide and in what ways it manifests?

also, this is my first post so hi everyone! :)
Daily. At least twice or thrice to be specifically.
 
JoysoftheEmptiness

JoysoftheEmptiness

Experienced
Sep 10, 2024
229
as i find myself getting older and still facing my mental health issues and suicidal thoughts i've realized that i've just increasingly grown more suicidal despite efforts to get better and now having different reasons to be.

these past few months have been especially hard, as i've genuinely thought about suicide. every. single. day.

i can distract myself for a little, maybe even a while, but eventually i'll go back to feeling like i want to die. or that i should've been dead already. or that i have to die.

and, without fail, these thoughts happen at the very least once day (though it's most often more than once).

so, i was just curious about how often you all think about suicide and in what ways it manifests?

also, this is my first post so hi everyone! :)
All the time. It never stops.
 
T

Trav1989

Experienced
Jun 2, 2024
250
Daily usually, one through three or-so times per day i'd wager.
 
A

areyousafe??

Arcanist
Nov 27, 2024
436
I started getting suicidal thoughts in my mid-late teens. There were periods of life when I don't think about it at all for months. These past few months I have been thinking about suicide every day.
 
O

ocdsucks

Member
Dec 5, 2024
33
Feeling suicidal is like a coping mechanism for me when everything feels overwhelming.
 
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N

NoPoint2Life

Why is this so hard?
Aug 31, 2024
647
Feeling suicidal is like a coping mechanism for me when everything feels overwhelming.
Love your username, I have OCD too.

I can't say I think about it all day. I think in the mornings especially and when I take a shower as that's all time to myself. But anything can trigger a thought like if I walk past a high window and I think that would be a great place to jump from if I could. Or something might snap me into reality and I remember how bad SI is. So I feel like there's a lot of relation to other things to my thoughts about it. And I definitely get distracted by TV and books although again there can always be something in them that triggers a thought.
 
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HereWeGo!

HereWeGo!

Please give me the guts to _ _ _ 🙏🏻
Dec 7, 2024
156
It's such bad as it's the first thing I think about when I wake up. Then I continuesly think about it almost thru all of the day. Usually I think about it at the same time I'm doing other activities, so exhausting. Then it's usually the last thing I think about before I fall asleep.
That's the way it is, feels like shit to be honest. Been like this since about July. Before that I've never ever thought about it. Seems like it's all or nothing for me.
 
MatrixPrisoner

MatrixPrisoner

Enlightened
Jul 8, 2023
1,834
Now. And right now. And right now. And right now. And right now. And right now...
 
darkest

darkest

Trapped in this cycle, a figure of eight
Feb 2, 2024
62
all the time, especially this year. the thing is it's only been getting worse. I remember my first time being suicidal was at the age of 10. :/
 
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Reactions: EternalShore
Gstreater

Gstreater

Student
Aug 10, 2024
154
It's hard to really narrow it down but I would say daily at this point. It used to have months in between those thoughts but now it's gotten so much worse.
 
Darkover

Darkover

Archangel
Jul 29, 2021
5,364
everyday for the last 8 years someday s a lot more than other's but it's every day
 
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P

PrisonPlanet

Member
Jun 14, 2023
27
as i find myself getting older and still facing my mental health issues and suicidal thoughts i've realized that i've just increasingly grown more suicidal despite efforts to get better and now having different reasons to be.

these past few months have been especially hard, as i've genuinely thought about suicide. every. single. day.

i can distract myself for a little, maybe even a while, but eventually i'll go back to feeling like i want to die. or that i should've been dead already. or that i have to die.

and, without fail, these thoughts happen at the very least once day (though it's most often more than once).

so, i was just curious about how often you all think about suicide and in what ways it manifests?

also, this is my first post so hi everyone! :)
Every day. Even if just for a split second.

I hate my job that I went to trade school for 10 years ago. It's emotionally draining and doesn't pay what I was hoping to be paid. I'm a college student and have been taking classes on and off (although continuously and currently since 2021) since 2004 when I first graduated high school but still haven't gotten a degree although I am finishing my final prerequisite this coming semester so that I can start the program at the university I am transferring to.

But at this point I'm almost 40 and half of my life is already over. The best of my life is already gone with the wind. At this point if I get my degree and get a job making $50k a year, will I still have time to save for retirement? Will I even be able to retire? It all seems so pointless. So I think about suicide at work, sometimes I think about suicide at school because I have to sit there in the boring classes learning info I'm never going to have to recall again, all so that I can learn to "think critically" about my field.

On my days off when I'm just laying in bed and getting high, I think about suicide because I'm lonely, I've tried dating 3 different guys this year and it all failed or never came to fruition and at this point I'm convinced that I'll be single forever. I'm a gay male so my dating pool is small already.

I don't feel loved by my family, another reason that makes me want to kms. I lived with my covert narcissist mom and step dad for 2 years starting 2021 to 2023 and now I'm living with my narcissist psycho trans step brother. It has caused brain damage for me. I'm moving out in january to a place with a guy I don't know whatsoever. I met the guy twice. One time to look at the place and another time to pay my deposit and get the key. I hate living with strangers and I hate living with my family. I'm stuck in a fucking prison either way you look at it until I get my degree and get a good paying job so I can get MY OWN DAMN PLACE!!

With all this being said, until I make enough money to get my own place, I will be thinking about suicide probably every day. I do have good days in between my depression episodes but even then the though does come into my mind briefly.
 
D

death_bed221

Student
Sep 23, 2024
152
Its all I think about
 
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Reactions: Joarga
isolatedl111

isolatedl111

Experienced
Nov 25, 2024
222
as i find myself getting older and still facing my mental health issues and suicidal thoughts i've realized that i've just increasingly grown more suicidal despite efforts to get better and now having different reasons to be.

these past few months have been especially hard, as i've genuinely thought about suicide. every. single. day.

i can distract myself for a little, maybe even a while, but eventually i'll go back to feeling like i want to die. or that i should've been dead already. or that i have to die.

and, without fail, these thoughts happen at the very least once day (though it's most often more than once).

so, i was just curious about how often you all think about suicide and in what ways it manifests?

also, this is my first post so hi everyone! :)
Everyday, my suicidal thoughts are constant.
 
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Reactions: Joarga

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