Discussion How many want to ctb this year

[Cheza_mus]

How many want to ctb this year and what is your method?

 

[Hurt]

I want so bad but I'm too coward to do it. I want to ctb everyday. Not an specific day or year. I'm just done with life.

 

[Death is beautiful]

I want so bad but I'm too coward to do it. I want to ctb everyday. Not an specific day or year. I'm just done with life.

what scares you specifically? is your method too painful?

 

[Hurt]

what scares you specifically? is your method too painful?

Failing is what scares me. I'm not afraid of dying. But failing an attempt would make things worse. Although my life is already a nightmare. Everyday is torturing.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I ain't seeing the new year. If I can get N I'm going with that, if not, I got a rope.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I want so bad but I'm too coward to do it. I want to ctb everyday. Not an specific day or year. I'm just done with life.

This.

Failing is what scares me. I'm not afraid of dying. But failing an attempt would make things worse. Although my life is already a nightmare. Everyday is torturing.

We think alike, @Frank1998

 

[NormaJeane]

It is possible to learn how to find the courage to die, like the soldier in war. I have been training this ability for a long time, I have practiced the method many times and I have thought about the risk of failure. I am ready to kill myself before the end of this year or preferably before the end of this month. I have no fear of death.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do want to ctb this year, but I do not think that is going to happen. I should have ctb last year, but really I should have never been born. There is no reason for me to stay alive. If it was easier I would have already been gone. The survival instinct and the fear of failure holds me back. I want to leave. I have had enough of living. I cannot do it for decades longer.

 

[weremole666]

Not this year, but early next year (SN). I can afford to hang around a bit more to see if life becomes easier to bear.

 

[ClownMe]

I want to go this year but cant because I dont want to leave my dog behind.

 

[Phosphophyllite]

I might do it the moment I receive my SN. I just can't bear it anymore.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

If I don't get a new job, I think it's likely I'll go this year. I've waited long enough for new chances. Time is running out.

 

[anywherebuthere]

Next week . It's become too unbearable for me at this point .. I'd do it now , but my mom has been staying with me & I don't want to blow my brains out while she's here in my apt.

 

[Bone]

I was waiting to try for one final "go" at life, but now I'm not even sure if I can do that. It really seems and feels like the end of my life. I dunno how to bounce back from this hole I've dug for myself/mental illness has dug for me.

 

[H0110W]

I think I will do it within the end of the year if things don't improve. I have a sliver of hope, but I honestly doubt anything will get better, in fact, everything seems to point to things becoming even worse in the future. So far, I feel like every single day is slightly but surely worse than the previous. I have too many regrets and failures that I simply cannot see myself getting over.

 

[SOL3HIRO]

Depending on how my mental health goes, it could be tonight or in 3 months but I definitely believe that I will attempt multiple times before the end of the year. My main method is partial hanging which I've had a couple of failed attempts with (door handle broke, mother woke up). I really hope that one day I get it right and can finally be free.

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

I think I don't want to see the next year. My method will be SN.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I'm going this year ordering N this month too afraid of SN

 

[catwalk]

i'd say i'm going to do it this year. but thats what i say every year and still, here i am

 

[one.way.out]

I plan to hang myself this October or November.

 

[AnotherTragicName]

Depending on how my mental health goes, it could be tonight or in 3 months but I definitely believe that I will attempt multiple times before the end of the year. My main method is partial hanging which I've had a couple of failed attempts with (door handle broke, mother woke up). I really hope that one day I get it right and can finally be free.

Try it in the forest, at night. Nice stable branches, nobody around when you go deep enough and the birds sing goodbye to you.
Well, I remember lying in my bed, thinking about suicidal really all day, for weeks. I also drove to a bridge to jump, baught everything I needed for the exit-bag method (could reach unconsciousness without feeling really uncomfortable), so one might think that I was good to go. Well,that's almost 4,5 years from now. And I was that down again numerous times, just like now. So why the fuck am I still here? My rope is gonna arrive on wednesday. But you will probably still find me here in 10 years. ._____.

It is possible to learn how to find the courage to die, like the soldier in war. I have been training this ability for a long time, I have practiced the method many times and I have thought about the risk of failure. I am ready to kill myself before the end of this year or preferably before the end of this month. I have no fear of death.

What the technique?

 

[miserableforever]

I want to but the dreaded SI won't even let me get the Covid shot :(

 

[clown_17]

I'm considering it. Not in this 2021 but in the next year, sometime between September 2021 and September 2022. I think I've given myself a long enough shot at recovery that if I chose sometime in this year I won't feel like I didn't try hard enough. And if I don't set a date that means it'll never get done because I'll listen to SI. I think for me it'll depend on how long I'm set on it for. I switch between being very ready to ctb and okayish every few weeks. If I can get 3 months being ctb ready that'll tell me it isn't just a mood swing and I can do it.

 

[wanttodie]

plan to hang myself this year or next year.

 

[plough22]

Isn't that why we are here, we want to but some can't/won't. Failure is mine, failing is even worst and then psyc ward. NO! Plan well and should succeed, just need that push. It'll come cause I don't have much fight left in me. That one more round is gone, a way out is now more appreciated

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

May or may not do it by the end of the semester in December, walk to a hiking trail and find a good spot to hang myself away from human eyes.

 

[wannabesetfree]

I honestly don't know but my bday was last week and I'll be surprised if I make it to 29 although I am trying to at least make it to 30. Sadly, I doubt things will get better for me so it's like I'm at the point where it feels hopeless to even keep going.

People always say that things'll get better but I've suffered a lot throughout my entire life. I joined this site back in 2019 and tbh, aside from adopting a new kitten and finishing my first book, NOTHING has changed for the better for me.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I joined this site back in 2019 and tbh, aside from adopting a new kitten and finishing my first book, NOTHING has changed for the better for me.

You finished a book? That's wonderful and really impressive! Congratulations!

 

[SOL3HIRO]

Try it in the forest, at night. Nice stable branches, nobody around when you go deep enough and the birds sing goodbye to you.
Well, I remember lying in my bed, thinking about suicidal really all day, for weeks. I also drove to a bridge to jump, baught everything I needed for the exit-bag method (could reach unconsciousness without feeling really uncomfortable), so one might think that I was good to go. Well,that's almost 4,5 years from now. And I was that down again numerous times, just like now. So why the fuck am I still here? My rope is gonna arrive on wednesday. But you will probably still find me here in 10 years. ._____.


What the technique?

I would gladly do it in a forest if I could drive and didn't live in a suburb next to the city. Luckily I realised that we have a garden thing that's metallic and stable enough to use! I wish it didn't have to come to this for both of us

 

[AnotherTragicName]

I would gladly do it in a forest if I could drive and didn't live in a suburb next to the city. Luckily I realised that we have a garden thing that's metallic and stable enough to use! I wish it didn't have to come to this for both of us

Can't you catch the bus(I mean to the forest, lol)? It probably doesn't even have to be a deep forest.
Just keep in mind that you really need privacy, however you are gonna do it. You don't want your mother to find you again, worst case it's vegetable time for you then. Also, probably better for your mother to hear it from the cops.

Yes it's kinda sad that life has to develop in such a way for people like us. Still, I don't want to brag. It's what it is. Im just sorry for those who are left befind. I don't have many people close to me, still I know that the death of someone can touch many people surprisingly. I remember there was that one guy I went to school with, I think he was 1-2 classes below me, we played music a couple of times but besides these times we never talked or hang out. Still, I heard he died in a car accident a few years ago. We had almost no connection but still it kinda struck me, enough to write about it even today.

For me, I'm mostly worried about the afterlife, since I believe in spiritual things. So most people in that area consider suicide to be murder, which doesn't look to well on the karmic CV. So if all that is true, I will still have to come back and solve the issues of my soul that I didn't solve in this life, as it seems, plus the suicide thing. But you know, maybe I will still be better off next time, who knows. I probably didn't do everything wrong in this life.