I can't beat it

I can't beat it

How can I be detached
Dec 7, 2023
14
What is the reason for the failure?
 
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K

Kit1

Enlightened
Oct 24, 2023
1,099
1. Took an overdose whilst dissociated. Called doctor when I realised - I am mum tontwo children and dying is not a viable option though the suicidal ideation can often overtake the reality of my life and commitment. Anyway admitted to hospital for antidote.
2. Ended up on top of mountain and another time (Beachyhead) and reached out to doctor and apparently he talked me out. Have no memory about what was discussed on the mountain.
3. Got hounded back home by police after doctor was alerted - safeguarding triggered.

Stopped using all medical services and noticed that I have not reached out when when distressed - so guess next time, I will wound up dead when going through extremely distress and dissociation as I have no one to turn to except this forum.
 
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melancholia_melodia

melancholia_melodia

Member
Nov 29, 2023
56
In July 2022, I tried to hang myself once. I took the power cables from my computer, but there was nothing on the ceiling to attach them to, so I tied them to a nail on the wall of my room instead. I tried to relax my body on the floor and let the weight pull my body down so the cables could strangle my neck, but it was incredibly uncomfortable and difficult, and after a few minutes my mom discovered what I was doing and she scolded me and cried all day.
 
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the_path_of_sorrows

the_path_of_sorrows

Different routes, same destination
Nov 26, 2023
112
Once 2.5 years ago tried to ctb without proper planning by poisoning myself with co2. I have slightly miscalculated and, even when SI kicked in, managed to slowly pass out, but woke up. Also have had plenty of aborted attempts, these ones had been more of impulsive decisions, therefore also impulsively stopped.
 
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O

Orange Cat

Student
Oct 19, 2023
142
I took an overdose before. I got scared and called for help.
 
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N

numbed one

Student
May 22, 2023
192
Many Times , last one was an overdose of olanzapine because it didn't work and i was scared gonna bé dammaged i went to thé hospital so fast
 
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Aim

Aim

🤍
Sep 12, 2023
945
I don't really know if it's justified to be calling it an attempt even. But I tried shooting myself with a 9mm in the brainstem trough the mouth a few times earlier this year. But obviously that didn't work.
 
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H

Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
1,361
Just once and ironically it was in a psych ward, wish it would've worked.
 
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kittyswift

kittyswift

getting tired even for a phoenix..
Sep 29, 2023
216
i think i have tried to overdose 4 times? each time it was poorly planned and incredibly impulsive so it really stood no chance of working. each time i just ended up throwing it all up. the most recent two attempts i just got serotonin syndrome and ended up with a miserable stay in hospital with soooo many ecgs. i tried to hang myself using a belt once but i sort of panicked and couldnt finish it off. i also tried to slit my wrists once but the pain was too much
 
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Aim

Aim

🤍
Sep 12, 2023
945
I don't really know if it's justified to be calling it an attempt even. But I tried shooting myself with a 9mm in the brainstem trough the mouth a few times earlier this year. But obviously that didn't work.
Nb! It didn't not work because i missed. (For the people that is looking into this method, it does have a very high success rate trough the mouth. Using hollow bullets!)
 
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アホペンギン

アホペンギン

Jul 10, 2023
2,199
I have almost 20 attempts at this point. I failed them all since I'm so incompetent I can't even kill myself and a lot of those attempts were impulsive anyways. More than half, actually.
 
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GlutenFreeCat

GlutenFreeCat

You're gonna carry that weight.
Dec 6, 2023
44
1. Drank half a bottle of whiskey and ate an entire 200 ct bottle of Tylenol PM when I was 18. A friend found me sometime later laying face down outside of his house and took me to the hospital. Spent 4 days in ICU and then 2 weeks in a psychiatric ward. It was an impulsive decision and I really regret not taking the time to research better methods.

2. A few months after the first attempt, I went to a local to me park with the intention of hanging myself from a tree that was somewhat out of the way but a disc golfer walked up on me tying the rope around my neck and threatened to call the cops.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,945
I've never properly attempted in my case basically because I'd fear trying to die failing and just leading to more suffering. I'd be long gone if I had a straightforward, guaranteed and painless way but sadly that's just not the reality.
 
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,559
Zero hard attempts, where my life was seriously threatened. I don't want to fail once I go past the point of no return. I want to be just one attempt and done.
 
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singularity3

singularity3

Experienced
Apr 2, 2023
213
1. I took an overdose of a variety of pills: antipsicotics, benzos, opiods and alcohol. I just remember from that day a nurse who said me "you have been to 5 minutes of die"
2. Partial hanging with a tie. Just got 5 minutes of dizzy and unreal feeling.
3. I tightened zip ties around my neck. I felt very dizzy and close to unconsciousness but my SI reacted and I cut the zip ties
 
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§∆T∆π

§∆T∆π

Member
Nov 17, 2023
7
Never really tried overdosing. It never really... I was more of a strangle, hang or poison type. None of those ever worked for me. Gun + alcohol is my last resort before New Year's. I'm really done with this year. I'll never fucking forget this summer. I'm so tired of the war with that. I get it, I'll do it.
I was mobbed at my work. I'm not sure why. It's stuff like this all. The damn. Time.
 
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sanlcx

sanlcx

Member
Oct 21, 2023
84
Zero, as i'm still alive
 
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lifelite

lifelite

Member
Dec 8, 2023
43
Alcohol. But I can't do it while sober, so I feel kinda stuck
 
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hi-okbye

hi-okbye

7.7.2023<3
May 5, 2023
656
i've tried about 10 times already.
some of them were failed even if i didn't forfeit, just ended up surviving, a lot of them i gave up after a while because it wasn't seeming to work
 
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LetMeBeSad

LetMeBeSad

Student
Sep 21, 2023
162
I don't really know if it's justified to be calling it an attempt even. But I tried shooting myself with a 9mm in the brainstem trough the mouth a few times earlier this year. But obviously that didn't work.
I think every time you put that gun in your mouth it's an attempt. Doesn't matter if SI or whatever reason, stopped you. I have had one solid attempt where SI did not get in the way. But I also spent a year checking in with a loaded shotgun once or so a week. I count them as attempts despite not being able to pull the trigger (I actually kind of lump them together and call it one big attempt, for simplicity). I wanted to die and they were not entirely impulsive either.
 
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Sylveon

Sylveon

??/??/20??
Oct 10, 2023
491
One time I tried to "impulsively" slice my wrist, thinking that it would just be a matter of making a cut and then passing out (I barely knew anything about CTB methods back then). In hindsight, that cut was pretty pathetic, lol.

More recently, I went beside the rails but then backed out like I was never suicidal to begin with.

I don't believe either of these count as a serious attempt or even an attempt, but anyway...
 
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G

gbi2

Specialist
Jul 10, 2023
311
Overdose 30 years ago abandoned after realising my plan wouldn't work and someone being available to speak to.
Overdose last year failed due to vomiting and then ending up in hospital after falling and faceplanting the ground.

Tried partial and night night lots of times in the past 3 months but failed each time.
 
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Aim

Aim

🤍
Sep 12, 2023
945
Nb! It didn't not work because i missed. (For the people that is looking into this method, it does have a very high success rate trough the mouth. Using hollow bullets!)

I think every time you put that gun in your mouth it's an attempt. Doesn't matter if SI or whatever reason, stopped you. I have had one solid attempt where SI did not get in the way. But I also spent a year checking in with a loaded shotgun once or so a week. I count them as attempts despite not being able to pull the trigger (I actually kind of lump them together and call it one big attempt, for simplicity). I wanted to die and they were not entirely impulsive either.
Yeah, maybe you are right. Idk. I mean the intention is there, so definitely it's not that. And if it wasn't possible for the SI to get THAT violently high 🙊🙈 then it would have happened. (Idk, I changed method pretty quick, had to, couldn't get myself to do it. Even if this still is until this day the best way to go in my opinion) Oh wow really!?! What happend the time your SI didn't kick in? 😱 very sorry about that though! Are you still wanting to use this method?

😅Really? That's so funny! I did the same!! 😂 many times a day, but that was just to get more comfy around it though.
 
N

numbed one

Student
May 22, 2023
192
Wow how did a nail in the wall not pull out during that?


I'm guessing with this happens you just tell them it was an accidental misdose?


What did you try and how much longer did that add to your imprisonment there?


You'd be so reluctant because you'd miss posting on Sasu 😝
Nop i told them it was a suicide attempt
 
Aim

Aim

🤍
Sep 12, 2023
945
Wow how did a nail in the wall not pull out during that?


I'm guessing with this happens you just tell them it was an accidental misdose?


What did you try and how much longer did that add to your imprisonment there?


You'd be so reluctant because you'd miss posting on Sasu 😝

Hey wait a minute I forgot you're from Europe and not America so how did you get a hold of a loaded gun ? 😏
I went traveling in the states for 4 months earlier this year.
 
LetMeBeSad

LetMeBeSad

Student
Sep 21, 2023
162
Yeah, maybe you are right. Idk. I mean the intention is there, so definitely it's not that. And if it wasn't possible for the SI to get THAT violently high 🙊🙈 then it would have happened. (Idk, I changed method pretty quick, had to, couldn't get myself to do it. Even if this still is until this day the best way to go in my opinion) Oh wow really!?! What happend the time your SI didn't kick in? 😱 very sorry about that though! Are you still wanting to use this method?

😅Really? That's so funny! I did the same!! 😂 many times a day, but that was just to get more comfy around it though.
I was younger and had moved back into my parents house. My mother came back much earlier than I expected and found me in my room. She got my neck out of the cable and performed CPR. When I woke up, I was so disappointed. I was ready that time for sure.

Gun is easily the best available way to do it. I have had a violent life too. I'm a prime candidate for gun death. Still couldn't do it lol.
 
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Aim

Aim

🤍
Sep 12, 2023
945
I went traveling in the states for 4 months earlier this year.
But I am dual citizenship.
I was younger and had moved back into my parents house. My mother came back much earlier than I expected and found me in my room. She got my neck out of the cable and performed CPR. When I woke up, I was so disappointed. I was ready that time for sure.

Gun is easily the best available way to do it. I have had a violent life too. I'm a prime candidate for gun death. Still couldn't do it lol.
😱 oh no! That really sucks! Yess, idk how the rate is with overcoming si with guns. But it's definitely a fast and reliable method for those that choose this!
 
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Aim

Aim

🤍
Sep 12, 2023
945
You're new here but one cannot commit suicide and still be alive! I think you meant 'attempt' 😁
Off course! You didnt know? It happens all the time here at sasu.
 
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thinvy

thinvy

Woefully Yours, Luka
Aug 7, 2023
210
idk if my attempts count bc SI won before I could really accomplish much of anything, or I couldn't outlast the hunger strikes (body was still in decent condition then), but I genuinely can't tell you how many times I have attempted. i really only remember one in clear enough detail and it failed both bc of SI and bc I couldn't have my family member mourn me while she was already inconsolable over the loss of my father to the point of near killing herself passively
 
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Salmon can't swim

Salmon can't swim

Drowning in a sea of despair
Dec 9, 2023
25
What is the reason for the failure?
I don't really have any technical attempts.
1. Tried to slit my wrists but the knife was so dull it might as well have been a spoon (really, I think a spoon might have been sharper).
2. Tried to OD on ibuprofen, and idk if I just didn't have enough...? Nothing happened (which was disappointing 4 me as I was lowkey kicking my feet giggling at the thought that I would be dead in a few hrs). Probs for the best, I hear OD can be quite painful.
3. Tried helium asphyxiation. I think I got some brain damage from that or smt bc I've noticed a noticeable decline in my IQ since then.
4. Tried to hang myself recently, but maybe I'm just stupid and can't tie a noose right, but I got out pretty easily when SI kicked in (and spent the rest of the night staring at the knot, hating iron for not becoming steel).
I don't really count them as attempts though cos any of them could have worked if I had even a little common sense or determination, so I just say I did it for attention (even though I hid it as much as possible)
 
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