No this was snorting powder. I don't know if it was fentanyl or a fentanyl analogue but I took a tiny amount and my body absolutely freaked out. Apparently that's the normal reaction when you've never tried an opioid before and you take something as powerful as fentanyl or it's analogues.
booplesnoot34
I’ll miss the winter, a world of fragile things
- Feb 8, 2023
- 77
4 times.
First one was trying to jump off when i was kid but couldnt do it, that was when my intention was to unalive myself, second one was hanging but i was stopped, third one was overdosing and it was the only one where i took every single pill i could see in the counter bs i survived and i hated it cause i was really sick i threw up everything, fourth time I tried jumping off a beach cliff with rocks at the bottom, but i was so scared of the height.
At those times, i didnt know this forum existed. I have found methods that will actually work better this time though.
First one was trying to jump off when i was kid but couldnt do it, that was when my intention was to unalive myself, second one was hanging but i was stopped, third one was overdosing and it was the only one where i took every single pill i could see in the counter bs i survived and i hated it cause i was really sick i threw up everything, fourth time I tried jumping off a beach cliff with rocks at the bottom, but i was so scared of the height.
At those times, i didnt know this forum existed. I have found methods that will actually work better this time though.
booplesnoot34
I’ll miss the winter, a world of fragile things
- Feb 8, 2023
- 77
Tried asphyxiating a couple times. Weak attempt to slit my throat. Stood on the window ledge on the ninth floor a few times. Laid in the middle of the road and on train tracks but it was in the middle of the night so no trains/cars came. During a mental breakdown I half heartedly tried to drown myself in the bath. I've made so many plans (mostly involving hanging from a bridge, like tying the noose to a sturdy rail and jumping off the edge) but I'm a coward and a failure. I have a bottle of 500 650mg acetaminophen that I'd like to crush into a powder and add to a smoothie to chug. My interest in oleander and poisonous plants has recently been piqued as a method.
TapeMachine
perpetually confused
- Jan 12, 2023
- 406
Two.
*1st time: benzos + (drank) windex... I know, stupid. It was impulsive, and I'd done zero research. Called for help anyway, though I now know I could have saved myself the huge ambulance bill.
- I was not involuntarily commited, but I did have to partake in a mandatory assessment to determine my mental stability or whatever
*2nd: tried to sever my radial arteries. Again, it was very impulsive. I'd been drinking a ton of vodka, but I did a small amount of research that was rushed, which simply wasn't enough.
-I've detailed this attempt in a couple past threads. Let me see if I can find and link it real quick... Ok, here it is, though the goodbye post is not my own:
sanctioned-suicide.net
*1st time: benzos + (drank) windex... I know, stupid. It was impulsive, and I'd done zero research. Called for help anyway, though I now know I could have saved myself the huge ambulance bill.
- I was not involuntarily commited, but I did have to partake in a mandatory assessment to determine my mental stability or whatever
*2nd: tried to sever my radial arteries. Again, it was very impulsive. I'd been drinking a ton of vodka, but I did a small amount of research that was rushed, which simply wasn't enough.
-I've detailed this attempt in a couple past threads. Let me see if I can find and link it real quick... Ok, here it is, though the goodbye post is not my own:
Hopefully goodbye!
I'm ready. I've got everything I need to do this. I have some painkillers that will hopefully give me some comfort. I have some allergy pills, which should be enough to help me get to sleep if the painkillers help at all (doubt it). My method is cutting, which I know is low success rate but it...
sanctioned-suicide.net
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CentreMid
Sorry
- Aug 23, 2018
- 478
SpiderLink
they/them
- Apr 3, 2023
- 361
ThisIsLife
Specialist
- Feb 3, 2023
- 371
I've done a lot of self harm, including OD of OTC just to feel better for a bit. Some providers think my OD was an attempt but it wasn't. When I make that decision it will be final and there will be plans to prevent SI from being an option.
This is worrying as I'm planning to OD on a nitazene and RC benzo & had been told it would be peaceful.
Any opinions on this? @Proper Overdoser @DeadManLiving @Shadowlord900
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Just to clarify, this was the most horrifying experience of my entire life. I was freaking out in the ER for a good 4 hours (crying vomitting talking nonsense). It was a panic so severe it feels like you're actually dying. Even the time I gassed myself with carbon monoxide wasn't as bad.
Did you take benzos? I think I read that fent OD isn't peaceful unless you take it along with some kind of strong sedative.
You say you only snorted a tiny amount, maybe if you took a lot more you may have passed out?
I did not take benzos. And yeah I think If I snorted the entire bag I would have probably passed out at some point.
axxxu
Member
- Apr 8, 2023
- 69
Pidgeons_Sparrows
-flying rat
- Apr 16, 2023
- 627
0.
I am planning my upcoming CTB attempt very carefully and in detail.
Because I want my first CTB attempt to be my last. I know the odds are against me on that one but I think I can pull it off.
The thought of surviving a CTB attempt and all my friends and relatives that I have left finding out horrifies me.
I am planning my upcoming CTB attempt very carefully and in detail.
Because I want my first CTB attempt to be my last. I know the odds are against me on that one but I think I can pull it off.
The thought of surviving a CTB attempt and all my friends and relatives that I have left finding out horrifies me.
>10 which is pathetic and embarrassing. overdoses of OTC meds and antifreeze. I didn't know about better methods so I did what i could. Was too weak/scared to do something more violent (like jumping). Some were maybe just SH and I was convincing myself otherwise, I'm not sure. Now i found this forum thankfully, I will make sure I use a high success method and make this my final attempt.
CyanideBirthdayCake
Will die, one day
- Apr 16, 2023
- 2
I can't count then anymore, since stupidity, impulsivity and potentially being more suicidal than I give myself credit for leads to a lot, but a lot of methods have been tried (hanging, strangling, asphyxiation, OD, cyanide, wrist slitting) although I only have a few notable attempts, mostly ones that had more effort put into them)
The time the makeshift noose was too stretchy and jumping did nothing, the time I think I almost died, the ibuprofen OD (which I went to hospital for 7 hours for just to find out nothing happened) and the time I did bad research and didn't have enough cherry pits for cyanide poisoning
The rest feel insignificant tbh, since SI and my kinda ironic avoidance of pain made me quit early :/
Working on succeeding in partial hanging now though, and as soon as I find the arteries I need I should succeed
The time the makeshift noose was too stretchy and jumping did nothing, the time I think I almost died, the ibuprofen OD (which I went to hospital for 7 hours for just to find out nothing happened) and the time I did bad research and didn't have enough cherry pits for cyanide poisoning
The rest feel insignificant tbh, since SI and my kinda ironic avoidance of pain made me quit early :/
Working on succeeding in partial hanging now though, and as soon as I find the arteries I need I should succeed
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None of those worked? If you aren't comfortable sharing I understand. I just was curious because I'm considering partial hanging and wanting to try to get some fentanyl but I'm not sure where to get it. I've never purchased illegal drugs.
dory
dorothy
- Jul 1, 2023
- 51
Don't even know because I can't tell whats considered an attempt or not sometimes. Ive been drinking random cleaners I can find (bleach for example) and i've taken stolen medication like xanax, also cutting has been a issue for me for yearsss. Thats where I cant tell if its a CTB attempt or just coping.
Pain killers and alcohol didn't work? Did you throw them up?
May I ask what happened when you tried partial hanging? I'm thinking of trying it. The benzos and alcohol didn't do anything?
I don't want to tell you what to do but I wouldn't drink bleach or cleaners.
I don't know if that would kill someone but I know you can burn your esophagus and it's very painful.May I ask why partial hanging didn't work?
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Somewhere around 7 or 8? Pills/alcohol, hanging, suffocation, exposure, and a semi. Some of them I tried more than once obviously. Got taken in by the cops before I got to the highway on that last one which is why I am still here :p
Red Moon
Warlock
- Sep 21, 2022
- 722
I had several suicide attempts with an overdose of pills, but only one where I was really serious and almost died.
Next time I try to kill myself I take another overdose of pills and cut my veins in both arms but I take more pills than last time and then I hope I really die!
Nothing will stop me from doing it!
Next time I try to kill myself I take another overdose of pills and cut my veins in both arms but I take more pills than last time and then I hope I really die!
Nothing will stop me from doing it!
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tgirl
Member
- Jul 17, 2023
- 9
I've had about 13 my best was of on heroin filled the needle all the way and injected it passed out woke up in a hospital no idea how I got there turns out my heart stopped once and they brought me back I wish they gave DNRs to suicidal person that could have been a one and done situation
IDontLikeMyself
Member
- Nov 8, 2022
- 30
I tried to cut my wrists once and failed miserably. I was desperate as fuck. Have had many close calls to jumping in front of a train but never did. Hopefully 2nd time i try something it isn´t just an attempt
ctb-soon
Student
- Jul 12, 2023
- 166
One major attempt as a teenager where I was fully suspended. I blacked out and woke up on the floor with the cloth that created a noose with, had let go. I was young and didn't do it right
As an adult, quite a few testing attempts are usually partial. They were all about finding the crucial limit. Where I would just say - "just let it happen," but I never got there. SI would set in with that hesitation. But I have learned.
As an adult, quite a few testing attempts are usually partial. They were all about finding the crucial limit. Where I would just say - "just let it happen," but I never got there. SI would set in with that hesitation. But I have learned.
lazrli
𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙩𝙨 ..
- Jul 18, 2023
- 3
axxxu
Member
- Apr 8, 2023
- 69
I was young at the time, I don't think I really knew how to properly hang myself. From what I remember I wasn't doing it properly so I was just constricting my airways until I ran out of oxygen. Didn't work.
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