Discussion How lucky do you consider someone who has SN?

[SynthPower]

I have SN here with me, but there's something that holds me back from taking it, i don't know why. I consistently think about how i would look like after dead, or how bad i'll smell. I really don't know how long it will take to kill me, how long it will take to someone come to my room, how bad it will be...

Like, SN isn't peaceful, but is the best we can get, once Nembutal, for example, isn't available. I'm scared of how bad it might be the symptoms. Imagening how my mother will react when she notices how blue my lips, fingers etc will look like.

I don't have access to a psychologist, but i feel i have some mental issues. I don't wanna live anymore, but everyone takes it like it is a bad thing.

 

[Zerengin96]

Very lucky, i wish i had it but it aint easy to get where i am from

 

[LaVieEnRose]

What's blocking access to a therapist?

I feel fortunate to have acquired SN, especially considering restrictions were implemented shortly after. It may not leave you pretty, but it leaves you prettier than after having jumped, which is what I was considering before learning about SN.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I actually feel really irritated when the phrase 'you're so lucky' comes into play. I guess there's an element of chance/ luck to everything- but most of life... and 'obtaining' death comes down to effort. My friend once said to me- 'Do you believe in luck, or do you think people make their own luck?' Largely, I feel it's the latter.

I guess some people are more 'lucky' than others in being in areas of the world where it's easier to obtain SN. Still, there are plenty of people on here talking about waiting for their order to clear customs- so I feel like it's theoretically possible to obtain in a lot of places. I'm saying this largely to try and kick my own arse into action...

Point is- you earnt the money to pay for it and took the risk in ordering it- it was only 'lucky' in that it made its way safely through the postal system/ customs to reach you.

As now having it readily available to CTB with- as your post mainly focuses on- sorry- went off on a tangent. I can see both the positive and negative. I hope I'd feel some relief knowing I was all set up to do it when the time comes but I totally sympathise with you- I'm sure I'd still feel a lot of fear about actually doing it. It does sound less painful and fairly reliable if done according to the guidelines but it's still a risk. None of us know how our own individual bodies will react.

Your post talks initially about concerns over being found. Are there ways you could maybe mitigate this? I'd definitely want to TRY and prevent being found by anyone who wasn't law enforcement. Can you somehow 'block' the area you attempt to do it and put up a sign to call the authorities? Honestly, I doubt any death is all that 'pretty' and I imagine we all start to smell. I do get it though- none of these things are very pleasant to think about.

I guess it's a balancing act. I suppose- for those who attempt CTB, the day comes where the pain of living becomes enough to counteract all the other worries. I wish you well, whatever you decide.

 

[evolutionerror]

If someone wanted to die and got fatally struck by lightning, I would consider that lucky.

I just ordered SN and it got delivered.

 

[GasMonkey]

Like, SN isn't peaceful, but is the best we can get

Nope, SCBA is better than SN (waaaay better) and 100% peaceful.
SCUBA on Positive Pressure (which works similar to SCBA) is also better.

Hell, even the good old ExitBag (which I consider a deprecated method that has been superseded by SCBA) is declared better than SN in the PPeH.

 

[Un-]

Call me a hurtful bastard, but I get legitimately jealous of people that have SN, N or something similar. Regardless if it's the most peaceful exit, or of the possible symptoms, I still prefer it for my reasons alone.

It's disrespectful as fuck to say this, but when someone backs out of an attempt with those methods, I feel a tinge of pain. Like.. Watching someone throw away a full meal when you yourself are starving. Stupid analogy, but you get the point.

 

[S like Siren]

Very lucky,if only i could put my hands on some Sn,i could finally end all this pain

 

[FuneralCry]

I do consider those who have SN with them right now to be very lucky. They won't feel so trapped here and they have a way to exit this world for when the time is right. I do think that it must be a relief having a method like that which is not so risky and is not as awful as many of the other methods.
So many people have succeeded with SN after all so of course it's reliable. I just think that personally actually going through with suicide would be easier if the method is a poison rather than a different kind of method, at least for me it would likely be easier to overcome the SI. Of course those with N and those who have already left this world are the most lucky. I envy them, as of course to me being free from this world is ideal.

 

[Darkover]

i perfear n over sn anyday to much can go wrong with sn plus its a horrible way to die

 

[DreamEnd]

i perfear n over sn anyday to much can go wrong with sn plus its a horrible way to die

why is it horrible do you think?

 

[Darkover]

why is it horrible do you think?

your blood clots up stopping blood from flowing around the body to the brain, breathlessness, sharp chest pain herat beating fast vomting everywhere

 

[makethepainstop]

Very lucky,if only i could put my hands on some Sn,i could finally end ain

Dude if those of us possessing sn were lucky, we wouldn't be on this forum to begin with.

Call me a hurtful bastard, but I get legitimately jealous of people that have SN, N or something similar. Regardless if it's the most peaceful exit, or of the possible symptoms, I still prefer it for my reasons alone.

It's disrespectful as fuck to say this, but when someone backs out of an attempt with those methods, I feel a tinge of pain. Like.. Watching someone throw away a full meal when you yourself are starving. Stupid analogy, but you get the point.

I know what you mean and how you feel. Unfortunately the reality is this, if anyone tried to mail or FedEx you some of their sn, it could be a trap. If someone were to try to mail or FedEx you some of their supply....they could be law enforcement, or you could he law enforcement. Then of course if you got some sn from a person and ctb, then your family members would be demanding that person be jailed and or sued. Same would apply to any other drug or compound. Unfortunately that is how things work. Hope you can find your way.

 

[lifeisadream]

I wouldn't consider those with SN to be lucky. They've clearly thought long & hard about methods/options/ctb. It also still needs a lot of bravery to fight SI to take the stuff.

For years my chosen exit method has always been jumping from the famous cliffs. If the SI was too vile or I was unable to evade the patrollers, next viable method is partial hanging. Despite knowing about the SN method since 2018, I stupidly discarded it because I have a major puke phobia. But, having read accounts, numerous threads & Stan's guide, I do want this to be my backup plan. I'm just seriously p***ed with myself for not considering this method earlier when SN was readily available including on Etsy.

I've not asked for the infamous SN source for fear of being told off, told I'm lazy, or worse berated. Instead, I've researched on the web & believe I've found the IC site. Although I'm VERY afraid to ask this favour but, if someone would please allow me to PM them with the site I've found to check it's the right one I'd be eternally grateful.

I can't afford to get scammed which is why I've not ordered from the site.

 

[S like Siren]

Dude if those of us possessing sn were lucky, we wouldn't be on this forum to begin with.

 

[makethepainstop]

Love your hug emoji, God yes I could use one!

 

[S like Siren]

Love your hug emoji, God yes I could use one!

❤

 

[SynthPower]

What's blocking access to a therapist?

I feel fortunate to have acquired SN, especially considering restrictions were implemented shortly after. It may not leave you pretty, but it leaves you prettier than after having jumped, which is what I was considering before learning about SN.

Money. I can't afford therapy, it is expensive here where i live, and i don't have a job anymore

 

[Jupit3rs]

I feel a sort of envy for those who have SN or N... A healthy one tho, I'm happy they have those methods, which are fairly safer than others (mine is hanging... So yeah...). I think its natural to think this way sometimes, some of us have the means, some of us don't... Thats life for you.

 

[Zegers]

A few years ago i would have lectured why i believe in science -and therefore why i believe in SN- but not today, i no longer try to change point of view and i don't explain mine either, just don't care. I think someone with SN is lucky because nobody has a unique product that takes you to the afterlife in a matter of hours -unless it's something painful- but after that you have to get over SI. I think it's luckier who doesn't even think about ctb and has a nice life.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Money. I can't afford therapy, it is expensive here where i live, and i don't have a job anymore

I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds like you want to give recovery a shot. It sucks how prohibitively expensive therapy and other treatments can be. People will chastise you for wanting to die, but no one's going to pay for your treatment. Unemployment definitely doesn't help anything. If any part of you wants to live, I suppose that area of life will need to be addressed. What do you think?

 

[gimzero]

I have to kg of it and where i live no one use it all go with hanging method!

 

[SynthPower]

If any part of you wants to live, I suppose that area of life will need to be addressed. What do you think?

I do have "wanna-live" moments in my life, but it happens only when i'm distracted and creating scenes in my head (which makes my heart break into pieces knowing that i'm in such situation), i always see myself happy in my thoughts, but then i realise i created once again fake scenarios that i wouldn't ever be in. When i get to be on real life and routine, i rapidly lose my "happiness". I'm sure some part of me wants to live, but you know, life doesn't treats anybody else well, and i don't wanna suffer. I don't accept the way that life goes on, but alone you can't change the world, don't wanna live if it's going to happen things that i don't want.

 

[akirat9]

I do have "wanna-live" moments in my life, but it happens only when i'm distracted and creating scenes in my head (which makes my heart break into pieces knowing that i'm in such situation), i always see myself happy in my thoughts, but then i realise i created once again fake scenarios that i wouldn't ever be in. When i get to be on real life and routine, i rapidly lose my "happiness". I'm sure some part of me wants to live, but you know, life doesn't treats anybody else well, and i don't wanna suffer. I don't accept the way that life goes on, but alone you can't change the world, don't wanna live if it's going to happen things that i don't want.

i am the same. i too have these wanna-live moments, which explains why i have taken sn still.
for me my scenes are directly from my game Last Fate. More specfically a particular scene during World #2 I call it, where the emotional music trakc plays during one of the most painful events personally for me.
Just like that it breaks my heart knowing no one will ever get to experience this game as it is very reminiscent of classic jrpgs.

i don't want to suffer either. if it weren't for money i would. i hate money. it doesn't bring me happiness, making games do
b
--
i dont know if i see myself as lucky because of those moments i have. no i dont want to truly die but with pain i feel its the only relief. i have toomuch of it

 

[Jadzia]

Nope, SCBA is better than SN (waaaay better) and 100% peaceful.
SCUBA on Positive Pressure (which works similar to SCBA) is also better.

Hell, even the good old ExitBag (which I consider a deprecated method that has been superseded by SCBA) is declared better than SN in the PPeH.

I agree. I've got SN but I think I'm going to go the SCBA route now.

 

[👁️👃👁️]

your blood clots up stopping blood from flowing around the body to the brain, breathlessness, sharp chest pain herat beating fast vomting everywhere

Do what?
I could be wrong and this user could be wrong as well but I'm just going to share this because this same discussion was held in another thread.

"Sodium nitrite does not "clog" vascular pathways

Sodium Nitrite induces methemoglobinemia. Oxygen is carried through your bloodstream by hemoglobin, a protein that's attached to your red blood cells. Sodium nitrite reacts with blood to create methemoglobin. Methemoglobin does not carry oxygen well and, when it replaces hemoglobin your consumption of O2 exceeds what is being delivered." @Jrmull1993

Although it does seem that it would because it does thicken your blood it seems.
@MorningFrost96

 

[Hollowillow]

Nope, SCBA is better than SN (waaaay better) and 100% peaceful.
SCUBA on Positive Pressure (which works similar to SCBA) is also better.

Hell, even the good old ExitBag (which I consider a deprecated method that has been superseded by SCBA) is declared better than SN in the PPeH

Have sn. Felt lucky. Then frustrated can't take it after i eat.

How much is SCBA. One buy or build like ingeneer? Brain broken. No can.

i perfear n over sn anyday to much can go wrong with sn plus its a horrible way to die

What can wrong. Why horrible?

your blood clots up stopping blood from flowing around the body to the brain, breathlessness, sharp chest pain herat beating fast vomting everywhere

Blood clot? Not just anemia? Can stroke. Can brain damage. Never heard can stroke. Where you see info? Brain bad already.

Do what?
I could be wrong and this user could be wrong as well but I'm just going to share this because this same discussion was held in another thread.

"Sodium nitrite does not "clog" vascular pathways

Sodium Nitrite induces methemoglobinemia. Oxygen is carried through your bloodstream by hemoglobin, a protein that's attached to your red blood cells. Sodium nitrite reacts with blood to create methemoglobin. Methemoglobin does not carry oxygen well and, when it replaces hemoglobin your consumption of O2 exceeds what is being delivered." @Jrmull1993

Although it does seem that it would because it does thicken your blood it seems.
@MorningFrost96

Much obliged. (Rich & morty reference but i mean it in a good way)

 

[MelodyCymbal]

Nope, SCBA is better than SN (waaaay better) and 100% peaceful.
SCUBA on Positive Pressure (which works similar to SCBA) is also better.

Hell, even the good old ExitBag (which I consider a deprecated method that has been superseded by SCBA) is declared better than SN in the PPeH.

Why is SCBA better? Is there a link to an explanation or tutorial?

Why is SCBA better? Is there a link to an explanation or tutorial?

Is SCBA better than SCUBA?

 

[Dominicka]

I do consider those who have SN with them right now to be very lucky. They won't feel so trapped here and they have a way to exit this world for when the time is right. I do think that it must be a relief having a method like that which is not so risky and is not as awful as many of the other methods.
So many people have succeeded with SN after all so of course it's reliable. I just think that personally actually going through with suicide would be easier if the method is a poison rather than a different kind of method, at least for me it would likely be easier to overcome the SI. Of course those with N and those who have already left this world are the most lucky. I envy them, as of course to me being free from this world is ideal.

I've seen you say this a bunch - how you envy people that have SN. Curious, why don't you just order it?

 

[itsallpointless]

idk. I feel more fortunate to be able to use an SCBA nitrogen setup. Looks much less stressful besides the setting up phase which is a pain in the ass