How long have you been wanting to ctb?

[Nortu]

Started to think about it in a genuine sense around end of elementary so at least 8 years but could be more for all I know. I cant recollect my memories too well if I ever didn't want to ctb

 

[sadslime]

Since i was a small child, maybe around 10? I'm 23 now, i wanted to jump in front of the train that went past my school and 13ish years later i still wish i did, everything only got worse.

 

[Arachno]

Since around 2020

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I have suicidal thoughts since about 5-6 years depending on external reasons. Sometimes more sometimes less, currently I'm in a phase with hardly any suicidal thoughts. But this may change at any time due to external factors.

 

[divinemistress36]

It first started when I was 13. I am now 38. I dealt with a lot of feelings that I wasn't wanted by anybody, family included. I made my first attempt to hang myself then, but was found and taken by ambulance to ED and then admitted. More recently I have been fighting depression and anxiety since 2018. I have lost 3 of my grandparents, my great uncle, and some long time friends. My finances have been hard to handle. I have had three brain surgeries, one spinal surgery, and one hand surgery in that time also. I have tried at least once a year to ctb using different methods. I have been admitted to a mental hospital three times in that time. I am now working out a new way to ctb.

I'm so sorry you have been through a lot. I had a stroke at 29 so I understand the brain issues

 

[thesilentoceans]

Since 2010

 

[onyx559]

Started to think about it in a genuine sense around end of elementary so at least 8 years but could be more for all I know. I cant recollect my memories too well if I ever didn't want to ctb

My first attempt was in the 5th grade. I'm now 25 still feeling the same.

 

[BlackMoon]

It's been at least 8 years now.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I first had suicidal thoughts when I was 10. For 34 years, they have been somewhere in my head- sometimes in the background. Sometimes at the forefront. The past couple of years have been especially bad in terms of how often I think about it- although- I have had periods in which I have been more unhappy and desperate than this.

 

[Momrigsray]

438 days +
438 days +

 

[FutureHanger]

depends, can't remember when I started having episodes and urges but I've been sure I'll do it for close to 2 months

 

[cosmic_traveler]

For 32 years we've wanted to go night-night.

 

[Feux]

Seven years.

 

[divinemistress36]

This is heartbreaking nobody should have to go through this much pain. I hope everyone someday finds peace

 

[accountnamerequired]

I've been off and on since like 15 but consistently the past few years (23 now)

 

[Ironborn]

10 years now I think, not always at my minds forefront but always lurking there somewhere.

 

[almondmilk]

i've been suicidal (like thinking about suicide and self harming , but not actually doing research ) since 2021-ish , and suicidal like seriously (where i think about it daily and sh daily and researching and actually wanting it) for the past 6 months

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I guess ever since I knew what death was and what life for the majority was like.. which happened at a super young age

 

[passivethought121]

Since 2020. I've had my episodes before that, but there were distinct breaks. I'd be severely numb and disconnected for months, and then I'd feel "happy". The pandemic locked it in. Each year has had less than 5 days ideation-free.

 

[LossOfMe]

I guess... Around 6 years already. Time does fly.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Have felt suicidal thoughts since around 2005 when my parents first separated and I was afraid I'd die alone. Yesterday I made the decision to truly commence my plans to CTB so that's cool.

 

[divinemistress36]

Have felt suicidal thoughts since around 2005 when my parents first separated and I was afraid I'd die alone. Yesterday I made the decision to truly commence my plans to CTB so that's cool.

I admire your bravery and hope you find peace on your journey

 

[BuckyDee2036]

Since February of 2021. That was the nail in the coffin for me. I can't believe it has been 3 years and I haven't ctb but I know it will be over by 2025 where I can legally purchase a shotgun. Can't wait for 2025
Since February of 2021. That was the nail in the coffin for me. I can't believe it has been 3 years and I haven't ctb but I know it will be over by 2025 where I can legally purchase a shotgun. Can't wait for 2025