How long have you been suicidal for

[piddincir]

For me it's only been 4 weeks since I found my wife had done the same, it's been the worst month of my life and life can't get any worse for me so I really empathise with all of you who have been struggling for so long.

I know for her it's something she first attempted when she was 12 years old - she died at 37 so this would have been back in 1998, so really pre internet. Her mother was more worried about what everyone else would think that the safety of her child and didn't send her for therapy due to the stigma of this back in the 90s - god that really was a fucked up time.

She had attempted a couple of times in her teen years after some awful sexual abuse and a couple of times in her early 20s before we met. She had tried once before in our 10 year relationship (around year 2) but I would say this wasn't a serious attempt. She was strong, very strong but had always suffered for SI and I know first hand how quickly this can spiral.

 

[dreaming_of_pearl]

9 years. 2013 about

 

[Nlis2244]

It should be exactly 3 years

 

[Kit1]

Since I was 14 and now in my late 40s. Really struggled as a teenager and then was okay handling life most of the time. The last two years have been just hell.

 

[Forever Sleep]

33 years- to varying degrees. First had suicidal thoughts when I was 10. There have been better and worse times but the thoughts have never gone completely. It's been especially bad the past few years.

 

[crane.tanya]

I remember being like .. 7 or something and just dreaming about disappearing passively. it became 'active' when i was 12.

 

[Nortu]

From what I can remember, around 9 years. Though I cant remember before that so could be longer for all I know

 

[onetimereject]

8 years, i think the count will have to stop soon enough.

 

[venin.n]

9 years on and off but mostly off in the first period

9 is the magic number

For me it's only been 4 weeks since I found my wife had done the same, it's been the worst month of my life and life can't get any worse for me so I really empathise with all of you who have been struggling for so long.

I know for her it's something she first attempted when she was 12 years old - she died at 37 so this would have been back in 1998, so really pre internet. Her mother was more worried about what everyone else would think that the safety of her child and didn't send her for therapy due to the stigma of this back in the 90s - god that really was a fucked up time.

She had attempted a couple of times in her teen years after some awful sexual abuse and a couple of times in her early 20s before we met. She had tried once before in our 10 year relationship (around year 2) but I would say this wasn't a serious attempt. She was strong, very strong but had always suffered for SI and I know first hand how quickly this can spiral.

I'm so sorry…

Much love and empathy for your situation

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I've never wished to exist from what I can remember, wanting to die in my case is simply the result of becoming aware, it's being aware of how existence is just undesirable suffering, I'm not meant to suffer in this hellish reality. For me death means peace, the only comfort lies in no longer being burdened with existence.

 

[sserafim]

Ever since I was little, I never wanted to live past 18.

 

[mertvets]

passively for as long as i can remember.
actively for close to 4 years now...

i've been trying to soldier through. my grip on hope is tight, it might rip my soul.

 

[Unhumanly.]

Long enough, wishing to be free from this imprisonment and arrive to where my soul flew

 

[stillvoices]

I think before I was 11. 5 years old I didn't understand what it was but at 11 I tried. I was disassociated at the time. Didn't know what I was doing. I've tried a few other times in my teens and then if I remember correctly late 30's almost succeeded. I'm 48 now. So too long.

 

[Andrew10]

Since I was 13 years old, I'm 19 now.

literally just like me

About 9-10 years for me

Since 2018 the last good year I had

 

[Qua]

I can't even remember honestly. If I had to guess I'd say about 5? Maybe 6

 

[Smelly_ballz]

9-11 years. Can't really remember anything anymore.

No matter how long it has been for you, reader, you are valid! Whether it has been 3 months or 3 decades, your thoughts and feelings are valid.

 

[Cute_&_Loving]

Passively since my dad died so its been 10 years..... Actively for the past 3 years.....

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

From the end of April 2018.

 

[retardkid]

Since I was 8 years old

 

[backtoearth]

about 10 years (i think), i'm 22 now and can't imagine a time when i truly wanted to live

 

[nopointinlivingg]

Over 20 years.

 

[kilowatt]

Around 6 years. I've acted on it before but I was just a foolish teenager.

 

[Timelapse]

24 years.

Twenty-Four Miserable Years.

 

[L0nely]

5-6 years

 

[Heading to Darkness]

30 years but never more so than now

 

[deadbody]

6 years

 

[piddincir]

4 week 23 hours and 28 minutes

 

[Vesiira]

about 10 years?

 

[voyager]

667 years. That's what you guys total in a rough estimate based on the answers you gave and a minimum age of 18. Just thought you might like to know.

Anyway, 30 years here. Was most active 7 years in. Now just waiting to end it as perfectly as I can.