Help How honest can I be with my therapist?

[Harrow]

Basically what the title says: How honest can I be about my CTB thoughts?

I recently signed up for therapy again after years of going without it. I've been in an especially bad spot this last year (why I'm on this site lol) and I want to give it an honest shot and "open up" as much as I can without getting sent somewhere, which would only make my mental health worse.

In case you're curious, I've had horrible experiences with therapy in the past but it had more to do with the therapists themselves than the mental health system. One kept telling me to go to church and blamed my depression on my sexuality. Another one would just show me TedTalks about anxiety every time I brought up a struggle I was having. Ect. None of them tried to really help me. But after talking to a friend who had good therapy experiences, I decided to try again.

 

[OrphicEnd]

One kept telling me to go to church and blamed my depression on my sexuality. Another one would just show me TedTalks about anxiety every time I brought up a struggle I was having

Did they got their diploma in a happy meal ?

They're not supposed to repeat what you tell them, so in theory you can be completely honest.
If your honesty bothers them, it is better to flee, therapy must be done with the therapist and not against him. I really hope you find someone competent.
Best wishes

 

[bluesoapyskies]

ahah the ted talks one hits hard. that or some ridiculous podcast recommendation. tread with caution. i dont recommend telling a therapist youre not close with or someone youve just meet for the first time. establish a strong relationship with one, one who you know you can trust, so that that way when you bring up feelings towards ctb they wont hit the big red button.

its ironic that these professionals freak out so much at the mention of suicide when its like why do you think im here?

best of luck to you. finding a good therapist is hard but from the people i know who have found one they like, theyve always said its worth it.

 

[strawb12]

A lot depends on the therapist. I have a friend who told their therapist how they were going to ctb, the date, & that they had all the materials & they didn't tell their parents. I've also told my therapist I was having mild symptoms of suicidal ideation & she told my parents. Sorry that this isn't actually much help lol

 

[carac]

What's with the Ted talk and podcast hate? I found some to be immensely helpful. Is it a generation thing maybe, do all you young folks prefer tik toks instead? Sorry I'm joking a bit there.

Also, I don't know all the legalities but some professions are duty bound to inform others if they think you are in danger which can be very damaging to trust.

 

[Harrow]

What's with the Ted talk and podcast hate? I found some to be immensely helpful. Is it a generation thing maybe, do all you young folks prefer tik toks instead? Sorry I'm joking a bit there.

No hate here! I love Ted Talk and podcast recommendations, it's just that my therapist would spend all my time showing me videos in my sessions instead of talking to me. Like a substitute teacher you'd have in high school or something lol.

Did they got their diploma in a happy meal ?

RIGHT? I should of at least reported the therapist who told me to go to church but I was still pretty young and afraid of conflict. She's still practicing unfortunately.

ahah the ted talks one hits hard. that or some ridiculous podcast recommendation. tread with caution. i dont recommend telling a therapist youre not close with or someone youve just meet for the first time. establish a strong relationship with one, one who you know you can trust, so that that way when you bring up feelings towards ctb they wont hit the big red button.

its ironic that these professionals freak out so much at the mention of suicide when its like why do you think im here?

best of luck to you. finding a good therapist is hard but from the people i know who have found one they like, theyve always said its worth it.

Yeah. I feel l like if anyone who has been severely depressed for a long time tells their therapist they've never had suicidal thoughts, they're probably lying. It shouldn't be so taboo. Thanks for the advice. Any recommendations on how to answer the inevitable "Have you ever had a history of suicidal thoughts?" question they always ask in the first session? I know even when I have alluded to having a history of thoughts in the past, I've been given horrified looks and have had to backtrack. I don't know how risky it is.

 

[carac]

No hate here! I love Ted Talk and podcast recommendations, it's just that my therapist would spend all my time showing me videos in my sessions instead of talking to me. Like a substitute teacher you'd have in high school or something lol.

Yea I can see how that would be frustrating, sounds like somebody who isn't very good at their job.

 

[lachrymost]

What's crazy is my current therapist has never once asked me if I'm planning suicide, and I constantly talk to her about being suicidal. I use the word. She's never seemed that concerned about it. It's quite bizarre, but I'm thankful for it. Every therapist is a risk and they're all different.

 

[FadingSunshine]

Usually they'll inform you if they are a mandated reporter and what they need to report, for me as long as I didn't have a date and concrete plans I could talk about suicidal ideation all I wanted.

 

[SexyIncél]

Yeah, it's important to ask exactly what they'll report you for. And what/how they record

Even then, I have case studies where they've lied. I had to help someone send an intimidating cease & desist letter against a patronizing shrink who threatened to break their promise

The less you can reliably ascertain their integrity, the more conservative you should probably be

Furthermore, your therapist may fear you'll betray them—they can get in trouble. Thus you should earn their trust as well. And to cover their ass, I've threatened to immediately execute a suicide pact if they betray me—so they have something to tell a judge

Relationships & trust takes some time to build

Another consideration: good shrinks probably have lots of patients. So they're not easy to find, or expensive af. Most just... wanted a nice smug job where they're treated better than food service

And there's diff kinds of therapy. It's like meditation — lots of people find experts at only one specific kind. So they think meditation sucks, when in reality they probably just got an inappropriate kind

 

[brownbear]

my therapist knows about my suicidal thoughts and ive even talked to him about how i would ctb (very vaguely). He also knows that i already had letters prepared, he told my parents. If he doesnt evaluate the situation as acute and extremely dangerous, he wont send me anywhere. Though i know he trusts me being honest with me, because my suicide would impact his ability to work (legally) too.

 

[CTBookOfLife]

Check the mandatory reporting laws where you live!

 

[Harrow]

Wow I didn't expect so many people to respond! Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences + giving advice. I feel a less anxious about going back now <3 Let's just hope this new therapist isn't as incompetent as my previous ones lol

 

[retardkid]

it depends on the therapist but generally i wouldnt talk about actually planning on doing anything but talking about suicidal thoughts is usually okay but most therapists draw the line at having plans or going thorugh with it, therapy is a great option but theres limits i hope you find a good one, and best of luck :)

 

[dead_milky]

my friend told me to ask a therapist about their policy on sh and ctb - some will immediately inform authorities/family, but some places have a more accepting policy where you can speak freely unless you clearly state you want to hurt yourself or someone else, like, not hypothetically but saying "I'm going to ctb".