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tomame

tomame

forlorn đź’”
Dec 28, 2025
90
i often feel like i'm one of the worst human beings to exist

that i'm deserving of nothing good

have fear that my thoughts and actions are inherently evil

i walk on eggshells in my own mind

i don't trust myself

i feel utterly helpless and feeble and feel i have no chance unless someone saves me

i didn't expect to make it past 27 and here im almost 31.

my partner of 10 years died and i'm consumed by guilt of it— for not only feeling responsible .. but, also because i wish it had been me instead
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
15,255
I'm sorry you struggle with so much self dislike. I always tend to wonder whether people that take time to self reflect and care about their actions in the first place can be so bad though. I imagine the outright bad people don't even care or take time to consider it.

As for natural selection though. I don't think it applies to the human world as much as the animal kingdom. Partly I suppose because people don't generally die from mental vulnerabilities. So- if they also reproduce- they reproduce those traits.

I suppose only we as individuals can try to guess why our parents thought it was a good idea to bring us here though.
 
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Pure Vanilla

Pure Vanilla

Member
Jun 4, 2025
48
Natural selection has basically been killed by modern society, you can have 5000 disabilities and still live 80 years in the modern age
 
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shinitai-chan

shinitai-chan

meow
Apr 10, 2026
18
tbh this is what i think of all the time. i'm completely useless and meaningless to this world, i live an extremely unhealthy lifestyle yet i'm still healthy(not sure abt this because i never did my healthcheck but at least my body feels good and healthy), and the talented creators or people that have goals in their lives facing health problems stopping them from what they want to do ruining their lives. like how is it fair? honestly i'd give my body to someone else erasing my consciousness from this world if that was possible
 
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Topaz111

Topaz111

I can feel this body in revolt
Mar 9, 2026
161
Natural selection has basically been killed by modern society, you can have 5000 disabilities and still live 80 years in the modern age
God I wish science actually focused on improving *quality* of life rather than just extending its length by all cost.
We've gotten so good at keeping dying humans alive who would absolutely not make it in the wild, but there are so many non-terminal illnesses that make your life absolutely miserable with little to no way of improving how you feel..
 
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tomame

tomame

forlorn đź’”
Dec 28, 2025
90
tbh this is what i think of all the time. i'm completely useless and meaningless to this world, i live an extremely unhealthy lifestyle yet i'm still healthy(not sure abt this because i never did my healthcheck but at least my body feels good and healthy), and the talented creators or people that have goals in their lives facing health problems stopping them from what they want to do ruining their lives. like how is it fair? honestly i'd give my body to someone else erasing my consciousness from this world if that was possible
i would as well
 
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C

cluefixphantom

Student
Feb 19, 2026
158
I have so many examples, and they all come down to: Coincidence and 'luck' (subjective misfortune if you don't even want to survive).

Every day, people die from organ failures, accidents, bullying, are pushed to suicide, victim of murder/violence and so on. I learned in my years that humans aren't so different from other animals–we have systems that exploit the vulnerable for money. But there's no quality of life in that and natural selection is 100% active.

Disabled, ill, elderly, weak people get abused like trash and many are abandoned and abused ('cared for') in shelthers or psychiatric hospitals, or/and they end on the streets or in domestic violence/prostitution circumstances.

And bbout the coincidence and 'luck' part, I can also give one recent example from People magazine:

The champion swimmer Hannah Nelson dies with 23 from brain bleeding (or medical fraud–maybe they were too lazy to rescue her).

While another female swimmer Jane Asher is now 95 years old, she entered her first masters swim competition at 50. She is grandmother and great-grandmother.

The circumstances we cannot really control decide how long we survive and how well imo.

Another example I read last year, where a girl had stomach cramps, and the doctor only said she should take Ibuprufen. The girl later died from a bowel perforation. I've been sent away despite my pain too, I had ovarian cysts.

So far, I've survived it, but those careless people in medical industry probably assume I'm already dead and they earn more money, can travel, can find friends and new partners, can build homes and define what is ill and what not and so on. I was born into trash, they just punch me further into it, but it hasn't killed me yet, while they were born into a golden castle and achieve things and great memories, that are not available for me.

I will never know what it feels like to be loved. At the same time, another woman with a slightly different face, hair, scent– better health, a better version of my genetic phenotype– has a good family, children, a husband, and the whole normal middle-class life. Comparable to Adam Pearson and his brother if you will.

This is not just the cruelty of nature, but the russian roulette that our parents inflict on us and the state allowed that they breed. I filed complains 2025 and no I wasn't given any compensation yet, but I think it's better to call it out and I hope other victims of discrimination, physical pain, disabiliies, poverty and so on, start to see the bigger picture. So that they no longer blame themselves but the state and their filthy parents.
 
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