Venting How does it feel to be loved?

[MrSpacebound]

I have never been loved.

I'm from India where we live with parents all our life, first they take care of us and then we have to take care of them until they die. One of the reasons for this is because here in India we do not have enough pension to survive on it alone. Because of this I feel I'm just like an insurance policy for my parents they raised me took care of me paid for my studies so that in return I will take care of them when they are old. I never felt love from them especially my mom. It feels like I'm a burden to them. Also, I don't turn out to be financially successful didn't do good in studies and don't have a good career have a low paying job.

I'm 31 and I never had a romantic relationship nobody was ever interested in me. I will not live a suicide note because suicide notes are written for loved ones. I was not asked to be brought in this world and I have to live my life in guilt that my parents are suffering because I'm not doing financially well and I can't even ctb worrying about who will take care of them when I'm gone.

and my mental illness is whole other thing.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence really is just too cruel, it must be so tiring feeling trapped in that situation. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

It felt wonderful to be loved when I experienced it. With my mom (and dad), both of whom are deceased now, but especially my mom, I always knew that I was loved, that unconditional kind of love. Sure, I suppose I've been involved in a couple romantic relationships whereby I was loved, but truth be told, none of those ever worked out for the long term, at least not the long term leading to marriage. And the romantic love, at least that which I experienced, never had that "certainty" of being loved like that which I felt from my mother. I'll tell you another thing, that always knowing that someone in this world loved you for your entire life, and then have it end, and now having absolutely no one in my life who loves me, is absolutely surreal. There just aren't words to describe how it feels to have no one in this world who loves you.

 

[melodyhehe]

I have never been loved.

I'm from India where we live with parents all our life, first they take care of us and then we have to take care of them until they die. One of the reasons for this is because here in India we do not have enough pension to survive on it alone. Because of this I feel I'm just like an insurance policy for my parents they raised me took care of me paid for my studies so that in return I will take care of them when they are old. I never felt love from them especially my mom. It feels like I'm a burden to them. Also, I don't turn out to be financially successful didn't do good in studies and don't have a good career have a low paying job.

I'm 31 and I never had a romantic relationship nobody was ever interested in me. I will not live a suicide note because suicide notes are written for loved ones. I was not asked to be brought in this world and I have to live my life in guilt that my parents are suffering because I'm not doing financially well and I can't even ctb worrying about who will take care of them when I'm gone.

and my mental illness is whole other thing.

being in love its the only reason i kept going despite having a ton of mental issues nd struggles. i think its mostly cause i dont really live for myself (never did cause of domestic abuse which ruined me) and loving someone and being love gave me hope. i was able to focus on them and help them and ignore my own stuff it helped me a lot. i had my bad days sure but i was able to just shrug it off knowing i have this one person i love and we can spend time together nd pretend to be happy

when all u have in life is that one person nd theres nothing else cause u dont want to exist to begin with; the moment theyre gone it just kills you
we were so alike and had similar struggles. we liked the same music and same shows.. now anything i do or see just reminds me of them and makes me wanna throw up cause of how much it hurts

ive been in quite few relationships and i know this person was different and just.. ideal? im obsessive too but ive never loved anyone as much before and now that we broke up im close to giving up. i still have hope that we will get back together but i think this time we're done for good and theres nothing that can save us. im still greatful we got to be together cause they made me feel happy for first time in my life, like actually happy when we got back together after breaking up first time i just cried all night cause of how happy i was and ive been looking forward to us being together again.

love is scary, but it let me feel something, now i just cut and pop pills every day to get through days. my family even put me in psych ward twice since february, when we broke up.

I was not asked to be brought in this world

I also think its cruel for people to reproduce, considering how awful nd disgusting this world is

anyway i could talk nd talk but basically to me love is my hope and it gives me the will to keep existing. even if i had the chance to get back together w my ex id just live in fear of us breaking up again so i think thats it for me. ill just exist for a while longer until i cant cope any longer

 

[dory]

I feel the exact same way, love is beautiful but so hard to get it almost feels made up, this world is disgusting and health care is bs. Wishing you peace

 

[FormerlyFe(IV)]

It's nice. Doesn't solve all the problems though.

I found myself in a friend group that cares and actually intervened in my solitude.
I have a really good friend (with benefits) that makes me feel loved sometimes. But they also have attachment issues.

Yet here I am. Didn't stop me from joining the forums recently.

 

[SexyIncél]

I hope you don't blame yourself! Many games are designed so most fail. Hopefully you can figure out an escape, ideally with a trustworthy co-conspirator

In my view, there's a couple kinds of lovers: basic & yowza

Basic people... they cohabitate with you. Flattery & intimacy may feel like love, but weirdly you feel you lose more energy than you gain. It's like they're playing a role in their head — of how a lover should act. When you imagine the future with them — being utterly honest with yourself — it feels like a slow ctb

"Yowza" people... your conversations put you both in The Zone. It is clear you must both level up. Because they deserve it

Now, you may be terrible with one person, but yowza with another

If anyone worries about losing/abusing their yowza-person, feel free to message me & we'll try to figure it out. Those relationships dying is a form of ctb

 

[Slasher]

childhood trauma and my mental state made it hard for me to love and trust people but once I found a girl that I felt comfortable with I fell in love, the day we met we cut each others initial in each others legs and started acting like a couple not even 24 hours after knowing each other. I felt loved and cared for, the motherly love I so craved for as a child was right on front of me, unconditional love. this being my first actual love meant there would be a lot of problems. this will probably translate to you to. my whole mood was dictated by her, if I felt unloved for 1 day it felt like a break-up, I was never able to trust her so when she wasn't responding or acting distant I assumed she was cheating and that would ruin me for days, feeling like she is slowly getting bored and falling out of love. this is only some of the bad things I experience that you will probably also experience but on the other hand you also have all the good things that come with it like love, compassion, care, touch and whatever else. if you never had a relationship or female attention the good might seem to outweigh the bad but it really doesn't. of course having your stomach turn like a roller coaster when you see her or you heart beating so fast when her notification pops up or your body going all crazy when you hear her voice is good and all but all the sleepless nights she caused me, all the tears she caused me, all the scars on my body she caused me is not worth the good I get from her. me having a gf and saying it's not as good as it sounds is like bill gates saying money doesn't make you happy. but it's not as good as it sounds at least in my case. wish you the best of luck my man hope you find someone that loves you