It was a long term partner. It happened last year. We went to therapy after, but the therapist did not take it seriously. I told none of my friends. I tried to forgive him. It took forever for me to feel comfortable sleeping with him again. He ended up dumping me for being suicidal. When I was finally giving him access to my body again, he was planning a way out.
It's been a year now since the incident and only one month since he dumped me.
Last year, I coped by drinking a minimum of one glass of whiskey a day (not one shot, one glass). I missed work. I was hungover for a week after I stopped. I was so lonely, but I couldn't tell anyone. I went to him for comfort. Sex repulsed me for a long time and I hated when anyone touched me.
How do I recover from this? Why do I still want him back? I'm grossed out by him AND I crave him. I want to sleep with anyone else to get him off of me. I want my body to feel like mine. My body and heart are still his. Wherever he is now, he does not care.
It's been a year now since the incident and only one month since he dumped me.
Last year, I coped by drinking a minimum of one glass of whiskey a day (not one shot, one glass). I missed work. I was hungover for a week after I stopped. I was so lonely, but I couldn't tell anyone. I went to him for comfort. Sex repulsed me for a long time and I hated when anyone touched me.
How do I recover from this? Why do I still want him back? I'm grossed out by him AND I crave him. I want to sleep with anyone else to get him off of me. I want my body to feel like mine. My body and heart are still his. Wherever he is now, he does not care.
