ainteenouop
83 shots
- Aug 15, 2026
- 6
for context, i met this girl randomly online during our winter breaks and we proceeded to get very close over the span of a few weeks. we connected especially on how we viewed the world because of our past experiences & traumas. and atleast for me, ive never experienced such a genuine friendship before
regardless, we repeatedly had smallish issues pop up and i started to believe she would get bored/annoyed with me and cut me off, reaching the point where i unadded her first instead, then immediately regretting it and trying to contact her again, to which she justifiably told me to fuck off.
since then weve been in this cycle of her reaching out after a few months and us rekindling somewhat, but i never fully trust her so i eventually cut her off again, then i feel bad so i try to reach out but she ignores me. most recently she added me back on discord, we hardly really talked to each other for a few days and then she unadded me, which is the first time shes done that so i think shes finally done with me.
yes i know i obviously fucked up and i hate myself so much for it, and i wish i could just let her go mostly for her own sake. i just cant stop thinking about her. out of the hundreds of people ive engaged with throughout my life, she was the only one who truly cared about me. its such a privilege to have experienced true human connection, and i just wish i could return the favor and be more than a burden to her.
a large part of me still wants to reach out to her again, ive been trying to improve my mental so hopefully we could atleast be cordial but i know that isnt fair for her.
is there any way to help me move on? or is this going to haunt me for the rest of my life?
regardless, we repeatedly had smallish issues pop up and i started to believe she would get bored/annoyed with me and cut me off, reaching the point where i unadded her first instead, then immediately regretting it and trying to contact her again, to which she justifiably told me to fuck off.
since then weve been in this cycle of her reaching out after a few months and us rekindling somewhat, but i never fully trust her so i eventually cut her off again, then i feel bad so i try to reach out but she ignores me. most recently she added me back on discord, we hardly really talked to each other for a few days and then she unadded me, which is the first time shes done that so i think shes finally done with me.
yes i know i obviously fucked up and i hate myself so much for it, and i wish i could just let her go mostly for her own sake. i just cant stop thinking about her. out of the hundreds of people ive engaged with throughout my life, she was the only one who truly cared about me. its such a privilege to have experienced true human connection, and i just wish i could return the favor and be more than a burden to her.
a large part of me still wants to reach out to her again, ive been trying to improve my mental so hopefully we could atleast be cordial but i know that isnt fair for her.
is there any way to help me move on? or is this going to haunt me for the rest of my life?
