Help how do you have the will to continue on your meds and/or therapy?

[alwayspissedoff]

I know 2 months is not a lot of time to have been on meds, but it just makes me feel hopeless to every day take in those 2 pills that are supposed to be helping me, to not feel major improvements, and to also be at the risk of suffering the bad side effects (which i have not even felt that much fortunately).

what really worries me is that they are actually expensive, and I feel bad that my family pays for them hoping that I'll be well, just for me being pretty much the same.
I feel bad that i have to play along with them that I'm noticing some minimal improvements.

also therapy does not cut it for me. I'm sure my therapist is a great person, but having someone telling me things I already know that I have to do to be better that don't really work for me and I have to (yet again) play along that are kind of working for me, and not being able to tell me solutions for my specific problems because, well, they're specific and she obviously doesn't know about every niche... it just doesn't cut it for me.
i even skipped this week's appointment because I really didn't want to go, and I'm thinking about stop going, but it feels kinda bad to be leaving when, looking back, feel no progress.

I'm sorry this ended up being way longer than it should have been, but if you read it, thank you.

 

[Rynalia]

Neither meds nor therapy has worked for me. I've shopped around, been referred, been forced, all at a net loss across the board.

The only things I've gotten out of therapy was the amazing opportunity to watch money go to waste, having people dismiss and try to gaslight me on any experiences that I have the fortune of still remembering, and being taught several ways to drop contact with someone/let someone go without outright ghosting them.

Oh, but if anything, it makes people in my life feel better when I go to therapy. A mixture of "wow now they'll recover and I don't need to care anymore" and "wow look how supportive and helpful I am, good job me".

The moment I get into therapy, have medications, or get hospitalized, no one gives a damn about me anymore, as if my problems magically disappeared and that there's no possible way I could ever have problems ever again.

If they're so eager to wash their hands of me, then I'll happily oblige.

 

[alwayspissedoff]

Neither meds nor therapy has worked for me. I've shopped around, been referred, been forced, all at a net loss across the board.

The only things I've gotten out of therapy was the amazing opportunity to watch money go to waste, having people dismiss and try to gaslight me on any experiences that I have the fortune of still remembering, and being taught several ways to drop contact with someone/let someone go without outright ghosting them.

Oh, but if anything, it makes people in my life feel better when I go to therapy. A mixture of "wow now they'll recover and I don't need to care anymore" and "wow look how supportive and helpful I am, good job me".

The moment I get into therapy, have medications, or get hospitalized, no one gives a damn about me anymore, as if my problems magically disappeared and that there's no possible way I could ever have problems ever again.

If they're so eager to wash their hands of me, then I'll happily oblige.

seems like your family is not truly supportive, so sorry for that (really).
truly fucking sucks how a lot of effort (money, time, etc.) is invested hoping that one's gonna be better, just to, well, nope.
with me, well, much of my close family luckily really does care about me, so it really sucks that I can't return all that they spend on me, with just being genuinely better, and that i have to act like i'm doing better for them not to become as hopeless as me.

 

[ArteriesBindEveryon]

I know 2 months is not a lot of time to have been on meds, but it just makes me feel hopeless to every day take in those 2 pills that are supposed to be helping me, to not feel major improvements, and to also be at the risk of suffering the bad side effects (which i have not even felt that much fortunately).

what really worries me is that they are actually expensive, and I feel bad that my family pays for them hoping that I'll be well, just for me being pretty much the same.
I feel bad that i have to play along with them that I'm noticing some minimal improvements.

also therapy does not cut it for me. I'm sure my therapist is a great person, but having someone telling me things I already know that I have to do to be better that don't really work for me and I have to (yet again) play along that are kind of working for me, and not being able to tell me solutions for my specific problems because, well, they're specific and she obviously doesn't know about every niche... it just doesn't cut it for me.
i even skipped this week's appointment because I really didn't want to go, and I'm thinking about stop going, but it feels kinda bad to be leaving when, looking back, feel no progress.

I'm sorry this ended up being way longer than it should have been, but if you read it, thank you.

I started meds as a teenager and am still on them. I'm unsure if they actually helped me or if it was just be becoming older and more mature. But I'm pretty sure that they at least stop me from getting worse.

 

[Emillss]

I go to therapy because I feel obligated to, even though I mostly just say whatever nonsense I think sounds halfway believable. I only take my meds because the withdrawals are brutal, and I know I'd end up in prison or a ward if I didn't. Therapy is literally just a grift and should be abolished

 

[22yearsbroken]

My meds are.
8 in the morning
2 afternoon
6 at night
Then about 8 pain meds during the day..
Its just habit for me ive been taking them so long...
My meds are practically now a food group for me ..as for therapy ive done plenty from 1 to 1 to the whole group thing many times mainly just to keep my partner happy ..but i cant stand it ..dont get me wrong it has helped .e in the past but sometimes no amount of therapy or medication can get rid if the hurt and pain i feel every day..

 

[fedup1982]

I always take my meds and go to an therapy because you never know what might help. They have in the past when I least expectes it, so yeh. I'm just lucky the NHS pays for it all. Thank god for the NHS!

Keep it up, please! It's worth it!

 

[wishingonstars]

I know 2 months is not a lot of time to have been on meds, but it just makes me feel hopeless to every day take in those 2 pills that are supposed to be helping me, to not feel major improvements, and to also be at the risk of suffering the bad side effects (which i have not even felt that much fortunately).

what really worries me is that they are actually expensive, and I feel bad that my family pays for them hoping that I'll be well, just for me being pretty much the same.
I feel bad that i have to play along with them that I'm noticing some minimal improvements.

also therapy does not cut it for me. I'm sure my therapist is a great person, but having someone telling me things I already know that I have to do to be better that don't really work for me and I have to (yet again) play along that are kind of working for me, and not being able to tell me solutions for my specific problems because, well, they're specific and she obviously doesn't know about every niche... it just doesn't cut it for me.
i even skipped this week's appointment because I really didn't want to go, and I'm thinking about stop going, but it feels kinda bad to be leaving when, looking back, feel no progress.

I'm sorry this ended up being way longer than it should have been, but if you read it, thank you.

It might be worth it to be switched to different meds, the first meds I was put on actually made things way worse, but eventually was put on a good combo that improved things a lot for 6ish years until now within the last few months they seem to have stopped working and I need to adjust again.

I would also recommend going to a different therapist, it seems like your current one is a bad match. Idk what type of therapy you're going to but I will not do CBT anymore as it felt very similar to what you describe, also had some talk therapy with similar vibes. I have had some really great therapists for talk therapy though too. I'm currently doing EMDR which I recommend especially if you have trauma. Besides type of therapy the personality of the therapist is very important, there are horrible therapists out there and there are good therapists who are not a good fit, seeing either is a waste of time.

It's also important to tell a therapist what is not working and if they are any good at all they will work with you and adjust their method. On that note I get lying to your family, there are plenty of times I have to do it too although since I don't live with them it's easier to lie by emission. I do recommend trying not to lie to your therapist and whoever is prescribing your meds though, there is no way they can help you if you lie. Also the right therapist will not judge you for being suicidal, just don't tell them about plans. Honestly my therapist has hinted at being pro-choice.

 

[Hope;ess Fear]

It worked for me in the past, so I'm in the habit. Also it makes my mom worry less. I'm really trying to make myself not ctb until after she passes because she's a wonderful, supportive, loving mother and I don't want to hurt her. It's not her fault that the world is hostile to my existence and all I can see for the future is pain and fear.

 

[derpsie]

Get on meds and you'll end up retarded with a permanently destroyed brain. Meds will only make you wish you were dead sooner

 

[knickknack81]

I have been doing therapy for just over a year now. It's been six months since things got back and I have had issues with depression and anxiety and wanting to CTB. There are sessions where I talk to my therapist and I do feel good about getting my thoughts/feelings out there and it does feel like a bit of a relief to share that. So I can value therapy for that. But there are other days when I express something serious and I dont get much back more then "sorry you feel this way" or "this will pass" I feel like I hear those things over and over. It can be frustrating. Like "why I am doing this". But ultimately, I realize I have good and bad days and just try to weather those storms as best I can and try to get by each day and not worry so much about the next.

 

[deep-sleeper]

I will start therapy in a month and reading all the negative experiences that people had on this site makes me extremely anxious

My parents sent me into a lot of therapy alternatives and it only really worked for a few weeks on me, but now that I've finally started seeing actual professionals, if it doesn't work for me, idk what else to do besides ctb

 

[Hope;ess Fear]

I will start therapy in a month and reading all the negative experiences that people had on this site makes me extremely anxious

My parents sent me into a lot of therapy alternatives and it only really worked for a few weeks on me, but now that I've finally started seeing actual professionals, if it doesn't work for me, idk what else to do besides ctb

I can't say therapy is perfect since despite having been in therapy since I was 7, I'm still on here. But I like my therapist and while she can't cure what's wrong with the world that makes me feel like ctb, she's very helpful in managing it so I can hopefully wait until my mom passes and I won't upset her.

It can take some trying. My current therapist is the 5th I'm seeing in my life and the 3rd I tried as an adult. I'm very grateful I found her, especially after hearing the experiences people on here have had.

 

[wishingonstars]

I will start therapy in a month and reading all the negative experiences that people had on this site makes me extremely anxious

My parents sent me into a lot of therapy alternatives and it only really worked for a few weeks on me, but now that I've finally started seeing actual professionals, if it doesn't work for me, idk what else to do besides ctb

Therapy can be helpful but keep in mind that the first therapist you see might not be a good fit. Please don't give up right away if that is the case. Many people I have talked to (irl not on this site) who swear off therapy got a bad therapist or simply a bad fit and gave up. There are many different types of therapy and every therapist is different. (See my other comment on this thread)

I'm not saying it will solve everything because it won't but just because it doesn't improve things immediately doesn't mean it never will. Maybe it won't work for you but there's no way to know until you've found a good fit and been in therapy for a while, often years.

Also it might be worth looking into medication, I know some people are against it but it can make a world of difference on the correct ones.

Get on meds and you'll end up retarded with a permanently destroyed brain. Meds will only make you wish you were dead sooner

It's so awful that you had that experience but that is not a universal experience. Being on the correct meds has helped me and many others I know personally so much.

 

[Mr. Snrub]

Because if I stop taking Effexor I'll fucking die!


Wait a minute...

 

[it.only.gets.worse]

I know 2 months is not a lot of time to have been on meds, but it just makes me feel hopeless to every day take in those 2 pills that are supposed to be helping me, to not feel major improvements, and to also be at the risk of suffering the bad side effects (which i have not even felt that much fortunately).

what really worries me is that they are actually expensive, and I feel bad that my family pays for them hoping that I'll be well, just for me being pretty much the same.
I feel bad that i have to play along with them that I'm noticing some minimal improvements.

also therapy does not cut it for me. I'm sure my therapist is a great person, but having someone telling me things I already know that I have to do to be better that don't really work for me and I have to (yet again) play along that are kind of working for me, and not being able to tell me solutions for my specific problems because, well, they're specific and she obviously doesn't know about every niche... it just doesn't cut it for me.
i even skipped this week's appointment because I really didn't want to go, and I'm thinking about stop going, but it feels kinda bad to be leaving when, looking back, feel no progress.

I'm sorry this ended up being way longer than it should have been, but if you read it, thank you.

Been on them for a near decade and doctor who just met me today told me meds 'won't work' for me since she thinks I have BPD (I don't) and boy does it make me want to finally give up on taking them.

 

[FoxSauce]

Well dbt works I guess its only for a year but sometimes I dont even want to go just to stay home and be asleep.

But yeah I go so well I do have some hope left and I hope this helps on some way ofc I dont expect for a miracle tho.

Been taking meds since 18 took a bit trial and error but still sometimes I feel like what the point taking them. Nevertheless I do I don't end up in the hospital (which i cant afford another stay and not have withdrawals)

 

[alwayspissedoff]

well, today I got switched to brand new meds pretty much, I'm just keeping the risperidone but changing everything else.
I don't really have much faith on them but I don't even care, if they fuck my brain even further, at least I can say I tried. I'm messed up either way.