How do you get yourself back and find pleasure in things again which you used to enjoy

[WrongGuy47]

It's been 5 years since my first attempt. I had hit my lowest point at 19 when I made my first attempt, but after few failed attempts I started focusing on life and had actually reached a point where I was enjoying life and wanted to live and exhaust all options in life before trying again. I had stopped browsing much of suicide forms or even doing any research on methods. I was sure I would easily live for few more years. I was finally happy and enjoying things, I was functioning like any normal person would. But now I find myself again in that same mental state when I was 19, This time my life conditions are even better than it was at 19 I have a job, I'm getting to work on technology I always wanted and has good future growth but I have no interest or motivation for it anymore.
I'm depressed can't enjoy things anymore. I'm making more serious attempts than ever at killing myself.
I don't even know if I can even get myself back anymore.

It sucks after recovering and being able to enjoy than having to go back to same depressed state.

 

[signifying nothing]

I'm not sure you can go back. I think you either have to find new ways/things to keep you interested in life or get good at doing nothing.

 

[painoflife]

Did something trigger you to feel depressed again or is it just something that came on over time?
Having recovered before you know that it is possible, but ultimately is a tough road when you can't see the happier times ahead yet. Try and recognise how much you achieved while you felt better and what else you can do if you give yourself more time

 

[enuff]

i set short term goals and that keeps me going for just a little bit longer. if i live long enough, maybe i'll just die like most other people die: auto accident, anneurysm, cancer, covid, heart attack, ligntning...
people dying all around me. when will it be my turn??
but oddly, one of my short-term goals is to kill myself.

 

[WrongGuy47]

i set short term goals and that keeps me going for just a little bit longer. if i live long enough, maybe i'll just die like most other people die: auto accident, anneurysm, cancer, covid, heart attack, ligntning...
people dying all around me. when will it be my turn??
but oddly, one of my short-term goals is to kill myself.

You had me in the first half

 

[waived]

I start by going for walks usually in quiet, low stress environments, to think about it outside of the more frequented physical living space that often harbors negative thinking and can start feeling more and more like a tomb because of it. I've found several places that have an ambiance I appreciate, rain and shine alike.

 

[Mentalmick]

I'm not sure you can go back. I think you either have to find new ways/things to keep you interested in life or get good at doing nothing.

I agree. Non of my interests have ever come back.

 

[muffin222]

I recommend adopting a "fake it til you make it" approach and forcing yourself to engage in activities that used to bring you pleasure, even if it feels fake, unnatural, or empty to do this. Maybe set a time limit on this- say, 2-3 weeks of "going through the motions" with old hobbies or interests you used to find pleasurable.

Treat it like a little experiment and see if after the 2-3 weeks some of the pleasure and enjoyment gets re-ignited. If it doesn't, then you know you've given it a sincere shot and you may need to then seek out other pursuits and interests, or even alternative treatment options for your depression that you haven't tried before.

I understand how difficult it can be to exert this kind of energy when you're depressed, but even the tiniest steps will start to build up some momentum for you that may help to re-spark your old interests. If not, then you can note it as a sign that perhaps it's necessary to seek out new treatment options or a new pathway forward in order to feel better.
I hope this helps, and I wish you the very best in your recovery

 

[issyishere]

We know it is possible since you have done this before. What did you do last time? Don't follow those exact steps but what was it about the steps you took that made you enjoy life? Was it you getting used to the motions of life once again? Was it the distraction that stopped you from dwelling on the bad feelings or was it you going out more?

 

[Isisnefert]

Han pasado 5 años desde mi primer intento. Llegué a mi punto más bajo a los 19 cuando hice mi primer intento, pero después de algunos intentos fallidos comencé a concentrarme en la vida y en realidad había llegado a un punto en el que disfrutaba la vida y quería vivir y agotar todas las opciones en la vida antes de volver a intentarlo. Había dejado de navegar por muchas formas de suicidio o incluso de investigar sobre métodos. Estaba seguro de que viviría fácilmente unos años más. Finalmente estaba feliz y disfrutando de las cosas, estaba funcionando como lo haría cualquier persona normal. Pero ahora me vuelvo a encontrar en ese mismo estado mental cuando tenía 19 años, esta vez mis condiciones de vida son incluso mejores que a los 19 tengo un trabajo, estoy trabajando en la tecnología que siempre quise y tengo un buen crecimiento futuro pero ya no tengo interés ni motivación para ello.
Estoy deprimido, ya no puedo disfrutar de las cosas. Estoy haciendo intentos más serios que nunca de suicidarme.
Ni siquiera sé si podré volver a mí mismo.

Apesta después de recuperarse y poder disfrutar que tener que volver al mismo estado depresivo.

Te entiendo, yo tuve varias recuperaciones y esta última recaída es la peor de todas.