How do you feel good enough?

[kuniwan]

I feel like I've always operated on the idea that I'm below everyone.

It's been pretty detrimental with the way I conduct myself in daily life.

It's hard for me to find good qualities about myself because I feel like I'm bad at everything. I think I shouldn't bother going for opportunities because I'm not skilled enough to make it work. I distance myself away from other people because I don't think I'm worthy enough to talk to them.

Feelings of inadequacy make it anxiety inducing to do a lot of things. Like, I'm applying to jobs right now and it's so hard because all I can think about is how I shouldn't bother because I'll just embarrass myself.

How do you guys recognize that you have inherent value?

 

[carac]

One thing I do is donate blood. My blood has value which isnt linked to how successful or competent I am as a person.

There was something that really made me realise this. After a donation I got an email thanking and a picture of a little girl with a disease who needed donated blood to live. Now I know my blood will probably go to some 50 year old smoker and it's just a ploy to get people to donate but it did make me think about that little girl. Do you think she cares where her blood comes from? Does it matter if it comes from a succesful, career driven, married person with kids or some failure, single, living with their mum, usless at life? To her it is just blood and it's all the same no matter who you are.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I feel like I've always operated on the idea that I'm below everyone.

to start with (easier said than done) dont compare yourself to others

and personally for me, you have to start small. and sometimes thats really small. but thats my story, and my story has me starting behind others due to my abuse and mental disorders. i cant compare myself to people that get to start at the start line while i was put 1000ft back and chained to a concrete block. my friend got out and did things she wanted to today. i got a shower and brushed my hair and teeth, only because i had an appointment. but i managed to do it, and thats good enough because its better than where i was.

 

[JusMe]

You're probably gonna roll ur eyes when you read this, but I gotta agree with the commenter above! I've struggled with the same problem, but instead of comparing myself to those around me, I started comparing myself to myself from the day before. Try not to compare urself to your peers, because they most likely aren't struggling with the same things you are! Just try to be better than yourself yesterday :) it also seems like you have a bit of a perfectionist attitude, you're not gonna be able to learn how to cope with making mistakes if you keep distancing yourself. I'd encourage you to challenge yourself, and don't be too hard on yourself if you fail! That's a part of the learning process

 

[author]

I know others already said don't compare yourself, and it's technically good advice, just hard to do, so I wanna give my perspective.

I get wrapped up in my own head a lot, wondering if I'm good enough too. The best thing that's helped me is just saying "fuck it". Like, who cares if I'm bad at it? What is everyone else gonna do, laugh? Okay, then what? They all move on. Usually the only one who lingers on your mistakes is you and awful people, and honestly, screw the latter. I know it's easy to spiral, but think about this too; you're probably not the only one who's anxious in a lot of situations. More often than not, people are more focused on themselves and trying not to screw up in their own ways. Even if someone laughs when something goes wrong, they'll probably forget about later.

Doing anything is going to be scary. It's hard to even just go "fuck it" and do it, but once you do, it's like... Now what? Personally I spend so much time anxious about what'll happen that when I do the thing, it's underwhelming because none of the anxieties came true lol

Just know I feel you, and I'm rooting for you.