I don’t have the energy to be a good person

[wildflowers1996]

I feel like I should be trying so much harder, in so many ways

I keep wasting money on things like takeaways and I keep thinking I could've given that money to charity. I'm so wasteful with money. But I feel too depressed to make food so it's the only way I eat unless someone cooks for me.

Things like this. I can't be bothered with working out what needs recycling and what doesn't.

I let my mum cook for me etc because I just won't bother otherwise. I feel like such a burden.
I don't do chores. I do work from home but that's it.

I want to make my family happy. I want to be a good friend.

I feel I should be volunteering for important causes. Giving something back to society, not just wasting resources and people's time.

I see the news about Gaza and other than donating a bit and spreading some awareness online, I'm useless.

I want to care. I hope I'm not just horrible. So why can't I just make myself do things? I can't be happy ever. But why can't I put in the effort to help other people/animals?

I just feel like I'm in this overwhelming debt to society. Like the world is worse because of me. And I want to pay the debt, but I don't know how, and I don't know when I've done enough to pay it.

But also I think I do care. I don't want anyone to suffer. I think my inaction is partly because I just feel useless / powerless. Nothing I do is enough. Or maybe I make things worse. But surely doing something good is better than nothing. So why aren't I doing anything.

I see posts on here and I just want to talk to literally everyone and try to make things better for them but I could try and try and try and probably get nowhere

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Dude, it's fine to be a bit selfish and just focus on yourself for a bit. You can't end suffering. No one can. It's good that your heart is clearly in the right place, but if you aren't doing well mentally then you should focus on trying to take care of yourself.

Think of it kind of like when you are on a plane and they tell you that you need to put on your own oxygen mask first before you help the person sitting next to you put on theirs. To help others you need to be in a place where you doing well mentally. You need to take care of yourself before you can help others.

 

[Orangee]

The fact that you recognize that already makes you better than most people nowadays. I know it's very difficult to go easy on yourself, and you probably won't change the way you think about yourself because of some random person on the internet, but you are already doing your best and that's enough. Mental illnesses are as impactful as physical illnesses, and just like how you shouldn't expect yourself to cook and do chores when you are recovering from a broken arm, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself for being impacted by mental and emotional pain.. You are aware of the things you could do to be a better person and that is already a first step. The fact that you care is enough, and if one day, you feel like you have energy and motivation to do one of above things, great. If not, it is also totally fine, because you are suffering and it is difficult to get stuff done when you are suffering. Please take care.