How do you expect yourself to be in 5 years?

[amor.dor]

I've read several threads where some users have been trying to CTB for years without success, while others managed it in a matter of a few days here on the forum. So I got to thinking about how we sometimes believe that in a few months we'll be doing something else, and then when we come to, we realize so much time has passed and we've ended up in places we never imagined.

More than a year ago I drank SN. And just days before that, I thought I would never make it to 2025.

 

[Macedonian1987]

I expect to be dead and buried. I will not be forgotten because I was never even remembered in the first place All my life I lived like a ghost, friendless and without any love life.

 

[noname223]

The suvey should add worse but still alive. My most likely scenario.

 

[ImpairedLowlife]

Either better or dead. Not sure which one.

 

[martyrdom]

Serving as a charcoal amendment for the soil & providing some much needed nutrients for the graveyard dandelions.

 

[amor.dor]

The suvey should add worse but still alive. My most likely scenario.

You're right, I just added it.

 

[heatnormal]

when i read the title, i immediately thought of a job interview -- "how committed are you to being alive?" i never imagined myself living longer than i currently do. i've known people older than me who had their whole lives planned out; age by age. and they checked every box they had made for themselves -- went to a specific college they chose, had a partner at 20yo, birthed a child at 25yo, built a career by 30, and so on.
i think it's amazing how some percentage of the population has their whole life planned out (and sticks to it); but i think it all comes down to how well you can adapt to change and how likely you are to take risks. some people are more ill-equipped than others. one episode worse than the others, or a sequence of events, and i may have had enough. but i don't know.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I really hope, dead.

 

[violetforever]

i won't even think that far.

 

[Dejected 55]

I hope dead... but will definitely be worse. No way I'll be any better.

 

[Xi-Xi]

I hope I'm better in 5 years. I really want my situation to improve.

And for those edgy folks out there, better could mean dead for me.

I'll find out, I guess, if I live to tell the tale

 

[ceelobling]

Alive, unfortunately. It's too scary to ctb. Years will go by, and I know I will still be here.

 

[FuneralCry]

The true permanent peace of non-existence is all I could ever hope for no matter what, I don't want to expect any kind of existence as existence itself is the most dreadful, terrible mistake that only ever tortures existing beings, to be conscious burdened with this torturous existence will always be an abomination to me.

All I need is true permanent peace from the evil of existence, in this existence that just harms existing beings and just causes all this dreadful suffering all for the sake of it with no limit as to how much one can be tortured non-existence truly is all I see as positive, for me ceasing to exist would be the positive solution. It'd be suffering and torture prevention but of course I always suffer so much from existing in this horrific world where dying painlessly is a crime as many humans want others to be tortured for as long as possible which is just horrifying, it's just so terrible how humans force this dreadful existence onto others, to exist really is the most painful, torturous and undeserved punishment, to be tortured for years longer in this existence would be unbearable

 

[TwistedNightmares]

I will most likely still be alive, unfortunately.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I just bought a new gaming system and I'm too cowardly to end it. So if I had to guess:

 

[dead dav]

Dead by my own hands or natural causes due to ageing my health is getting worse as time goes by

 

[LonelyPrince]

Either dead or free. No in-between.

 

[ScaredCutter]

probs better because i wanna be rich enough in life and be able to live with my boyfriend and begin a new path with him. im still scared of dying but, idk what the future holds

 

[nitrogenous]

I mean… better can be either way right (dead or not) as it is subjective… I just hope in 5 years time I will get the peace and love, I've missed out on…

 

[Spite]

I imagine I will still be alive, but in worse circumstances. I will be in my early 30s by that point and I just imagine the older I get the worse everything will get. I do think I will CTB eventually and it's almost an inevitability but I still think I've got a couple more years to go before I get to that point. I personally don't see myself living to see my 40th birthday, though, so if this poll said 10 years instead of 5, I probably would have selected the "Dead" option. I really don't think I will be alive in 10 years from now. I'd be genuinely astounded if I'm still alive and kicking in 2036.

 

[Arvayn]

I believe I will still be alive, unless some unforeseen accident takes place. I have struggled with existential disillusionment since age 9 and felt chronically burnt out from life since age 18 (not depressed or miserable; burnt out). Last year, I made a recovery from my major depression after trying psychedelics and studying spirituality, and although I still have the "burnt out" feeling, I now have the tolerance and interest in some things to go on.

I will probably be working in a morgue and speaking to no one. I chose thanatology, and one part of why is because it is a very isolating field with low degrees of human interaction, if any. Most of the time, it's just you and the cadaver. People do not think about undertakers, and I prefer that. I have learned to value positions where you quietly do what you have to, and then you disappear.

 

[LittleSunshine]

Dead or alive. Seriously, I wouldn't know. I do know that I'm a ticking time bomb.

 

[Pluto]

 

[NonEssential]

I want to say dead but the thing is that I also said that five (or more) years ago.

 

[Liebestod]

Six feet under

 

[Dark Moon]

Hopefully I'll be dead and into the ether long before 5 years. I don't see myself getting better and living out my life.

 

[darksouls]

either dead or worse

 

[Unlucky777]

I voted dead but low key I want to be better. I have made so many changes within the last few years and I've made so much progress on my healing journey, I'm quite surprised I actually made it this far. I was at my lowest point in life a year ago and I'm very proud of myself for having come this far.

So yeah I'm pretty ambivalent about it. Some days my strong emotions get the best of me and I want to CTB but there's the other side of me that's like wait I'm actually building my life back up again

 

[webb&flow]

I voted dead but low key I want to be better. I have made so many changes within the last few years and I've made so much progress on my healing journey, I'm quite surprised I actually made it this far. I was at my lowest point in life a year ago and I'm very proud of myself for having come this far.

So yeah I'm pretty ambivalent about it. Some days my strong emotions get the best of me and I want to CTB but there's the other side of me that's like wait I'm actually building my life back up again

happy to hear that :) best of wishes in building again :)