Help how do i stop being delusional

[shediedatsea]

i guess the only thing that actually is keeping me from my bus departure, is that i keep trying to convince myself that people care about me, they love and need me to be there
when in reality they dont, they wouldn't care if i was gone, my presence makes no difference to them and at this point i'm not even sure why i keep telling myself the opposite of the reality
they don't even care when i tell them that i'm doing unwell, anxious and that i need someone to comfort/distract me for just 10 minutes, they dont even bother spending 10 minutes with me or even bother leaving me a single message, knowing i need them
how do i give myself a reality check? it's like my mind is in a distorted place far away from reality to keep me from harming myself, but i NEED to face reality now
how do i get myself and my mind out of this fantasy world

 

[fedup1982]

I wonder if I can help.

How about a challenge?

Can you tell me what the evidence is FOR the concept that people DO care and need you? How much? How often? Why? And how do you feel about that?

Then, do the same, but the opposite, list why you think people DONT need you or care about you? How strong is the evidence? And how do you feel about that?

Sometimes writing it out and explaining it to others helps come to terms with things

 

[shediedatsea]

Can you tell me what the evidence is FOR the concept that people DO care and need you? How much? How often? Why? And how do you feel about that?

theres no evidence, only for quite the opposite and it makes me feel awful

Then, do the same, but the opposite, list why you think people DONT need you or care about you? How strong is the evidence? And how do you feel about that?

my friends exclude me, dont ask me to join in, ignore my messages and don't make the time for me when i ask them to, even if it's just 10 minutes
sure they said they'd be there for me when i need them but that's not actually the case, it's just empty words and again, it makes me feel awful, out of place and unwanted

 

[fedup1982]

theres no evidence, only for quite the opposite and it makes me feel awful

my friends exclude me, dont ask me to join in, ignore my messages and don't make the time for me when i ask them to, even if it's just 10 minutes
sure they said they'd be there for me when i need them but that's not actually the case, it's just empty words and again, it makes me feel awful, out of place and unwanted

When they said they're there for you if you need them, what do you think they had in mind about how they could help?

 

[shediedatsea]

When they said they're there for you if you need them, what do you think they had in mind about how they could help?

i'm not sure what they had in mind honestly.. maybe they didn't even have anything in mind and they just said it to make themselves feel like they are a good friend

 

[amerie]

If being "delusional" is keeping you sane then I think curing it is a waste of time and will make you want to die faster, unless that's what you want.

Maybe daydream that they care but don't actually say it to them in person.

Also you don't need to tell your friends about your mh crisis, maybe divert the topic to something else so you can talk and have company. It's healthier than venting to them and making them uncomfy anyway.

 

[Eternal Disaster]

my friends exclude me, dont ask me to join in, ignore my messages and don't make the time for me when i ask them to, even if it's just 10 minutes
sure they said they'd be there for me when i need them but that's not actually the case, it's just empty words and again, it makes me feel awful, out of place and unwanted

I go through the same thing and now I realise they don't want to talk about mental health issues.
Try reaching out to them with some other topics.