D
Dead_Mouse
What do they really think of me?
- Jul 17, 2023
- 25
Hello,
So, a few hours ago I ate a ton of my blood pressure meds (Aspirin 24*81mg and Lisinopril 7*20mg), hoping it would thin my blood so I could bleed out more easily. I just looked it up, and Lisinopril isn't a blood thinner! Anyways, all I want is to bleed enough to knock myself out so I drown in a bathtub. With my heart condition, if I submerge my chest in really hot water I'll get really dizzy - I'm not supposed to do that in hot tubs, but I don't think that'll work in addition to the bleeding because I think the hot tub raises my blood pressure, while meds and bleeding probably lower it.
In addition to all that, I can use the trick of hyperventilating really hard and putting my head underwater. I just don't think it'll be enough though. I think my best bet would be to do a few days without my meds, and just trying to knock myself out with hot water and hyperventilation. I'm impatient though. I'm worried that if I wait I'll loose my determination, and then I'll just be in pain, with an insane SI and no way to CTB.
Anyways, the real problem is that knives are scary and cutting myself is painful. I don't know how to get myself to cut myself. I remember that one direction causes pain and the other causes damage, though I don't remember which one is which. But I guess blood vessels are all the way under the skin, and I don't know how to get to them without a lot of pain, or how to withstand the pain.
So, a few hours ago I ate a ton of my blood pressure meds (Aspirin 24*81mg and Lisinopril 7*20mg), hoping it would thin my blood so I could bleed out more easily. I just looked it up, and Lisinopril isn't a blood thinner! Anyways, all I want is to bleed enough to knock myself out so I drown in a bathtub. With my heart condition, if I submerge my chest in really hot water I'll get really dizzy - I'm not supposed to do that in hot tubs, but I don't think that'll work in addition to the bleeding because I think the hot tub raises my blood pressure, while meds and bleeding probably lower it.
In addition to all that, I can use the trick of hyperventilating really hard and putting my head underwater. I just don't think it'll be enough though. I think my best bet would be to do a few days without my meds, and just trying to knock myself out with hot water and hyperventilation. I'm impatient though. I'm worried that if I wait I'll loose my determination, and then I'll just be in pain, with an insane SI and no way to CTB.
Anyways, the real problem is that knives are scary and cutting myself is painful. I don't know how to get myself to cut myself. I remember that one direction causes pain and the other causes damage, though I don't remember which one is which. But I guess blood vessels are all the way under the skin, and I don't know how to get to them without a lot of pain, or how to withstand the pain.