Discussion How do I know if I'm faking it or not ? (I won't see a therapist)

[Plankter]

My wild fantasies of death intensify when I have to do things I don't like in real life and despite trying hard, I fail to not reflect it on the outside and people around me (family) tell me that I'm exaggerating and overreacting and that it's not "normal" but from my point of view their perception of the world is highly deluded and they're the ones who are "crazy" and "ill". Now this makes me seriously question whether I'm faking everything involuntarily because there seems to be a general consensus of basically all the people around me (mostly family) that labels my behavior as "not normal and overreactive" and this made me think if I'm seriously in need of "treatment" but again since everyone around me are conventional people who love to accept things as they are no matter how impractical, I feel quite convinved that I'm the one on the normal side of the spectrum. Then I can't call them dumb or anything because most people in my family are -although not many of them are very successful- doctors, engineers or teachers.
Also, I don't know how this text will be perceived by you guys because when I opened up to certain people (that I won't share here) they told me that I probably came up with a speech that would basically self-confirm my doubts of being mentally distressed due to being too obviously biased or whatever so I just want to let you guys know that I'm very genuinely confused about the state of my mental well being and I have no intention other than to seek some insight from likeminded people like you guys and maybe some venting on the side too.

I really want to put a TL;DR section but honestly I don't kmow how to summarize all that.

Anyway thanks in advance and even if you don't reply I hope you have a fantastic day

 

[intheweeds]

If your mental distress has led you to posting on a suicide forum then that kinda speaks for itself and doesn't seem "fake". Whatever you feel is very much real if it's affecting your mental health.

Why don't you want to see a therapist? I'm just asking because I refused to see one for a long time and eventually gave in and have found it really helpful.

 

[Donewith_]

a person have to find this on their own..

Before some months.. i used to feel in a similar way. If i feel ill or feeling bad about something..the first thing i used to ask myself is..is it really happening? Is the problem really that severe? Or i am just imagining things , thinking and feeling more. I found no answer .. and i used to convince myself that everything is ok..brush off my bad feeling, pretend everything is ok. Sorry if this can not be of anyhelp to you. i too think its better to get help from therapist or counselor.
Coz when you don't know the problem.. it can't be solved.

And you too ..have a good day.

Edit: saw that you don't want to see therapist. I have no better idea then.

 

[Plankter]

If your mental distress has led you to posting on a suicide forum then that kinda speaks for itself and doesn't seem "fake". Whatever you feel is very much real if it's affecting your mental health.

Why don't you want to see a therapist? I'm just asking because I refused to see one for a long time and eventually gave in and have found it really helpful.

I saw a psychiatrist for 3 sessions 2 years ago and neither that nor the antidepressants he prescribed helped. Also I don't want to start the whole "I need to get help for my mental health" discussion with my parents. I currently live with them and I really can't stand the atmosphere I create when I bring up my depression.

a person have to find this on their own..

Before some months.. i used to feel in a similar way. If i feel ill or feeling bad about something..the first thing i used to ask myself is..is it really happening? Is the problem really that severe? Or i am just imagining things , thinking and feeling more. I found no answer .. and i used to convince myself that everything is ok..brush off my bad feeling, pretend everything is ok. Sorry if this can not be of anyhelp to you. i too think its better to get help from therapist or counselor.
Coz when you don't know the problem.. it can't be solved.

And you too ..have a good day.

Edit: saw that you don't want to see therapist. I have no better idea then.

Pretending that everything is okay is also what ive been doing for the past few years except for the time i saw a psychiatrist for a short while. I also like to numb my brain with reddit and youtube. But eventually my inner conflict will start to affect the opportunities i get in life and i definitely want to avoid that, which is why i felt a need to consult somebody. And nobody knows how it feels better than people who have had similar experiences.

No response is unhelpful btw, at its worst it feels good to know that someone found your thread worthy of being replied.

 

[Thanatos]

I found my situation similiar to yours when I was younger but it's gotten so so much worse. Just trust me you definitely aren't faking it, and letting people invalidate your feelings will only make it worse

 

[Tabbyql]

I'm exactly the same