How do I get medicated for bpd in the uk?

[bl33ding_heart]

So I have completely untreated bpd. Untreated because I was never able to receive dbt therapy or get medication due to the unbearably long waiting list. It's possible that if I were completely open and honest with my psychologist I would have been treated in some way. But my symptoms are so fucking bad and I've done way too many heinous things because of my disorder. So out of fear of being sectioned I made sure I was very careful of what I revealed. I'm very sure that if I get sectioned I just wouldn't be able to deal with it and would desperately wanna ctb. And of course going through with the act of ctb in a mental hospital is incredibly difficult and close to impossible. So getting sectioned would be literal torture. So how do I get some form of medication without getting sectioned? My bpd is making me wanna end myself, and I've heard many people say that medication can make a huge difference. My bpd is also making it so much more difficult to focus on my education. Exam season is nearby, so if I'm unable to get it together I'm essentially fucking myself over. Thank you for reading, and all advice is appreciated.

 

[reasal_phenomenon]

I got "lucky" because of an aborted attempt when I was a teen and was put on most kinds of psych meds (nothing has ever worked for me, though atypical antipsychotics can be good for just wasting years of one's life in a zombie state). I wasn't sectioned or anything even though it should have been obvious i was planning on combining suicide methods and had a note. I made shallow cuts to my throat before i gave up and they healed fairly quick. With what they perceive as a half-hearted "cry for help" you mightn't get sectioned. Hospital beds in psych wards can be so overcrowded they'll take any excuse not to.

Do be aware SSRIs and SNRIs take several weeks to kick in and the side effects are often awful. If you are sitting exams make sure you get extra time etc. for them or you'll fail them easily. I went from top of my school to like middling as a result of psych meds. Atypical antipsychotics don't take long to kick in but they are zombie drugs. Anxiolytics can either be complete placebo or okay, but the okay ones don't get prescribed these days because they're scheduled substances.

I also don't think you should try to get a BPD (EUPD in UK) diagnosis. It's absurdly stigmatised. My psychiatrist flat out was fine misdiagnosing me with depression instead and said he'd rather not give me the diagnosis given I'm functional.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I got "lucky" because of an aborted attempt when I was a teen and was put on most kinds of psych meds (nothing has ever worked for me, though atypical antipsychotics can be good for just wasting years of one's life in a zombie state). I wasn't sectioned or anything even though it should have been obvious i was planning on combining suicide methods and had a note. I made shallow cuts to my throat before i gave up and they healed fairly quick. With what they perceive as a half-hearted "cry for help" you mightn't get sectioned. Hospital beds in psych wards can be so overcrowded they'll take any excuse not to.

Do be aware SSRIs and SNRIs take several weeks to kick in and the side effects are often awful. If you are sitting exams make sure you get extra time etc. for them or you'll fail them easily. I went from top of my school to like middling as a result of psych meds. Atypical antipsychotics don't take long to kick in but they are zombie drugs. Anxiolytics can either be complete placebo or okay, but the okay ones don't get prescribed these days because they're scheduled substances.

I also don't think you should try to get a BPD (EUPD in UK) diagnosis. It's absurdly stigmatised. My psychiatrist flat out was fine misdiagnosing me with depression instead and said he'd rather not give me the diagnosis given I'm functional.

Thank you for your advice. Also, I'm already diagnosed with bpd but was just unable to get proper treatment due to the waiting list being crazy long. And my life being very busy at the time of my psych evaluation which meant I unfortunately had to miss a lot of appointments.

 

[reasal_phenomenon]

Thank you for your advice. Also, I'm already diagnosed with bpd but was just unable to get proper treatment due to the waiting list being crazy long. And my life being very busy at the time of my psych evaluation which meant I unfortunately had to miss a lot of appointments.

Ah apologies I misread untreated as undiagnosed somehow. Yeah the mental health system is extremely strained. The last time I phoned my psychiatrist to say I wanted back on psych meds I just got ghosted. It's likely because I didn't mention anything urgent like "suicidal ideation" or "at risk" etc.

I think the likelihood of being sectioned is honestly low so long as you are just talking about ctb and say that you "don't have any plans" but it really depends on the area you are in. If you have any other coping mechanisms these can be good too. If you know how BPD works then there are ways to force yourself to acquire a new FP, trigger dissociation on command, gain self esteem from targeted attention-seeking etc. I wouldn't say any of this is healthy but it can be useful for achieving concrete goals like exams. When I had some hope in my life and was trying to get a husband, I used to purposefully manipulate myself into liking certain people I had to like for work, liking certain things other people liked and people pleasing others so that I felt paid attention to and cared for. My psychiatrist sees my BPD as the quiet subtype however so your experience might be different.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Ah apologies I misread untreated as undiagnosed somehow. Yeah the mental health system is extremely strained. The last time I phoned my psychiatrist to say I wanted back on psych meds I just got ghosted. It's likely because I didn't mention anything urgent like "suicidal ideation" or "at risk" etc.

I think the likelihood of being sectioned is honestly low so long as you are just talking about ctb and say that you "don't have any plans" but it really depends on the area you are in. If you have any other coping mechanisms these can be good too. If you know how BPD works then there are ways to force yourself to acquire a new FP, trigger dissociation on command, gain self esteem from targeted attention-seeking etc. I wouldn't say any of this is healthy but it can be useful for achieving concrete goals like exams.

How exactly could I use an fp to help pass my exams? I'm honestly not concerned about it being healthy or not as exam season is way too close by. Could you explain in a little more detail please?

 

[reasal_phenomenon]

It can depend on the nature of cluster b personality disorders but essentially for 1-6 months starting new relationships people often experience a lot more stability as they enter into "favourite person", "attention person" or "equal person" dynamics. I'd say relationships are not always necessary in this regard, so long as you force yourself to be massively engaged with someone else, mirror them and in a sense mentally become them. If you have trauma that required you to be a people pleaser, then this can be adapted to interpersonal relationships.

If this is difficult for you you could try searching youtube for self-hypnosis videos etc. A lot of cluster b people, since we have extremely fluctuating senses of self, identity, beliefs, emotions, attachment to others etc. can be extremely suggestible. Thus it's possible in many cases to essentially hack one's own brain, even if it won't cure the underlying issue (I am on SaSu after all).

The issue of course is you will invariably split on someone (all good -> all bad), but if you time things correctly and force yourself to simply move onto someone else you can survive some of this fallout. Also ethically speaking, you should not want to become the kind of person who hurts others as a result of your own emotional instability. That being said, it's likely you could hurt others anyhow if you do not attempt to regulate your emotions in a smarter way. That's the curse of BPD.

I hope things go well for you! You seem fairly high-functioning if you're worried about exams in general.