Help How do I fuck myself up, mentally and physically?

[ma0]

I've thought about CTB for ages now, and for various reasons. I've always felt inferior, scared and alone, even when I'm surrounded by people who I know and who at least say they care about me. I've had constant fears that those around me are finding loads of success, while I can't even find a fucking hobby. It's just jealousy... Or me being an attention seeking whore, it can go both ways.

At this current time, I'm unsure whether I'm going to to commit to these actions, and that's mainly because I don't want to hurt anyone around me, but I'm also just very scared of the thought of ending my own life even when I know that it's what I want. I said this in a previous thread, but it all just seems too real, so I want to desensitize myself to the idea of CTB.

If ya'll have any suggestions of ways that I could fuck up my mind and body to make myself even more miserable than I am now, I'd like to hear them. Things like not eating, looking at gore (I'll have to brute force my way into this one.) or engaging in SH. My ultimate goal here is to give myself more than enough reasons to CTB, and not be a fucking pussy.

Any advice appreciated!

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

 

[Darkover]

what happen to me was i listen to music everyday with big headphones on causing damage to both of my ears and my brain only took around 2 years, now i am debilitated and dependent on medication not to bed bound.

i wouldn't recommend you making your life any worse than it already is, if i had know these damn headphones where going cause such damage i would of never of used headphones

 

[ma0]

I've seen the first video, and I've been pretty good at following those steps.

I'll need to check out the second one tho.


Edit: holy shit I've been following all the advice already, well that's great.

 

[Hotsackage]

Goodbye horses is a good song