Help How do I forgive myself and others

[terra.nuvo]

This topic has come up a lot in my mind recently and also in therapy and I genuinely have no idea how to do either. I think a big part of my depression now is not being able to forgive mainly myself but also others to and extent. I've made so many mistakes and have hurt someone I love dearly and I can't begin to understand how I forgive myself for that. And people have left me behind in my depression and I don't know how to forgive them for that either. My therapist says that forgiveness takes time but hasn't really given me any concrete ideas on how to forgive, so I'm opening the discussion to all of you. How do I forgive myself for the mistakes I've made and forgive others for the ways that they've hurt me?

 

[Life_and_Death]

have you tried understanding?
putting yourself in their shoes? it probably wasnt right for them to leave you but they had to think about their own mental health as well.
why you made those mistakes? and remember its ok to make mistakes, i like to live by the second action, not the first. what matters is that you apologize and try to make it right if you can. sadly sometimes that isnt always possible, but communication is typically a good start, then you can at least say you tried.
i find that if you can learn a lesson from a mistake, then it wasnt all bad.

this is just something that im using to work on the same problem.

 

[Mirrory Me]

Sometimes you can hurt others, knowingly or unknowingly, e.g. by walking on an ant. I guess the consolation is that others have done it too - so what should we accept or learn from it?

 

[Labyrinth]

I wake up in the morning and hear a whisper "you destroyed your life". When I'm alone with myself a whirlwind of thoughts invade my mind, so I start to debate dialectically about mistakes and regret. I abandoned myself for a long time and I confess that this is unforgivable. I tend to look for justifications that reduce guilt; hug the pillow and say "it's going to be okay"; and begging my past "old self" for forgiveness.