Discussion How did you spend Christmas, while being suicidal?

[Nemeshisu]

I could joke and say that i did spend it on giving up on life and eating cake in meantime. But to be honest it was worst christmas ever. Dont get me wrong it was kinda ok. However in November this year my beloved dog had passed away so it was first christmas that i had spent without him. Also my parents yelled at eachother because my mom had to prepare every meal herself and my dad didnt help her. But I wish they wouldnt get angry that much. Its sad that it might have been last christmas we've spent together, and they wasted it on some meaningless quarrels. I'd rather eat just bread during christmas so I could atleast have one christmas without them getting mad because of trivial matters.

 

[Squiddy]

Spent it with family and getting breaks in between to visit this site

 

[1DayItWillBover]

sleeping, self hatred, listening to music, wishing i was happy..

 

[uglybean18]

Crying and lying in bed. Fortunately I at least had a bed to lie in this year
If a miracle happens and I somehow survive this year and no longer have a reason to ctb, maybe I'll be spending next christmas cuddled up to someone I love instead...

 

[hatelife]

There is a name for this effect , some syndrome which for the life of me I cannot remember , it's not a conspiracy theory , people have actually read about some event months before it happened .

you mean the mandela effect?

 

[Skyview]

you mean the mandela effect?

Yes !!! Thank you

 

[hatelife]

Yes !!! Thank you

I got the dejavu today also when I shook the hand of my female doctor, she treated me back in 2010, but its so strange, I had cried on the treatment table so she felt sorry for me, but the sensation was like I had experienced it before and was just going through the motions until my suicide.
I really feel like this is the end, I cant explain. We will see, only if miracle happen before I dont do it, but its like everything has already happened thats going to happen has happened.
I also get this song everytime somebody close to me (or me I hope) is going to be dead soon


but my brother is pissed, I talked to him, I will at least wait after new years if I plan on it, not to ruin the new year for him and his wife

 

[Skyview]

WOW ! You must be sensitive to pick up on this , Mandela effect or mind out of time . I can't prove what I am about to write scientifically or otherwise, when someone dreams the person laying next to them doesn't share the dream , it is known that some of the most influential people have kept journals at their bedside table to document their dreams , dreams that have offered a solution to their work . Is it possible the mind while asleep solves the problem or do we each have a separate frequency assigned to us for communication.
When you shook hands with the doctor , is it possible that for you and only you that time stopped for a millisecond and you were given insight , ie , information?
Mandela effect ; is this caused by a ripple in the fabric of the universe where some get to see future events and they are not aware of being given this info till whatever event takes place causing a trigger event in their mind ?

 

[Egddios]

I'd been sort of dreading the holidays, or more so the pressure from what little family I have. My mother died in November and I've been struggling, but I ended up going over to my brothers house to be with him, my SIL, and my dad. I figured I might as well, seeing as I'm planning to end my life in February or March, and this would be the last holiday I'm around. Not like I can tell anyone in my family that.

I really wanted to be home in my apartment, alone, smoking some weed, cozy in my bed. I feel exhausted.

 

[snowman626]

This Christmas sucked as usual. Just smoked weed alone, eating cold pizza, feeling lonely. Havent had a good Christmas since 1999 when i was 12, back then things were magical and i was not depressed.

 

[Skyview]

I'd been sort of dreading the holidays, or more so the pressure from what little family I have. My mother died in November and I've been struggling, but I ended up going over to my brothers house to be with him, my SIL, and my dad. I figured I might as well, seeing as I'm planning to end my life in February or March, and this would be the last holiday I'm around. Not like I can tell anyone in my family that.

I really wanted to be home in my apartment, alone, smoking some weed, cozy in my bed. I feel exhausted.

Yeah , I get you , people don't understand we need our space , hate to hear your mother passed .

 

[Egddios]

Yeah , I get you , people don't understand we need our space , hate to hear your mother passed .

Thank you. It's such a nice feeling to be understood - means a lot especially lately.

 

[Skyview]

Thank you. It's such a nice feeling to be understood - means a lot especially lately.

❤

We're in this shit together, you are not alone always remember this . Feel free to DM anytime

 

[Jean4]

We're in this shit together, you are not alone always remember this . Feel free to DM anytime

That was really nice. :)

 

[Skyview]

That was really nice. :)

Thank you. It's such a nice feeling to be understood - means a lot especially lately.

❤

 

[Xebsora29]

We're in this shit together, you are not alone always remember this . Feel free to DM anytime

I agree. We are in similar circumstances, sailing in the same direction. If you guys need to talk, I'm always open. No judgements.

 

[hatelife]

WOW ! You must be sensitive to pick up on this , Mandela effect or mind out of time . I can't prove what I am about to write scientifically or otherwise, when someone dreams the person laying next to them doesn't share the dream , it is known that some of the most influential people have kept journals at their bedside table to document their dreams , dreams that have offered a solution to their work . Is it possible the mind while asleep solves the problem or do we each have a separate frequency assigned to us for communication.
When you shook hands with the doctor , is it possible that for you and only you that time stopped for a millisecond and you were given insight , ie , information?
Mandela effect ; is this caused by a ripple in the fabric of the universe where some get to see future events and they are not aware of being given this info till whatever event takes place causing a trigger event in their mind ?

Im not THAT special :) thanks anyways, nobody is this kind to me

 

[Skyview]

Im not THAT special :) thanks anyways, nobody is this kind to me

 

[S1mpleme]

I spent time with alcohol, unfortunately a 2L bottle is not enough for me to get drunk. For NY I'll get something at least 160 proof.

 

[Rena rossy]

I spend it with my family. I have always had trouble around this season with my family, but I thought I will swallow my thoughts for a last christmas.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I downed a hefty dose of phenibut before the festivities because that was the only way I could have energy and not constantly think to myself "This is my last Christmas ever..." over and over again.